7 year old with very mean teacher, what do I do?!!! - Page 4

[Tanibani]

I have not read every single reply.

I did like Oregongirlie's post on how to handle this with the principal. Bring your husband to every meeting if possible (as a witness.)

My friend went through a similar situation last year with her DD in K. My friend is a teacher, volunteered in the class, kept quiet, but did not like what she saw. At first she didn't want to take her DD out because she didn't want her DD to feel she could "work the system." I said nonsense! Even adults need help dealing with difficult people, children are defenseless! Nobody should be put through that.

Thankfully she talked to our preschool director (very AP, knowledgeable about brain research yada, yada...) and the Director set her straight.... My friend came back to me crying...

1. She told her to get your DD out right now. (She met with the principal that week. My friend did not want to be confrontational and she did not attack the teacher directly. She said "all the right things.")

Principal gave her the same line "She's a very experienced teacher... we've never had problems." (BULL!!! A preschool teacher I know had her daughter there 8 years ago and the mom felt that she should have retired then.)

My friend was the first to pull her daughter out. Later on, 4 others tried and they were stuck. The principal just said "it was a personality conflict" or something to that effect. Absolutely horrendous.

2. The preschool Director STRONGLY URGED my friend to TAKE IT TO THE BOARD TO GET HER OUSTED. She said she HAD TO do this to protect other helpless children. My friend was in tears because she was afraid that she, her children and family would be branded in the District as trouble-makers, so she didn't want to do that.

If it were ME, I would have gone to the board.

I would want there to BE A RECORD of what was going on, so THE NEXT poor soul would have it easier... or better yet, the witch could be taken out.

[lissabob]

Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie

Okay after reading all the posted I got all fired up. I contacted the principal at home and talked with him. He says to me "weve never had a problem with Mrs. D, she has taught in our school for 21 years and is wonderful with children, perhaps your DD has other issues that is causing this?" I let him know that I wanted something done, I wanted her out of the class. He said he didn't think that was necessary.

So, what if they won't change her and the teacher finds out I called and she torments my DD all school year? Im so scared! I can't homeschool, I don't even have a highschool diploma!!

TOTALLY different situation but, I want to share (even only having read the 2nd page).
When I was in 5th grade I was playing slamball and my glasses got knocked off my face and one of the lenses about popped out. It was all tilted and blind as I am it was NOT something I could go through the rest of the day dealing with. I went to the school office to ask if I could call my dad to have him pick me up. I was told because they weren't COMPLETELY broke I couldn't and to go back to recess. : I walked out of the office with my friend, went 10 feet down the hall, popped the lense out and went back in. I asked if I could call NOW: (yes, in a snotty tone lol) and when I told my dad what happened all HELL broke loose. I can't tell you exactly what was said, but that secretary got an EARFUL, and I got an apology. My dad was my hero that day. : Seeing him stick up for me meant SO much, even at that age. And I got to giggle at him being so mad and the funny things he said as we drove home.
Point being, don't back down. And let your dd KNOW that you're fighting for her to have a safe learning enviornment. Even if she can't tell you now, I promise you, even 20 years from now, she will remember and thank you for it.

[eloquence]

Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie

My 7 year old is in the first grade at a public school and does not like her teacher. I happened to have had the SAME teacher as her in the same grade as her 20 years ago when I was 6. She is still teaching! And not really even old. She is very hateful and sarcastic with the kids. I hated her when I had her, I mean I just hated her! She used to tell me I was nasty, when someone would tell on me for doing silly kid things. Like once I was drawing on myself and someone told on me and this same teacher told me "that's because she is a nasty, disgusting little girl" I still remember this and it still hurts.

I never let on to my DD that this teacher was mean, never told her a bad thing about her.

So, now DD is coming to me telling me means things this teacher does and says. We were in a terrible car accident in May, where my DD recieved a head injury, my husbands arm was amputated (they saved his arm, no use) anyways, dd saw my husbands arm off after the accident and had a head injury too (shes fine now, just needed lots of staples) but all this has caused my DD to have some serious anxiety issues, Im thinking maybe she has some sort of panic disorder. She is in therapy.

Here is the story my dd told me, my dd is a very honest child and would never ever lie.
So.. this teacher stapled the kids papers at the end of the day she handed dd her stapled papers and my dd reached for them and realized that one of the staples wasnt fully in the paper and had the sharp end sticking out which stuck into her finger and was bleeding, my dd ran frantically back up to the teachers desk and told her. My dd told me that she was very scared that she saw blood and felt her heart racing about it My dd said she told the teacher "look, please help me, the staple stuck in me and made me bleed, please help!" The teacher stood up and yelled (as my dd said) and said
very loudly "WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO? CALL 911?????????? She then told everyone "I THINK WERE GOING TO HAVE TO CALL 911 BECAUSE M GOT HER POOR WITTLE FINGER HURT BOO HOO" My dd says all the kids started laughing. Edited to add this the teacher ended up telling dd to go sit back down and lick her finger clean! She said "just lick the tip of your finger and sit down"

My dd came home telling me all of this in tears. She told me when she cut her finger and saw blood that she was terrified and felt dizzy and her heart raced and she was scared and the teacher didn't care. Just embarassed her.

Also earlier before this dd said they had a fire drill and while outside a boy took his elbow and elbowed her in her side and she felt like she couldnt breathe he did it so hard, she ran up to the teacher and told her. The teacher yelled "well he might have done that but your being annoying for tattling so you BOTH go to the back of the line"

Im VERY VERY upset about the way the teacher handles thing and even more upset that she embarasses my dd. I mean I am so upset that I want to call her up and tell her off (i wont though) What I am going to do is call her and try to be civil and work this out.

My dd comes home so sad everyday. This teacher is always doing something! It's the same as it was 20 years ago for me when I was in her class in the first grade.

How should my conversation go? I want to be snarky so bad and tell her that I don't appreciate her embarassing my dd about the 911 thing!

Tell me how should I approach her about this? What should I say?

I would pull my child out so fast their head would spin. What are the homeschooling laws in your state?

[eloquence]

Originally Posted by sweetangelbrynlie

Okay after reading all the posted I got all fired up. I contacted the principal at home and talked with him. He says to me "weve never had a problem with Mrs. D, she has taught in our school for 21 years and is wonderful with children, perhaps your DD has other issues that is causing this?" I let him know that I wanted something done, I wanted her out of the class. He said he didn't think that was necessary.

So, what if they won't change her and the teacher finds out I called and she torments my DD all school year? Im so scared! I can't homeschool, I don't even have a highschool diploma!!

You can homeschool without a highschool diploma.

YOU ARE BEST FOR YOUR CHILD.

[Viewfinder]

Here is what I did...

fftt

[Milvudeeshna]

I had an absolute terror for a first grade teacher, as well. Please, please, either insist that she be switched to a better teacher or pull her out and homeschool her for the year. Like you, I still remember the insults and slights from that one horrible teacher all these many years later. :

[rharr!]

Your poor daughter. What a horrible teacher.
I would not send my child back to that kind of abuse. A teacher has a lot of impact on children.

Of course you can homeschool, what you dont know you can learn. Its not so hard once you get going.
Otherwise a change in schools or teacher is definetaly not too much to ask.
Oh and I would tear a strip of the teacher. I dont care if that is immature, but I would make her feel like a pile of diahrea.

[Pinkdiva]

I am so glad to hear that you got a good resolution to your story. I pulled my kiddos out to homeschool them, because I couldn't see them learning anything beyond reading and math. There is so much more out there.

[eloquence]

Did I miss the OP's update?

[bobica]

i don't think so- any updates?

[Flor]

I am a teacher, too. We had a similar situation with dss's 3rd grade teacher. The lady was crazy and would yell at the kids all the time. The class was noisy, but dss is a good kid and follows the rules and has really never been yelled at before so this was shocking to him. He was dreading going to school about 2 weeks into the year. I talked to the teacher, who assured me that she NEVER yelled (we heard her at Back to School Night, though, so we have different definitions of yelling). I talked to the principal just to get a feel about our options. She wanted to wait it out a little . Then, the teacher started saying things to the class like, "Sure, you can all run to the principal and tell on me, but you still need to be quiet," etc, looking right at dss. I called the principal again and again (maybe 4 times total). Finally, they moved him. I though it was pointless to talk to the teacher after the first incident because it became obvious that it was a personality difference between us and her. We don't like our kid yelled at, she doesn';t think she yells. Apparently NO ONE has ever complained, but that doesn't surprise me.

1. Clearly ask what the rules are for moving kids to other classes. What is the process and if you want to tdo it, how do you start?

2. If you are not happy with the principal's answer, set up a meeting with the superintendent. Do not drop it. In our case, the teacher finally asked the principal to move him because she said she didn't want to deal with us and "tarnish" her name.

3. Do not feel bullied by the school. I am AMAZED by how many parents don't get what they want, because they don't ask (or, only ask once!)

4. Do not let your child stay in a classroom where she is not comfortable. She won't learn!!!