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tribe for large families/mamas of many kids? - Page 11

post #201 of 419

I'd love to hear about hs'ing with many children. I want it to work out BUT there are days when I wonder if I should send DD to school just so I can give the boys more attention. I feel like one-on-one time in near impossible for any of them now that #4 is here.
post #202 of 419
Originally Posted by Drummer's Wife View Post

I'd love to hear about hs'ing with many children. I want it to work out BUT there are days when I wonder if I should send DD to school just so I can give the boys more attention. I feel like one-on-one time in near impossible for any of them now that #4 is here.

Well, they don't get one-on-one time at school, that's for sure. It's hard meeting all of the needs, but I find they get more with a 1:4 ratio than a 1:20! I really like the tribe feeling of having kids of many different ages, they learn so much from each other and have so much fun together that I would feel sad sending one of them away. Sometimes I do think about getting more adults on board - either hiring an unschool nanny a couple days a week, or trying to somehow make friends with childless adults who like kids. One mama at home trying to do it all is NOT a tribe, but it sure beats school, IMO!
post #203 of 419
Originally Posted by hlivengo View Post
Both my dr and my dentist will only see 2 at a time. Just this week, I have 3 days of dr appts, to just get 6 of my 10 kids seen. It's a nightmare when they need more than one dental visit, too.
We just DON'T take our kids to the Dr., they were born at home and are healthy and we can weigh and measure them at home (the growth charts are online!) and we have diagnostic things like an otoscope, so we can take their healthcare into our own hands, it's very liberating!
post #204 of 419
We only have 2 that need dental app'ts so far. I remember my mom would make all 3 of us have appt's the same day. For this next round I had DH and dd2 at the same time. A few days later dd1 has her app't. I had to schedule around her school times.

I'm thinking about doc appt's too. dd4 will need her 2m appt in June and that's when dd3 will need her 2 yr app't. She needs to go to that because we are following her growth and severe food allergies. The older 2 need appt's because they each need one more vaccination. I just can't imagine trying to bring all 4 at once because I want the shots to go well for the older 2 (they've done so well in the past). And I know I will have a bunch of questions to ask with dd3. It's just hard to arrange my work schedule around the visits as we'd rather not take all 4 into the clinic if we don't have to.

How do you all do room arrangements? How many share a room? How do you do bed arrangements? Bunk beds? Lots of singles?
post #205 of 419
My last 2 were born at home but each subsequent birth has had all the siblings in attendence.

During my last birth my oldest was going to "catch" but things happened too fast. She did get to hold the baby even before I did. My #2 was the one to cut the cord for this birth too.

We drive a minivan and just got a suburban so now both our cars can seat the whole family and we can bring a "friend" in the suburban.

As for room arrangements...with only 4 and we co-sleep this is pretty easy.

We co-sleep fulltime with the 2 youngest. The baby sleeps in our bed and my 2yo sleeps on a twin bed at the foot of our king size. Basically one giant bed. Most nights he ends up next to my husband before morning.

My oldest 2 sleep in the room they share. They have bunks beds (that aren't bunked right now) but usually they sleep in one of the beds together.
post #206 of 419
Been a little while since I have been here, just thought I would pop in and say hi.

post #207 of 419
Originally Posted by Kidzaplenty View Post
Been a little while since I have been here, just thought I would pop in and say hi.

post #208 of 419
hi everyone, we have just 2 now but i love lurking on y0our tribe. i live in israel and follow a traditional jewish lifestyle - which includes ideally having lots of kids. i come from a more assimilated american family and am 1 of 2 so many kids is not so familiar territory for me. but anyway, i thought you'd find this funny, recently married friends were over at our house recently and while she comes from a more traditional family of 9 kids her hubby comes from a background like mine. he told us how when he was talking to his sister during his engagement abt his fiance he told her "sylvia wants to have a small family" sister asked for more details so he said "only 6 or 7 kids" : here we know alot of ppl with familyies of 12 or 13. I have 2 wonderful girls who come tohelp me out for an hour once a week one of them comes from a family of 16 on from a family of 13 (her mother is one of 20). i think america is such an anti child place (i left there at age 23 but was living there for 2 years again until last summer b/c of dh job) people make such rude comments and are so unhelpful it is unbeleivable.

anyway having 8 kids phases me less than does having 3, i feel like it is going to require a paradigm shift for me to have more kids that were in the family i was raised in. did any one experience that?
post #209 of 419
emily, care to post more about taking hteir health care into your own hands?
post #210 of 419
Thanks AngelBee! I needed a hug yesterday!

