Teens and Hygiene!! GRRR!!!

[mom2kasey]

I am a mother of 4 (twins=20, son=17 and son 19mo.) and have always had a problem getting my 17 year old son to practice good hygiene. I have never had a problem with my older daughters and my little one loves to take a bath and brush his teeth at this current time. BUT my now 17 year old has never wanted to take a bath, clean his ears, brush his teeth or use under are deotorant. His teeth look really nasty and his ears get full of wax. I litterly have to corner him and make him do something. My husband locks the two of them in the bathroom and he... well washes his a**. And it does not seem to bother him at all. This is a big, big, big problem and I don't know what to do with him anymore. I feel like I should not have to clean up my 17 year old. His room smells. Again, I have to kick him out of the room and clean it too. :

My 17 year old says it is too much work to do that. He is very lazy!

Anyone else out there with a hygiene troubled teen? What is your secret to getting to them and getting things cleaned up? :

[Beeblebrox]

Well, I thought of a couple of things. First, I'd have your son checked for depression. Apathy about ones own physical hygiene can be a symptom of it. Socially, does he get harrassed for this? Does he have or has he had a girlfriend or boyfriend?

Second, is your husband literally bathing him? I think that is something that needs to stop right now. Unless your 17 year old is mentally incapable for some reason, that cannot be helping his psyche and I find it to be very strange.

[Pynki]

Originally Posted by Snooter

Well, I thought of a couple of things. First, I'd have your son checked for depression. Apathy about ones own physical hygiene can be a symptom of it. Socially, does he get harrassed for this? Does he have or has he had a girlfriend or boyfriend?

Second, is your husband literally bathing him? I think that is something that needs to stop right now. Unless your 17 year old is mentally incapable for some reason, that cannot be helping his psyche and I find it to be very strange.

:

All that.

[mom2kasey]

No DH does not literally bath him. He will make sure that he does actually get in the shower and not just let the water run. After he is done, DH does pull out q-tips, tooth paste and tooth brush and have DS use these items to insure that he has been completely cleaned. DH explains to DS that you MUST clean yourself or you will get some type of infection. He has a bad complexion and DH also has him wash is face with some medicated face wash to help clear up some really bad scalely flakes around his nose. This tends to get infected if it is not cleaned really good from time to time. This does not hurt him and he looks so nice when he is all cleaned up. This is normally the procedure that is taken if we are going somewhere that is really nice and we have to dress up for the occassion. This saves him from some of the comments that are made either to him or myself. I feel bad for him when people comment on his appearance. He is a good looking kid and I think that he deserves to be seen that way by others. It is funny because the girls chase after him when he is clean and fresh. And I know he likes girls for sure! It is not hard to tell when a 17 year old drulls over girls. He tells he dad how hot they are.

Yes, people do comment on his dirtiness and my son just says SO. It does not bother him at all. He has had girl friends and one recently he just broke up with after a year. But she would make him bath and she would wash his hair in the sink and shave his face. She would tell him that she liked it when he was nice and fresh. He would just laugh and go with it.

He has been tested and has seen a psychiatrist(sp?) and other than ADHD he is all normal. He just does not like to clean up. He will be 18 in 6 months and I am hoping that by the time he is 18 that he will take some pride in himself and will want to make a better impression. People at this point just expect the dirty/stinky/discusting ears/teeth. They laugh and make fun of him. I have also heard/seen people identify him as being dumb just by the way he looks.

Apperance is everything! I just can't wait until people see him that way! I hope for the day that he shows the world what he is really made up of. Under all that dirt/stink he is a good looking kid!

I was just looking for some tips from someone that may have dealt with this at this age. I know that teens do go through a stage but I was also under the impression that it would be over by now.

[Beeblebrox]

Well, having read more of that, is it possible that you two just have different standards? I mean I can't know for sure because I can't see him and I only have your side of the story to go on. Sometimes moms just have different standards for their teenage sons than the sons do themselves. kwim? If it really isn't bothering him, and it doesn't seem to be affecting him socially, then it's just something he has to deal with on his own.

The only leverage you have here is that he is living under your roof. If you feel like his room is a mess and he's literally adding a new "scent" to the house, you are well within your right to ask that it change. What boundries you'd be willing to set up are up to you and your husband of course.