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tribe for large families/mamas of many kids? - Page 18

post #341 of 419
I just wanted to say hi ladies! I don't have a big family yet (hoping #2 will be on the way sometime this year) but I plan on it DH is one of 7 (all in 10 years!) and I love hanging out with his siblings. Where I live I know many many big families (a 12, a few 11s, 10s, etc) and they're wonderful. We had trouble conceiving so I'm just hoping for 4 or 6 possibly but I will be here some day
post #342 of 419
Quote:
Originally Posted by christyc View Post
My favorite way to respond to the "don't you know what causes it" remark is to narrow my eyes and get that sexy look on my face and say:

"Well, first DH turns down the lights and turns on the magic... We light some candles, and put soft music on the radio. He looks at me; I look at him, and then.. Oh wait, you WEREN'T serious? Oh, sorry."
I must use this one next time.
post #343 of 419
I just gotta tell everyone:

OK, totally off topic, but I just HAD to say...











To day was my
EIGHTEENTH ANNIVERSARY!!!



I LOVE my DH!


An entire HALF of my LIFE has been spent married to the man now sleeping in my bed! I am so thrilled that I can say that!



And I only have had eight children to show for it.


I am going to have to work on that!
post #344 of 419

food storage

We're considering getting an extra freezer, but would an extra fridge make more sense? Thoughts anyone?
post #345 of 419
Happy Anniversary, Jenny!!

mclisa, our house came with an extra fridge/freezer combo in the garage. I thought it was kind of silly at the time, but WOW has is come in handy! I don't think I could live without it now. I put tons of the large stuff out there- frozen bread, frozen berries waiting to become jam, huge bags of garden veggies, watermelons, beer when I'm not pregnant , etc. It's great to have somewhere to stash all that big stuff!

I got "don't you know what causes that!?" with my third pregnancy even!! I like the simple one word "sex." answer . But I think I'll also use "a healthy love life", that sounds good, too. Or even just "love!"

babysx9, I was happy to see you in my DDC! You should post more!
post #346 of 419
Quote:
Originally Posted by mclisa View Post
We're considering getting an extra freezer, but would an extra fridge make more sense? Thoughts anyone?
We have two refridgerators and a deep freeze. I absolutely think it helps! We of course pretty much keep the extra ones full.
post #347 of 419
zjande, Thanks!
post #348 of 419
Well, I don't have a large family yet, but maybe someday I will. My DH and I both come from very large families. We just had our second child 3 1/2 wks ago. We've been married now for 3 years. We had 2 miscarriages in the beginning, so I didn't know if we'd ever have kids. Even if it doesn't seem like I'm ever going to get any order back in my life, I LOVE my kids.

Jenny, I had to write down that saying you had on one of your posts. It is so true.

The Bible calls debt a curse and children a blessing.
In our culture we apply for a curse and reject a blessing.
Something is wrong with this picture.
post #349 of 419
Hi i'm new here! But i have a big family, 5 Girls and i just found out i am pregnant with #6! Not really sure about having such a larger family [not that five isnt a lot b/c IT IS!], but after reading alll your posts i'm feeling a wee bit better.

I have five daughters and we already have bought an extra washer and dryer. Were moving into a bigger house so that the two oldest girls and the two middle girls and the two littlest kids can share a bathroom.
post #350 of 419
I have a question for you mamas of 4+ kids with at least one in the 7+ years old range...

How would you characterize your discipline style? Are you gentle discipline? Positive discipline? Something else?

How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?

I'm having some challenges with discipline right now and could really use some BTDT guidance. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.
post #351 of 419
Quote:
Originally Posted by christyc View Post
I have a question for you mamas of 4+ kids with at least one in the 7+ years old range...

How would you characterize your discipline style? Are you gentle discipline? Positive discipline? Something else?

How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?

I'm having some challenges with discipline right now and could really use some BTDT guidance. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.
My oldest is fast approaching 8. Things have gotten so much easier w/ him but since he's been in public school (Montessori for pre-K and K) some new challanges are emerging. Overall though he's a great kid and really responds well to positive discipline. He does have an angry streak that's reared its ugly head just since he's been in 1st grade. Occasionally we will send him to his room for quiet time when his temper flares.

