Originally Posted by Roar
If you never leave the child how does your relationship teach that?
I never said to NEVER leave the child. Leaving a child with dad, with a trusted sitter for a couple of hours, leaving with a beloved family member, etc., is totally different from preschool if the child isn't ready. It just is. I can't believe I'm debating this on MDC - not that I mind, I'm just a little surprised.
[/QUOTE] I agree that preschool isn't necessary. Where I think we disagree is that I am confident that my child can experience a negative emotion as part of a broader experience and it is still a worthwhile experience. I don't think he'll crumble if he's unhappy for three minutes after a leave and I'm not willing to deny him three hours of fun. To me it is lot like going to a party. For some of us the first three to five minutes are quite unpleasant and uncomfortable but we may enjoy the rest of it making it a worthwhile thing to do. For some people every minute of it is hell and they should stay home. I won't say that unless every single minute is fun, fun, fun it isn't worth doing or that it is damaging to a person. [QUOTE]
I think we're beating a dead horse here, because crying for a couple of minutes the first couple of days, no, that isn't going to damage anyone. I think I'm being misunderstood for some reason. 6 months ago I tried preschool. My ds cried like he was really panicked. Almost everyone around me said "oh, he'll be fine - he'll get used to it - he'll learn that you'll come back eventually....etc." I thought that was hogwash at the time and I still do. Fast forward 6 months later, and he's starting preschool next fall. He's ready. I know it, because I know him. If I do happen to take him and he cries that panic cry, I'll take him back home in a heartbeat. He's away from me tons - with sitters, with my mom, with his dad. He knows that I come back every time, without my arbitrarily teaching him that lesson (meaning I don't set up the situation for me to leave with the sole purpose of teaching him that). He's been in a few situations where he even surprised me at how independent he was and not afraid to try. And he knows that if he really tells me he's uncomfortable in a situation, I won't force him to do something he's not ready for. I know a lot of moms, when faced with the panic I saw in my ds 6 months ago, would feel pressured to just go through with it, in the name of socialization, or independence, or learning mom will come back, or whatever. And I don't think that's in the best interest of any child.