tribe for large families/mamas of many kids? - Page 7

[Kidzaplenty]

Originally Posted by AngelBee

I am curious what your role as mom and you dh role within each of your families look like.

How are household tasks divided? Care of children? Diapering? Cooking?

These are very good questions. I love answering questions.

OK, we like to take more "traditional" roles. Basically, I am a SAHM that is responsible for the household and everything that deals with running it as well as all that is necessary for caring for the children and keeping things working. My husband is the basic "Bread winner", and is responsible for working outside the home and all that entails.

As for activities of daily living, well that is fairly well balanced. My husband leaves for work before any of the children are awake. I have to take him to the bus. From there our "day time lives" run separately. He works until sixish. During that time, I feed the children breakfast, lunch, and two snacks, dress them, teach them school, keep the house clean (if I can), run all sorts of errands, make doctor visits, go on field trips, go to the library, prepare for supper, and anything else that has to be done in the basic 9-5 business hour day.

When my husband arrives home, the work is much more balanced. He assists me with supper, if it is not ready yet, he ensures all the trash is taken out (which is really an important job with a family our size), he helps supervise the children in their work (whether it is left over school work or chores), and basically, just aides me in whatever I may need help on. He then helps put them to bed as well. When he is not working during the day, he works side by side with me accomplishing anything that needs done (we usually don't do school when he is off work). He helps me shop for groceries, carry big boxes, does heavy lifting, and most importantly, kills every spider than comes my way!

He is also solely responsible for all the bills and the check book. We figured that since he was the one working, AND that he worked in our bank, he should have to deal with that stuff. He also goes with me when I take the children out in the evenings or weekends; like when we are going to the circus in a couple of weeks, or the science museum on the weekend. He is also such a wonderful father that he plays with our children all the time.

Basically, we help each other accomplish what needs to be accomplished to run the house smoothly. OH, and he does almost all the laundry! When necessary, he also washes dishes, cooks, cleans, sweeps and mops the floor, cleans out the cars, mows the grass, changes diapers, bathes the children, cares for the children, and anything else that I do.

[raleigh_mom]

Originally Posted by hsmomof4

We bought a third vehicle once the gas prices hit almost $3 a gallon driving around in Atlanta especially when everything is on the northside we got a 7 pass crossover vehicle that gets 26 mpg. We'll go back to using the 15 pass everyday if we have another one.

What did you find that got 26 mpg? We are about to get either a Kia Sedona or a Dodge Grand Caravan. I like that the Sedona has shoulder belts for 7.

We are currently not a large family - only 2 kids - but we are looking at adopting to add more. Thus the minivan. I'm also trying to learn to budget my time more efficiently and to become more organized around the house. The kids are taking the increase in chores right in stride.

What other advice can you give for preparing for a larger family? What should I do now while I have the time? What should I be stocking up on? And what do you wish you knew then that you know now?

[WrapHappy]

I am here!! were are having our 5th in March- I wish I could drive a bus that was a minivan- lol...

[WrapHappy]

by the way I don;t care so much what we drive as long as it has built in car seats!!! I love my builts in!!!

[orangefoot]

Originally Posted by raleigh_mom

What other advice can you give for preparing for a larger family? What should I do now while I have the time? What should I be stocking up on? And what do you wish you knew then that you know now?

In the house - storage and more storage. Then a table you can all sit around comfortably to eat, play, paint, do homework etc.

In your head - even if sometimes you feel that you don't have enough time for everybody; they all have each other

[Kidzaplenty]

What other advice can you give for preparing for a larger family?

Develop a good schedule early. I know many people don't like schedules. But for a large family, it makes everything run so much smoother. And it does not have to be a complicated schedule either. A basic "breakfast at 8, morning snack at 10, lunch at 12, afternoon snack at 3:30 supper at 6, tidy up at 7:30, and bed at 8-10 (depending on child's age)" was our first schedule.
This made it so easy for each of the children to know what to expect and when to expect it. I was very surprised, but it really worked wonders for us.

What should I do now while I have the time?

SLEEP!

What should I be stocking up on?

Towels, bedding, dishes (preferably kids safe ones, for me, that is corelle ware), and don't forget the camera and video recorder for all the pictures and home movies.

What do you wish you knew then that you know now?

Do your own research, and listen to your own instincts. The biggest regret that I have was that I listened to everyone else, especially my Mom, for how to deal with my oldest children.

[allye]

Hi there!
Good to know I am not the only one with a few kiddos! I have five myself ...and I thought I was done... but I have this sneaking nagging feeling that im not done...so im slowly trying to convince DH for one more... (I am so anal about not having round numbers of things LOL)

My oldest is 13, then there's 10,8,4, and 7 months

[mamanicki]

Just posting to sub. We have 7 kiddos, 3 are from my husband's previous marriage and they live with us during the week. It is amazing to me how full our house feels when we go from 4 to 7 every Sunday night! Anyway, I'll read back and try to catch up.

[Knittin' in the Shade]

subbing We've got 4 boys, aged 7.5 to 4 months. We're hoping to adopt 2 more someday (probably not for a few years, as we want to keep the birth order intact so we'll probably adopt a toddler when our youngest now is a preschooler)

Love the questions and ideas on this thread! The "roles" in our house break out into pretty traditional ones, I'd say: Dh works outside the home, and I work from home, running the household and running my design business as well. I do all the laundry, pretty much all the cooking and the day-to-day cleaning. Dh does dish duty after dinner, bathtime and bedtime routine with the older 3, helps with homeowrk, does all the yardwork, and cleans the kitchen from top to botto, every saturday (that's before he takes the older 3 out for the rest of saturday so I can get down in the studio and WORK!) We've got a good routine and balance, and I can't imagine doing the big family thing with a husband that wasn't helpful!

