(Oops....didn't realize there were multiple pages! thought I was coming in on page one. Needless to say, I haven't read all responses. I'm going to leave this, but apoligize if it is repetitive, out of place, obsolete, etc.)
My two cents. The issue is whether or not you can or even want to salvage the friendship, the nannying issue, which at $400 a month is an 'arrangement between friends', not an employment arrangement is second and comes into play only if it is based on your friendship. (Hope that makes sense) In other words, if the two of you are not friends, I would highly advise against nannying for her, the whole arrangement just sounds like a recipe for disaster...if you want the experiance, I'm sure it would be easy to find someone to jump at the opporitunity for a full time nanny for $400 per month!
I'm sorry this happened, and a bit surprised...if religious affiliation was that important to her, you would think she would have made a point of inquiring before offering you the arrangement. That said, while I agree that the discrimination aspect of it is unfortunate, I can kind of see her point. Religion, by definition, is for many people at the core of their being effecting both who they are and how they are. I come kinda from the other side in that I am agnostic but I would definately be uncomfortable leaving my children in the care of someone who I thought could be directly or indirectly 'feeding' my children a religious message (not saying that is the case here). For young children who are so inquisitive and so observant, I think they are very intuned not only to what we do as adults, but also to the 'why's' that motivate us, and our religious beliefs can be a major part of that.
That being said, I do not care what a persons religion is, what I care about is the way a person is and their level of intellectual honesty. Provided that I trust that if my child were to ask (or observe) why...(why are some people mean, why does it rain, why do we celebrate Easter, etc.) that the person would respond in a way that recognizes the complexity of the questions and that different people have different beliefs and different motivations, etc., I would not be concerned what their formal belief system was. If on the other hand, when my child asked why are some people mean, my expectation was that they be taught some people are mean because [fill in the blank], then the belief system of the appointed 'caregiver' becomes very important.
My two cents. The issue is whether or not you can or even want to salvage the friendship, the nannying issue, which at $400 a month is an 'arrangement between friends', not an employment arrangement is second and comes into play only if it is based on your friendship. (Hope that makes sense) In other words, if the two of you are not friends, I would highly advise against nannying for her, the whole arrangement just sounds like a recipe for disaster...if you want the experiance, I'm sure it would be easy to find someone to jump at the opporitunity for a full time nanny for $400 per month!
I'm sorry this happened, and a bit surprised...if religious affiliation was that important to her, you would think she would have made a point of inquiring before offering you the arrangement. That said, while I agree that the discrimination aspect of it is unfortunate, I can kind of see her point. Religion, by definition, is for many people at the core of their being effecting both who they are and how they are. I come kinda from the other side in that I am agnostic but I would definately be uncomfortable leaving my children in the care of someone who I thought could be directly or indirectly 'feeding' my children a religious message (not saying that is the case here). For young children who are so inquisitive and so observant, I think they are very intuned not only to what we do as adults, but also to the 'why's' that motivate us, and our religious beliefs can be a major part of that.
That being said, I do not care what a persons religion is, what I care about is the way a person is and their level of intellectual honesty. Provided that I trust that if my child were to ask (or observe) why...(why are some people mean, why does it rain, why do we celebrate Easter, etc.) that the person would respond in a way that recognizes the complexity of the questions and that different people have different beliefs and different motivations, etc., I would not be concerned what their formal belief system was. If on the other hand, when my child asked why are some people mean, my expectation was that they be taught some people are mean because [fill in the blank], then the belief system of the appointed 'caregiver' becomes very important.
Puh-leeeeeze stay away from this close-minded psycho. You don't deserve to be treated that way. I know you can find better friends than this.
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It doesn't surprise me because it's not the first time nor the last that a Christian has decided to ignore the "judge not lest ye be judged" or "remove the log from your eye before removing the speck from your brother's eye" portions of the New Testament 
I think you SHOULD teach her child not to be a judgemental lout (as a pp mentioned) if you ever do get the chance though 
As long as you're responsible and a good mother then why would it matter what religion you are? You even specified that you weren't going to be trying to convert her child to paganism... sheesh. Some people 
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