Life is always so busy. I am writing another book as well as designing my web site. Along with all the usually little things of large family life, like laundry that never seems to be done, dishes that are forever over flowing, school that has to be worked, meals that have to be prepared, and life that just has to be lived.

But I love it. It just leaves me little free time. Large families are the best!
post #211 of 419

This and That

First of all - love that comment about not wanting a big family - and she wants 6 or 7!


When we first visited our current church, one of my kids told someone we ONLY had 9 kids in our family! Boy did that get some eyebrows raised - the Sunday School teacher even welcomed us and told everyone about that comment! Everyone in the room laughed!

Kidzaplenty - your life sounds like my life! Laundry, dishes, laundry, dishes! I have the kids do many of the daily chores, but I haven't worked out having them do the laundry (well, the oldest 3 at home are required to do their own laundry - the challenge there is their being able to squeeze their's in between all my loads!). And I have each of the children over 8 do all the dishes one day a week, but that leaves me with 3 days still!

Spare time...that's a luxury around here, but I seem to find a little here and there - then it's a matter of narrowing down which of the many things I've neglected for so long to pick from!

But you know what - 20 years from now, my house will be filled with grandkids and I can't wait! I've heard people brag about having 8, 10, 12 grandkids - I could have so many we'll have to rent a church for Christmas Dinner!


I figured it out once - if all my kids are blessed like we are (10 children each), that means 20 children (counting spouses), and 100 grandkids! How about that - Christmas dinner for 122! Maybe if we charge admission, we could get rich! LOL!!

And how about having grandkids stay over night? I'll have to have 3 - 4 stay every night if each grandchild stays at our house one night every month!
That will be easy after having 9 kids overnight every night now, right?

Thought you guys might get a kick out of what I think about in my "Spare Time!"

Now go back to your family and dream of the fun your future holds!

post #212 of 419
If you could redesign your house: what would you change?

How would you design a laundry room?

Would you have a mud room? If so, how would you design it?

Just looking for organizational ideas for us as we get more kids.
post #213 of 419
mclisa ~ I would design a laundry room that was nice & large...with shelves for storing detergent & things, and with at least one very large table to set the clothes baskets on. I would also construct a way to store dirty laundry in an organized way. Dirty laundry is one of my biggest problems in the laundry room because I always have SO much of it & it ends up on the floor.

Another thing I would love is a porch or room of some kind that shoes could be stored in. Piles and piles of shoes are everywhere! I'd love a good way to organize them. And a place to hang coats.
post #214 of 419
I need some large pots! Where does everyone buy their industrial size cooking pots? I'm not seeing them at the regular stores. I've been using two large stock pots for every meal & I really want just one big one.
post #215 of 419
But you know what - 20 years from now, my house will be filled with grandkids and I can't wait! I've heard people brag about having 8, 10, 12 grandkids
motherhubbard ~ I'm excited about this too. I am loving the idea of having a lot of grandchildren and having holiday dinners with everyone. I plan on being very helpful and involved with my grandkids & having fun with them.

Even just visualizing my children as grown men and women is so exciting. I can't wait to see how they are!
post #216 of 419
Originally Posted by mama in the forest View Post
I need some large pots! Where does everyone buy their industrial size cooking pots? I'm not seeing them at the regular stores. I've been using two large stock pots for every meal & I really want just one big one.

maybe try googling it? or a restruant supply company?
post #217 of 419
My pots came from my Mom and my Grandma. My Mom bought a set of three from Sam's, I think. They are large chili pots. And my grandma was a canner so I ended up with her large canning pot. I use them almost daily.

What I can't seem to find is a large frying pan. I do not use coated pans as they are just no healthy and the coating always comes off into the food. So I use stainless steel. The largest one I have is 12 inches round and about 2 inches deep. I need one at least 4 inches deep. But I have been known to use my pots instead.

