depression and infertility - Page 2

[matey]

I know someone who has a therapy baby. It looks so real, and it has really helped her. I dont know if something like that would ever make me feel better, but she has said just holding it is soothing for her. Just thought I'd share.

[FaithKeeper]

First of all, research shows that women expereiencing IF have the same levels of stress as people diagnosed with terminal disease. This said, a solid Mind/Body program (kaiser in California offers them as do MANY other orgs) or ongoing support group is absolutely a must. You may want to start with reading Alice Domar's books. Everyone of them is an easy and necessary read in my book.

Also, you may want to seek out a local support group through RESOLVE or look on a couple of other websites for IF support groups in your area. Two that I like are www.hannahsprayer.org and www.ivfconnections.com (not just for IVF!)

You are not alone or odd for struggling--you just don't have to do it alone!!!

Hugs,
Faith

[mommyofCHEY]

: : I am so glad a family member showed me this place yesterday was the hardest dayof my life. After a try with Clomid that almost killed me litterally and a D&C for a uterine wall to thick and nevermind that hubby and I have been trying for 7 years now a family member found out that they are expecting I was happy for them right up until she said "I dont want another one" I lost it and completely flipped out ran screaming all the way out to the Suburban we bought for 1 child we already have because someone told me that "someone in the family is due for twins and my oldest is 7 so if I got PG right away I would have 3 in carseats so we ran right out and traded in the car of my dreams for the practicallity of an 8 passenger I screamed at my hubby for so long that he actually took of his wedding ring and was ready to leave me in the last 6 months there have been 9 babies either announced OR born in and around my surrounding family I feel like I am in a nightmare that will not go away and all the time I am charting living like I am supposed to and the drs cant tell me what is the underlying problem all that they keep saying is "its hormonal" NO KIDDING oh well thanks for listening

[MichelleW]

mommyofCHEY
we are here for you! and you are not alone. i know everytime something baby-related or pregnancy related is talked about in-person, onthe radio, or tv, i flip-out! it is hard. i can't talk about this stuff with my DP without breaking down.
sounds like you need another one!

[ItyBty]

Oooooooh yeah. Depression? Check! Infertility? Check!

I've gained 25lbs in the past year. I quit my job because I hated it, but haven't found one I don't hate to replace it yet. But when I quit my job, I thought I was pregnant, so the logic was - I hate this job, it's too far away, and besides, lets find something with "mommy hours" cause I think I'm pregnant. D'oh. I wasn't, and now I'm not sure I even can. (Plus, I don't have a job...)

It feels like I can't watch tv without baby references - all my favorite shows now have pregnant characters, local news lady is pregnant, I flip channels, and keep finding shows about mommies, and babies, and kids, and Augh! Oh, and did I mention that a really close friend of ours just announced that she is pregnant too? We started trying around the same time as this couple, so it just hurts. While I'm happy as hell for them, honestly I am so happy for them, it's such a double edged sword, because I'm sad for us.

I've never known what I wanted to be when I "grew up" but I always wanted kids. I want a huge family. I'd be thrilled to have 6 or more kids. I was a huge baby sitter as a teen, and even toyed with becoming a teacher at one point. I've always loved kids, I have this huge family - 20+ cousins, and I love it. But here I am, I'm 30 now, and still no kids. Plus, being 30 already, my odds of having a big family just go down further with each passing month. It just sucks that I can't get what I want. It's to the point where I'm dreading the upcoming holiday season - because I know that someone will ask me when we plan to have kids, and I dunno what I'm going to say.

[kimberlychapman]

Oh ItyBty, I totally understand. When I was going through TTC and fertility treatments, I had a job where I sat at a desk in front of a nice big window. Problem was, it looked across a pathway to a midwife's office. Pregnant ladies came and went every day. It drove me crazy. I felt so petty hating them for their condition, and yet there I was, seething with jealousy.

And when our second round of IVF didn't work in November of 2004, I had the worst Christmas ever. Didn't even put up the tree. I told my husband that if I couldn't have my baby, I no longer wanted Christmas.

And I too had wanted to be a parent more than anything else, starting pretty much from puberty. Sure, career stuff was fun and all, but it was empty without a baby. And I had so-called feminists ragging on me about that, accusing me of sinking into biological determinism blah blah frickety blah.

So I totally understand how you feel, and while I absolutely know it won't help much, have a *hug* anyway, plus my best wishes for you to get what you want soon.

[mommyofCHEY]

oh yeah I can completely identify imagine how I feel when my Brother in law and his NEW girlfreind show up at my house and all that they can talk about is that they "screwed up" and got PG!!!! the first word out of my mouth was CONGRATS!!!!!!! and then it was ......we will take it if you dont want it!!!!!!! we will adopt it......I didnt even talk to my hubby and he was standing right there!!!!! They havent talked to me since oh well it is showing my determination I think. we have a 7 year old it isnt like we are without but we have always said we never wanted her to be an only child I think that is important!!!! my hubby is the middle of 3 and I am the oldest of 2. My brother and his wife are expecting their 3rd and my hubbys sister just had their 3rd ( they have all been married less than me and hubby) we are on 13 years and it took us 6 years to get PG with Chey!!!!!! I am almost 32 and I see us not having anymore and it scares me BAD!!!!!! oh well I will be back tomorrow I just stopped in to check mail have a good day all I have a second job to go to today but that is what I get for waiting IVF and my hubbys insurance wont pay for it so I have to work 2 jobs to save the money on a happy note I have lost 9 pounds in a week I guess it is from not eating or maybe from not eating enough who knows what ever it takes right

chat soon

[mommyofCHEY]

okay I have officially blown up on my first pregnant person and I am about to go over the edge!!!! One of my "Freinds" and I use that term loosely at the moment came to my house earlier and said I just stopped in to see how you are doing and tell you about the BOY we are having never mind that is really what hubby and I want ....RIGHT, any way I snapped I under NO uncertain terms do I want her OR her husband calling ME right now I am under enough stress and things at the moment I really dont need her under foot all the time COMPLAINING about being PG with HER 4th!!!!!she has the most beautiful set of fraternal twins (boy and girl) and a 4 year old she hasnt seen in 3 years and another one on the way (cry me a river) she is the epitamy of "the ones who shouldnt breed" and she is 23 years old so she is still young but has no clue what life is!!! oh I am just steaming still I am not normally the type to go over the edge but today started bad and got worse so it was just bad timing I guess I am usually the type to say "oh it is Okay you will get through it how about some tea" today I am the wicked witch of the west from the wizard of Oz!!! I dont need TNT today just a nice dose of hormones!!! even my hubby said that who needs TNT when you have hormones I laughed but I guess he is RIGHT dont tell him I said so or he will let it go tot his head and it will be all over for me!!!! thanks for letting me VENT if it want for this place I would be CRAZY!!!!