Originally Posted by mamabadger
It may be taking a chance, but I'm going to agree with Beth. If you can't in good conscience take on clients who plan to circ, they should be notified before you agree to provide your services. It's only fair. In fact, I'll go further: I can't see myself making demands of this kind on a client at all.
I think my anti-circ credentials are as good as anyone's, and I live in a place where few new babies are circumcised and it's not generally accepted. However, I think a professional caregiver, whether OB, midwife, or doula, has no business telling clients how to live their lives. Providing information is one thing, but choosing only clients who agree with you seems a little presumptuous to me.
In theory, you could carry these restrictions farther. I could insist on maintaining my principles and refusing to accept:
- Anyone planning to circumcise, and by extension
- All Jews, and
- All Moslems. Also
- Parents who will not be breastfeeding
- Parents who believe in spanking
A doula is hired to help a woman with her birth, not as the overseer and judge of all her moral and ethical decisions thereafter.
I guess you can just think of me a bad doula then.
I agree a doula is hired to help with the birth, but if I can't do that because of my personal beliefs, I should not be there.
I DO notify people about my anti-circ bias. I do, from the very beginning. After this, I realize how much more strongly I need to state this, as opposed to assuming they understand. This is a lesson for me. Just like I talk about my very important role in helping establish breastfeeding, they have plenty of time to figurer out that I am expecting bf-ing. If they aren't planning to bf (which I've never had to deal with), I would hope that after my "I will stay until bf-ing is established, then visit a few days later after your milk is in to hel pwith bf-ing again" they would tell me they aren't bf-ing. And you know what? I don't feel as strongly about bf-ing as I do about circumcision, which is a big shock to me actually. I am definitely biased towards bf-ing, but I have seen people lovingly bottlefeed babies. You can't lovingly cut off part of a baby's penis. And I talk a big talk about gentle parenting. All of the books I recommend have a gentle slant. I'm a API leader as well; everyone I interview with knows this, not just those who hire me. People hire me partly because of my beliefs. I dont' believe all doulas are the same and should all offer the same stuff. I'm glad there are those out there who will support those women who I can't. Not won't, CAN'T!
What about you? would you work with someone who was going to toss the baby in the trash as soon as it was born, just so she got a good birth? I get to make moral decisions about who I surround myself with. So do you. I have to live with MY choices, not you.
Did you even read my reponse to Beth? Even she forgave me after getting more clarification.
and now for some lightness, dd wants to add some smilies: