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7 year old with very mean teacher, what do I do?!!!

post #1 of 71
Thread Starter 
My 7 year old is in the first grade at a public school and does not like her teacher. I happened to have had the SAME teacher as her in the same grade as her 20 years ago when I was 6. She is still teaching! And not really even old. She is very hateful and sarcastic with the kids. I hated her when I had her, I mean I just hated her! She used to tell me I was nasty, when someone would tell on me for doing silly kid things. Like once I was drawing on myself and someone told on me and this same teacher told me "that's because she is a nasty, disgusting little girl" I still remember this and it still hurts.

I never let on to my DD that this teacher was mean, never told her a bad thing about her.

So, now DD is coming to me telling me means things this teacher does and says. We were in a terrible car accident in May, where my DD recieved a head injury, my husbands arm was amputated (they saved his arm, no use) anyways, dd saw my husbands arm off after the accident and had a head injury too (shes fine now, just needed lots of staples) but all this has caused my DD to have some serious anxiety issues, Im thinking maybe she has some sort of panic disorder. She is in therapy.

Here is the story my dd told me, my dd is a very honest child and would never ever lie.
So.. this teacher stapled the kids papers at the end of the day she handed dd her stapled papers and my dd reached for them and realized that one of the staples wasnt fully in the paper and had the sharp end sticking out which stuck into her finger and was bleeding, my dd ran frantically back up to the teachers desk and told her. My dd told me that she was very scared that she saw blood and felt her heart racing about it My dd said she told the teacher "look, please help me, the staple stuck in me and made me bleed, please help!" The teacher stood up and yelled (as my dd said) and said
very loudly "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? CALL 911?????????? She then told everyone "I THINK WERE GOING TO HAVE TO CALL 911 BECAUSE M GOT HER POOR WITTLE FINGER HURT BOO HOO" My dd says all the kids started laughing. Edited to add this the teacher ended up telling dd to go sit back down and lick her finger clean! She said "just lick the tip of your finger and sit down"

My dd came home telling me all of this in tears. She told me when she cut her finger and saw blood that she was terrified and felt dizzy and her heart raced and she was scared and the teacher didn't care. Just embarassed her.

Also earlier before this dd said they had a fire drill and while outside a boy took his elbow and elbowed her in her side and she felt like she couldnt breathe he did it so hard, she ran up to the teacher and told her. The teacher yelled "well he might have done that but your being annoying for tattling so you BOTH go to the back of the line"

Im VERY VERY upset about the way the teacher handles thing and even more upset that she embarasses my dd. I mean I am so upset that I want to call her up and tell her off (i wont though) What I am going to do is call her and try to be civil and work this out.

My dd comes home so sad everyday. This teacher is always doing something! It's the same as it was 20 years ago for me when I was in her class in the first grade.

How should my conversation go? I want to be snarky so bad and tell her that I don't appreciate her embarassing my dd about the 911 thing!

Tell me how should I approach her about this? What should I say?
post #2 of 71
I wouldn't even speak to this teacher (what a horrid, horrid person!) -I'd document the incident in writing and report it to the principal. I'd also obtain a letter from the therapist that your daughter is in treatment for anxiety because of her trauma and give that to the principal. Adult on child bullying is no more acceptable than child on child bullying! This horrible teacher is creating the dynamic where other children in class now have permission to pick on your dd, since the teacher does it herself. I would demand the principal follow up with me about how they intend to discipline this teacher-this sort of thing is completely unacceptable! to you and your daughter!

oh, and I forgot to say in my anger that I would also tell the principal that I expected my daughter to be transfered to a new teacher immediately.

You could also approach other parents in the class to see if they've had similar problems-then you could all sign a letter together.
post #3 of 71
Is there any way to take her out of the class, school, etc? Private school or homeschool for this year? It just sounds to me like trying to bring this to attention of the teacher could backfire on your daughter by making her even more targeted by the NASTY teacher. I remember my 5th grade teacher so clearly because she was just so mean to me... highly inapproprate... and it was DAMAGING! It breaks my heart to hear of your little girl suffering because of the teacher. She certainly is not going to be focused, confident, and accidemically excited if she is always worried about the teacher that does not like her, worried about the results of asking for help or asking a questions, etc. Homeschooling or private schooling for one year will not make a huge dent in the grand of things.. but it may make a world of difference for her self confidence and education interest.

Other than that - super intendant? Go OVER head... follow the chain of command up, not even bothering approaching the teacher herself.
post #4 of 71
Get your dd removed from her class, now. ( I personally wouldn't send my own child to her one more day).It is your parental obligation to protect your children. I assume that there is at least one other class your dd could attend so she'd have a different teacher. If the principle is unwilling to make this change for you, I suggest you consider pulling her out of school and homeschooling her, at least until other arrangement could be made. I admit I am a homeschooling mom myself, but I think keeping her in that classroom all day for the next year could cause her further emotional damage. I am sorry that your family experienced such a horrible car accident- hugs to you all. I hope you can get this school situation under control without further damage to your dd.
post #5 of 71
what a sad situation. I agree, don't even try to deal with the teacher. At least switch to a new teacher. I wouldn't leave my dc is such a situation.

