I am curious what your role as mom and you dh role within each of your families look like.
How are household tasks divided? Care of children? Diapering? Cooking?
OK, we like to take more "traditional" roles. Basically, I am a SAHM that is responsible for the household and everything that deals with running it as well as all that is necessary for caring for the children and keeping things working. My husband is the basic "Bread winner", and is responsible for working outside the home and all that entails.
As for activities of daily living, well that is fairly well balanced. My husband leaves for work before any of the children are awake. I have to take him to the bus. From there our "day time lives" run separately. He works until sixish. During that time, I feed the children breakfast, lunch, and two snacks, dress them, teach them school, keep the house clean (if I can), run all sorts of errands, make doctor visits, go on field trips, go to the library, prepare for supper, and anything else that has to be done in the basic 9-5 business hour day.
When my husband arrives home, the work is much more balanced. He assists me with supper, if it is not ready yet, he ensures all the trash is taken out (which is really an important job with a family our size), he helps supervise the children in their work (whether it is left over school work or chores), and basically, just aides me in whatever I may need help on. He then helps put them to bed as well. When he is not working during the day, he works side by side with me accomplishing anything that needs done (we usually don't do school when he is off work). He helps me shop for groceries, carry big boxes, does heavy lifting, and most importantly, kills every spider than comes my way!
He is also solely responsible for all the bills and the check book. We figured that since he was the one working, AND that he worked in our bank, he should have to deal with that stuff. He also goes with me when I take the children out in the evenings or weekends; like when we are going to the circus in a couple of weeks, or the science museum on the weekend. He is also such a wonderful father that he plays with our children all the time.
Basically, we help each other accomplish what needs to be accomplished to run the house smoothly. OH, and he does almost all the laundry! When necessary, he also washes dishes, cooks, cleans, sweeps and mops the floor, cleans out the cars, mows the grass, changes diapers, bathes the children, cares for the children, and anything else that I do.