I've not been successful...

[darsmama]

and I am beginning to feel like people don't freaking care at all. Super crunchy or teenage mother dosen't matter - I haven't helped one baby.

What the hell is wrong with people?? :

[drnmd1216]

I know how you feel. **BIG HUGS** I have not been able to change any of my friend's minds as well. 9 months just is not long enough Sometimes I feel like I am wasting my breath...its just so disheartening to see my friend's little boys and know that part of them was robbed without any justifyable reason. I hate being the "bad guy" and hounding pg friends over and over again. Sometimes I just want to close my eyes to it all, and just be happy my little boy is as he was meant to be, but I still have this glimmer of hope that maybe someone will listen to me one day and be grateful for the info I gave them. I just wish I could make more of a difference.

[kimkabob5]

I had a friend who told me they were not going to have a circ done on their new baby. She called me from the hospital crying. She said her dh told her that intact penises get lots of infections so she let it happen.

You just cant get through to some people. And I felt personally betrayed that she swore to me she was not going to have it done then had the surgery done anyway. It really affected my feelings for her.

[pdx.mothernurture]

Even when we don't succeed in protecting a baby, that doesn't mean our message has failed. Sometimes, people still do something even when they are uncomfortable or questioning or feel guilty. In those unfortunate cases, don't doubt for a moment that through the entire process our message often plays in the back of their minds: "This isn't necessary." "The foreskin is normal. It's me who has the cultural conditioning." "He's being subjected to pain for no good reason." "I'm taking something that doesn't belong to me." "This will affect him forever."

What kind of parent does something like that? And if they do, how might the knowledge that they did such a thing---and felt deep guilt/remorse as a result---transform their future parenting for the better? Ever choice causes an effect and invokes change, even the wrong/unethical ones. I truly believe that when a parent circumcises when they know better feels guilt and regret even before their newborn son is strapped down. Going against their gut, against their instincts, agaist their sacred obligation to protect their child from unnecessary pain and harm at the most vulnerable time in his life HAS to effect them to the very core. Perhaps if they are ever again blessed with a son they will choose differently. Some of the most passionate intactivists I've ever encountered are fueled-at least in part-by their own remorse.

Mutilating the healthy genitals of a non-consenting minor is NEVER okay, but don't doubt for a moment that even when it happens despite our very best efforts to prevent it, we've still in some way made a difference. Every intent, every idea or word we think, type, or say changes the world in some way. I think one of the most detrimental things we do to ourselves is underestimate our own power.

Please believe even when the immediate or obvious outcome isn't what you hoped for you've still made a difference.



Jen

[KnitLady]

Kim: It sounds to me like you planted the seeds! I also think that it's likely this lady won't let a future son be circ'd! She called you because you were probably the only person she knew who would care. She knew you wouldn't say it was for the best, or he won't remember it or anything silly. I'm sad she let it happen, but you did what you could!

Keep planting those seeds! I haven't saved one yet either (well, except for my own son!).

Also, you never know how many lurkers are out there reading and deciding not to circ, and you never know, it could be something you wrote that made the difference!