Crazy how the bad teachers seem to never die. dd's K teacher actually replaced her own K teacher.
post #6 of 71
This breaks my heart! Definitely get her out of that class, and file a complaint with the board of education in your area as well as with the principal of the school. Is there another class in the 1st grade that she can join...and if not, another school nearby that she can transfer to? If it were my daughter I probably would confront the teacher myself, tell her that she completely humiliated my child and that she had no right talking to any child that way. I am sure if she is treating your dd that way, then she treats other children the same. How sad. I had a horribly mean 1st grade teacher who would humiliate me all the time...hugs to you and your family. Be sure to get her out of there; your daughter needs to know that this is not ok and not something you will tolerate. I think it is so important for our children to see us standing up for them.
post #7 of 71
I went through this with ds in 3rd grade. I actually ended up removing him from the class, though the school tried to convince me that my ds needed to *get over it* and that he would meet people in life he doesnt get along with and needed to get used to dealing with it! A 8 year old! OMG come on people! My ds is a very sensitive child and I threatened to go to the board of education if they didnt swap teachers, and they complied. Fight for your dc!
post #8 of 71
If I were you, then I would have her transferred out of the class immediately. Either find another teacher in the same grade or take her to another school, either public or private. When I was approaching fourth grade, there was one teacher who had a similar reputation of being a mean old lady. My mother told me that there was no way that she would let me be in that woman's class. BTW, I returned to that elementary school 15 years later, and she was still there. I guess that the mean ones last the longest. Anywho, I am hoping for hte best with dd.
post #9 of 71
Just a touch of support - I just pulled my son out of school because his teachers were being cruel to him. (((((((((support))))))))
post #10 of 71
Ditto what everyone said about transferring to another class at the same school, a different school, or homeschooling. Also it is the school administration's job to arbitrate conflicts between parents and teachers, and you need whatever forms and paperwork rigmarole they fill out to really document what is going on. Unrecorded conversations between you and the teacher not in front of a school administrator could easily turn into 'she said-she said' and that won't help your dd.

In your documentation about the bullying way this teacher treats your dd, you might want to consider that this teacher is perhaps already prejudiced against your daughter because she knows *you* are her parent, and she is extending her bullying into the second generation on purpose. Maybe sounds paranoid or even evil, but I know a teacher in one of my schools treated my younger brother extremely poorly (until our parents withdrew him from the school entirely) because I had managed to get out of her class when I was in that grade level. Small minded retribution, unbelievable but it can make a kid's life miserable. As you know. Anyway, just the fact that the teacher is repeating the behavior she subjected you to 20 years ago might be enough to have your daughter transfered to another class.

Hugs mama! Your dd needs you to help her out! (And I would *bet* this is not the first time the school administration has heard something negative about this teacher ... )
post #11 of 71
Go directly to the principal and demand that a) this teacher's unprofessional and cruel behavior be addressed and b) that your child be switched immediately to another class.

Don't even talk to the teacher. Take it to the top.
post #12 of 71


get her OUT of there ASAP. It really is true, the old mean hag teachers never do die! Last year my son had a hag in the making for his kindergarden teacher, who told me my son ate like a slob and her aid told me he isnt creative when i said he was at home, she said he only dose what he wants when he wants...they created a serious label for my son, who btw, is not returning to that school this year, im paying for him to go to a private school where there will be 9 kids in his class. lets hope this will address my issues. cause if not, next year im on the homeschooling train.
file a complaint with EVERYONE you can about that teacher, also I have a neighbor who works in the school office and they called my sons teacher miss.hitler. scarey huh?
post #13 of 71
I agree - get her out. Homeschool if necessary. If you do go to talk to the principal I think you need to offer as many specific examples as you can and make it clear that especially given your daughter's anxieties she can't function in this classroom. I'd say to get any kid out of there but especially with a kid with anxiety this isn't optional or negotiable. It has to happen and now.
post #14 of 71
Absolutely take her out. Call the principal immediately about the unprofessional behavior of this teacher. If the principal is unwilling to cooperate go to the school board. If the board is uncooperative, round up all the parents you know and petition to have this teacher removed from the classroom.

In our district a child can be suspended for verbal abuse and bullying. I see no reason why a teacher can't be held to the same standards.
post #15 of 71
I believe that what she did to your dd is criminal! Go straight to the principal but be prepared for the teacher to lie and make everything sound like your dd fault. I bet she will lie straight to your dd face. If the principal refuses to do anything, pull her from school and go over his or her head to the school board. Make a big stink about it. Chances are if you remember her being awful and she was awful to your dd, there are lots of other parents who think she is awful too.
post #16 of 71
How should my conversation go? I want to be snarky so bad and tell her that I don't appreciate her embarassing my dd about the 911 thing!

Tell me how should I approach her about this? What should I say?

And if this is not feasible, immediately inform the principal and make a few things clear:

1. That unless she is reprimanded and a letter is put into her personnel file, you will be contacting the district administrator,

2. That you want your child transferred out of this woman's class now.
post #17 of 71
Maybe this is me, but I'd be contacting the local paper/news for them to do a human interest story on how safe their kids are while in school (ya know, tonight at 5- bullying at school- it's not what you're thinking. Some TEACHERS may be bullying your child...) With that sort of pressure the school district will be forced to take some action to get that teacher RETRAINED. She needs counselling to learn how to appropriately deal with kids. And yes, def don't send your child back until they are going into a different classroom.
post #18 of 71
Oh that is awful. I just feel for your daughter. I would document everything, talk to the princapal and I would have her moved out of the class immedately. If you don't she will never be able to get what she needs out of the class. Your poor daughter,
post #19 of 71
You go right to the principal and tell him that your dd will be removed from that teacher immediately. You will then file an incident report with the principal and the superintendent. You have to be your childs advocate. If you do not make an issue the school will try to brush it under the rug.
post #20 of 71
I had a horrible first grade teacher as well (a lady who was later 'comitted.' She hated children and teaching caused her to crack up) When my ds got a teacher just like her, I pulled him out and put him in another first grade class. We made a fresh start, and even got him a new backpack and lunchbox.
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