[orangefoot]

Originally Posted by allye

Hi there!
Good to know I am not the only one with a few kiddos! I have five myself ...and I thought I was done... but I have this sneaking nagging feeling that im not done...so im slowly trying to convince DH for one more... (I am so anal about not having round numbers of things LOL)

My oldest is 13, then there's 10,8,4, and 7 months

Ours are 13, 10 this month, 4 this month and 5 months today! We laugh because dh and I were born 73, ds1 in 93 andd dd1 in 2003 so its easy to work out how old everyone is!

Ds2 was born on my parents' 25th wedding anniversary and dd2 is just special

[Brisen]

Originally Posted by orangefoot

In your head - even if sometimes you feel that you don't have enough time for everybody; they all have each other

I'm starting to see this, even with just three. I'm very early pg with #4 and feeling tired and a bit crampy (and worried) this morning, so I was taking some time for myself to sit and read while the kids slept in a bit. M and S are awake now, and they were looking at a book together after M had her wake-up snuggle with me. He was pointing out colours in a book and she was repeating them back. Now they've taken out the train set and are building a track together. S is being very patient with her.

Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty

Develop a good schedule early.

I'm finding this really helps us, too. When I had one or two and they were very small, we could kind of go with the flow and do whatever, whenever. But even now, it helps so much if we follow a rhythm like this and I keep on top of things.

ETA: Haha, I've just looked over my post and realized that my two statements kind of contradict each other -- in one I say I'm letting the kids sleep in and we're just hanging out this morning and going with the flow, then I sing the praises of having a schedule. I'm still working on it! And sometimes, we do take a day off.

[nata0742]

i am an only child and always said i wanted loads of kids.....4.....and i am CRAVING another (baby is 4 mo and I would wait BUT DH who has 3 from prior marriage is done.......

i hear these bigger families and I feel i have more in me....that prob wont ever get a chance

[Blissful Bee]

Hey guys,
We currently have three, trying for # four. We would like to have five children, but I am going with the flow. I love reading about what you guys are doing and how you are working things. Im trying to find those secret systems that people have come up with to help with the chore side of life. We do have a family closet which has saved my life and my sanity, but Im excited to read about more ideas here.

We have a 2000 Expedition, but it only has four shoulder belts. It will work for us for a while as long as the littles are in car seats. So we are good there for a while. The gas mileage stinks on it, and I feel like a boob driving it around, but oh well, it's paid for and I might fill it up once a month, if that.

Anyway, glad to find you ladies, and I will continue reading on.....

[AngelBee]

Originally Posted by nata0742

i am an only child and always said i wanted loads of kids.....4.....and i am CRAVING another (baby is 4 mo and I would wait BUT DH who has 3 from prior marriage is done.......

i hear these bigger families and I feel i have more in me....that prob wont ever get a chance

[Lemon Juice]

We've got four! I really want five tho. But I had a baby each year, almost..so I'm done for now I think I'm ready to sit back and enjoy these four and let them grow before we have number five.

Dh says he does not want anymore..but won't get it taken care to not have babes anymore. He's sending so many mixed messages to me about it..I just dont know anymore. I feel I am NOT done..and want one more. I'm 26..and just really know I will crave and long for another baby one day. He actually had the nerve to tell me if I had one more it would not be w/ him! wtf? Nice, huh? But told me he didn't want to get the deed done (to him) b/c he might have kids one day w/ someone else if we ever broke up?? double wtf?!? Maybe I should post in another forum.....

[queenofhercastle]

Awww, nata! My heart goes out to you. I have a friend who has 3 grown children but she wanted 5. Her dh had a vasectomy after the third but like you she has always felt like she had 2 more in her that never got a chance...

[Kidzaplenty]

cldistefano, so sorry about your DH. I would be so angry at my DH if he made statements like that. I would also wonder why, since we both believe in marriage forever. But then again, that concept seems to be losing ground in todays society.


It's nice to see all the new faces. Can you all imagine if we all got together with all our children how many there would be? I think it would be great!

I am on another large family digest, and the average family has about 8 children with many having a dozen or more. We actually do have get togethers annually or more (I have never been, but I hear they are terrific). And the massive amount of children that are present are staggering! I so wish that I could go. Perhaps one day.

[queenofhercastle]

Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty

But then again, that concept [marriage forever] seems to be losing ground in todays society.

I know! It really is very sad.

Can you all imagine if we all got together with all our children how many there would be? I think it would be great!

I could only imagine! I don't see other large families often here where I live but I'm always excited when I do. So if there were a whole bunch of us all in one place I'd be really excited!

I am on another large family digest, and the average family has about 8 children with many having a dozen or more. We actually do have get togethers annually or more (I have never been, but I hear they are terrific). And the massive amount of children that are present are staggering! I so wish that I could go. Perhaps one day.

What other large family digest are you on? I would love to meet up with other large families every so often.

[Kidzaplenty]

Originally Posted by queenofhercastle

What other large family digest are you on? I would love to meet up with other large families every so often.

I am on the MOMYS (Mothers Of Many Young Siblings) digest, where the criteria to be accepted on the digest is that you have had at least four children under the age of 8 at some point in time. It is "normal" for a family to be having their 8th or 9th and four or five is considered a "small" family!

It's just really great to have such a community of large families (there are hundreds of families on the digest!) There are just so many things that are specific for raising large families, I have found this digest to be invaluable.

[Blissful Bee]

bump :-)