If I could find a better pan, I would be happy.
post #218 of 419
Are there any of you large family mommas who are we shall say income challenged? Dh and I have 4 but I would like more but we are below the federal poverty line and have already had several rude comments about our family size as it is, let alone any bigger. We are onfood stamps and medicaid, although in the last 8yrs. we have only needed the dentist 4x, the dr 5x and hospital care 3x. We paid for our own midwifery care, and try to handle non emergency medical care at home. In fact our visits to the dr have all been related to 2 seperate bouts of pneumonia and a dislocated elbow. My husband does work, we pay our bills, but do rely on the food stamps so I can stay home and homeschool. What gets me most is that if I were to put my kids in school and daycare to get off food stamps, the state would be paying twice the money. People have had the nerveto ask when my husband was getting a vasectomy. This is actualy painful to me. I worry about whether I am making the right choice to have a large family. :
post #219 of 419
Hello from another 'income challenged' family.

Life has been very hard, and we have had all the usual remarks from people. My circle of 'friends' has dwindled to none. My associations are limited to church folks that I meet with once a week and my internet associations. No one else agrees with our beliefs and our lifestyle.

My husband works hard, harder than most men I know, but his income is very low. We make well below the poverty line for a family of four, much less a family of nine. We have been on food stamps (which we signed up for when my husband was laid off of work for eight months) and never told anyone. It is not so much that I was ashamed of it, it is just the stereotypical thoughts that are associated with it. I have been told that large families only have more children so that they can have more benefits, and every other imaginable comment. And it hurts to know that without the FS money my children would have literally gone hungry yet people were judging me because I accepted it.

I keep my children on Medicaid, as well. This is 'insurance' for me. It was the very thing that saved us when my daughter had her accident four years ago. Her care for the first three weeks was in the five figure range and her continued care beyond that was insurmountable to us. Without Medicaid, we would never have had the options to care for her as we did. But other than that, we rarely go to the doctors. I have no problem keeping this for my children, no matter what others say. No one walks in my shoes, so I try and ignore their ignorant remarks, although at times it is hard.

We know what it is like to scrimp and scrape the bottom, but I think that has brought us a much clearer picture of those in need. I have found that so many Christians (especially those we go to church with) have no idea what it is really like to hurt for money. They find themselves 'hurting' when they can not buy this or that, or when they do not have enough money to go out to eat on. We 'hurt' when we can't pay our rent and have given up everything possible (cable, internet, cell phones, telephone, newspaper, and anything else that is not DIRE) and still can not pay for what our needs require (electric, water, trash pickup, and rent).

But I feel that God has placed us in this position to teach us. I don't believe I will ever be able to look at someone in need again and blow them off, or look at someone 'in need' of 'things' and feel concern. I have seen what 'real' needs are and will for all times be changed because of that.

I guess that is a bit more than you asked for. : Just know that you are not alone.
post #220 of 419
Thank you so much. I generally feel unashamed but lately it has been getting to me a little. Mainly envy, so I needed to hear from someone else. It really really means alot to know we aren't the only family. My husband also works very hard, but his income is low as well. When I told my sil that w/o FS we couldn't make it she said " then it is ridiculous for you to keep having babies. Anyone can keep popping them out, but if you can't feed them then you should make sure you don't keep having them" since she is a woman who never had children herself I wanted to explain to her that A) one rarely "pops" them out, it is usually a little more intense than that, andB)kiss my patoot. since she is single making $25 per/hr and always "broke" I felt there were way too many things to explain to ever get through to her. B: Any way, Iam in a way sorry to hear that you have been hurt as well. Philosophically, I wanted a large family so my kids would learn about sharing,cooperation, communication and love on a big scale; and depending on the day of the week I'd say it was working (now if i could only figure out cleaning, organizing and backtalk, my kids would be perfect ). Also, I had a rough childhood and an absentee dad, and what has gotten me through it was siblings, so in all seriousness, I wanted my kids to always have a built in support system. I had to take custody of my brother and sister when I was 19, and now my sister and I are raising my other sisters' infant son while she is incarcerated. That little boy nursed along side my son for the first 10 weeks of his life, and if it wasn't for siblings he would be in state custody. I realize I am ranting, and at the very least mildly off topic so I'll go, but thanks again.
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