Originally Posted by christyc
I have a question for you mamas of 4+ kids with at least one in the 7+ years old range...How would you characterize your discipline style? Are you gentle discipline? Positive discipline? Something else? How would you say having older and more kids has changed your discipline approach (if at all)? Any tips for those of us just now moving into the moms-of-many with older kids stage?I'm having some challenges with discipline right now and could really use some BTDT guidance. Thanks in advance to anyone who responds.
We have always used respectful conflict resolution (without any punishments or rewards) and that helps keep everyone connected! I really enjoy my relationship with my children (especially my teenager). I think it's a bit more time-consuming to use a more positive/gentle approach but it pays off big-time in the long run.
Here are some wonderful parenting resources that I have enjoyed over the years:http://www.connectionparenting.com/p...les/index.html
(scroll down to parenting articles)http://www.handinhandparenting.org/articles.html
(some great articles on supporting sibling friendships!)http://www.naturalchild.org/home/http://www.empathic-discipline.comhttp://www.alfiekohn.org/parenting/ptarticles.htmhttp://www.naomialdort.com/http://www.awareparenting.com/
Parent Effectiveness Training by Dr. Thomas Gordon
P.E.T. advocates a win/win approach which takes everyone's needs into account and seeks to find solutions where everyone's needs get met (parents and children). PET uses communication that is non-blameful and non-judgmental.
Kids, Parents, and Power Struggles by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka
This book is extremely helpful to understand your child's temperament and what they may be experiencing. Huge variety of excellent ways to avoid, calmly handle, and diffuse power struggles. Also by the same author is Raising Your Spirited Child.
Playful Parenting by Lawrence J. Cohen
"Play is children's way of exploring the world, communicating deep feelings getting close to those they care about, working through stressful situations, and simply blowing off steam". This is a wonderfully positive book that really focuses on connection with your children, and it was really inspiring -I've experienced more real fun and joy with my kids in the last few years since reading this!
How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish
A classic, in my opinion- very practical, do-able advice- easy to read and understand and apply. Not overly "spiritual" or heavy at all, has cartoon examples and exercises throughout. A perfect respectful discipline starter-book. I also like the companion book, for those with 2 or more children; Siblings Without Rivalry by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish and also by the same authors, Liberated Parents Liberated Children.
Becoming the Parent You Want to Be by Laura Davis and Janis Keyser.
There is also a wonderful book called "Smart Love: The Compassionate Alternative to Discipline That Will Make You a Better Parent and Your Child a Better Person" (detailed description here: http://www.childdevelopmentinfo.com/...art_love.shtml
) that I highly recommend.