Mine are all 2 years and some change apart so we usually just discipline the same for all but I'm noticing more and more that my oldest ds needs more verbal guidance than we were using in the past. We talk a lot about his actions and why certain behaviors aren't appropriate. Its really kind of cool the conversations we have now...sad too cause it means he's growing up.
post #352 of 419
Quote:
Originally Posted by christyc View Post
How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?
I would love to hear some honest responses to this as I have three girls 9, 4, and 18 months! I'm very curious. I try to be GD with my three, but I find that a lot of it gets very difficult the more children you have. (I find anyway) GDing with one child was so easy compared to this!
post #353 of 419
Well, I have #5 baking now (I'm only 4 1/2 weeks) and this morning DH & I discussed #6! I used to think 6 was my upper limit but since I now have 5...I dunno, the thought of only doing it once more after this makes me really sad. We'll see!
post #354 of 419
Quote:
Originally Posted by christyc View Post
I have a question for you mamas of 4+ kids with at least one in the 7+ years old range...How would you characterize your discipline style? Are you gentle discipline? Positive discipline? Something else? How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?I'm having some challenges with discipline right now and could really use some BTDT guidance. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.

We have always used respectful conflict resolution (without any punishments or rewards) and that helps keep everyone connected! I really enjoy my relationship with my children (especially my teenager). I think it's a bit more time-consuming to use a more positive/gentle approach but it pays off big-time in the long run.


Here are some wonderful parenting resources that I have enjoyed over the years:

http://www.connectionparenting.com/p...les/index.html (scroll down to parenting articles)

http://www.handinhandparenting.org/articles.html
(some great articles on supporting sibling friendships!)

http://www.naturalchild.org/home/

http://www.empathic-discipline.com

http://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/ptarticles.htm

http://www.naomialdort.com/

http://www.awareparenting.com/


Books:

Parent Effectiveness Training by Dr. Thomas Gordon
P.E.T. advocates a win/win approach which takes everyone's needs into account and seeks to find solutions where everyone's needs get met (parents and children). PET uses communication that is non-blameful and non-judgmental.

Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
This book is extremely helpful to understand your child's temperament and what they may be experiencing. Huge variety of excellent ways to avoid, calmly handle, and diffuse power struggles. Also by the same author is Raising Your Spirited Child.

Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen
"Play is children's way of exploring the world, communicating deep feelings getting close to those they care about, working through stressful situations, and simply blowing off steam". This is a wonderfully positive book that really focuses on connection with your children, and it was really inspiring -I've experienced more real fun and joy with my kids in the last few years since reading this!

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
A classic, in my opinion- very practical, do-able advice- easy to read and understand and apply. Not overly "spiritual" or heavy at all, has cartoon examples and exercises throughout. A perfect respectful discipline starter-book. I also like the companion book, for those with 2 or more children; Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and also by the same authors, Liberated Parents Liberated Children.

Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser.

There is also a wonderful book called "Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline That Will Make You a Better Parent and Your Child a Better Person" (detailed description here: http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/...art_love.shtml) that I highly recommend.
post #355 of 419
Emily-- thanks for your response! I have "Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles" that I checked out from the library last week. The others will make good future reading for sure. I just need some BTDT support and guidance from moms of older kids and big families since so much of the GD stuff I read addresses little kids and small families. Like Nature, I've found it's getting harder for me the older my kids get and the more I have.
post #356 of 419
Quote:
Originally Posted by christyc View Post
Like Nature, I've found it's getting harder for me the older my kids get and the more I have.
Yeah, those "middle years" are challenging around here too - but again, the cool thing I have found is that a strong and respectful connection in the early years (and sometimes just "waiting out" those middle years) makes for very enjoyable teenage years...
post #357 of 419
I am trying SO hard to keep a connection as you mentioned with the young ones so the middle years are easier. However, it seems the more problems we have with the middle years (my 12 year old) is making it harder to stay connected to my 9 year old. Even my 5 year old seems to react.

Worried
post #358 of 419
I am expecting baby #6 in Sept and I drive a 12 passenger Chevy Express on a 15 passenger wheelbase. I'll hopefully post a more complete intro later.
post #359 of 419
I'd love to hear about the bigger van options
post #360 of 419
ok I have to have to bump this thread up, I am a mama of 3 (also have a dsd who lives p/t w/ us) and desperately deciding to have #4 or not, I loved reading this whole thread and hope to ttc #4 soon despite being scared about $$$ time and patience!
lets get this thread rolling again!
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