energy flow

[Kanga@work]

This is my second pregnancy and I haven't spent alot of time directing my thoughts to this new child. I started a yoga class to devote some time for this and had an interesting observation .... I am wondering if any of you have had similar experiences.

At the beginning of the class we get comfortable and focus on releasing built up energy in our bodies, bringing our minds to the present, etc... I was seeing the energy flow in my body as a thick golden fog swirling about. We were guided to breathe into the areas of our bodies where there was tension and use that flow to soothe it away. At some point I could see the flow throughout my entire body and there was a very distinct void in my uterus. Not really a void, but that it wasn't apart of myself... like my body ended there the same way that it ended on the outside. Energy was swirling around it, but not through it.

We relax again at the end of the class and this time I could breathe into the uterus. The baby was also moving alot and I got a big contraction when I stood up from the pose.

Where does your energy go? Have you noticed if your baby is apart of your energy flow or are they already separate from you?
How do you visualize the energy in your body?

[ComaWhite]

Wow, I love this place and being able to talk about things like this without sounding like a nut!
I first experienced this when I started bleeding at 8.5w. I spend 2 days in bed, depressed, thinking that I was losing the baby. I was *sure* I had lost it. I felt this way because Try as I might, I could not visualize the baby, and yes it felt like a void there.

There is not other word to explain it, *void* is what it feel like down there. Sometimes it scares the heck out of me, I feel like I cant connect or mentally check on the baby. It feels like nothing, so I assume somethings wrong...

I suppose its a realization that hasn't quite hit me yet. I have to understand, *really get it...* that the baby is not *mine* it does not "belong to me" it is not just an extension of my body..... I think I have to really try to focus on that he/she is their own little person and I have to respect that, respect their body and their own space.... Respect her/his energy and accept that sometimes he/she will block me out... and that's ok...
Hmm, the baby is not comming from me, it is comming through me. Make sense?
But I always get a few love bumps and kicks to remind me that Im still loved and still a huge part of all of this...

I have a lot to learn...
I hope this makes sense..... and relates to what you are feeling.

[Kanga@work]

Yes, I was worried about it at first too until I felt the baby moving about at the end of the class. I was really surprised by it I guess. I don't think I realized this sort of sensation when I was pregnant with my son... but maybe I never tried to.

I really like how you mention that sometimes we don't have access to that space... other times the baby may invite us in. I wonder if the void we see, presented by the baby is a defensive thing. I took the class right after work. Maybe the baby doesn't enjoy the energy that flows in me while I'm busy at work, and the more positive, concious energy of the yoga class allowed her to open up for interaction. It was a safer environment to step out into.

Thinking about my son again... close to the birth I remember really feeling positive energy FROM him. He was promising me that everything would be safe and I could see him holding me. And I had complete trust in him. Like I had for my parents when I was a child. I believe that this is what made his birth so positive for me. I was never afraid of it.