The Postpartum Confessional - Page 3

[Robynee]

[QUOTE=BirthFree]My confessional...
I don't like the newborn phase very much at all. It's stressful ALL the time for me.
[QUOTE]

I second(third?) that. I haven't been around much, my computer chair is not very comfortable for nursing and seeing as that is all I ever do...

I am so glad I am not alone here. This is a lot harder than I remember it being. My nipples still get sore because Sean gets fussy and pops on and off and streeetches them out. I swear his first words will be "That hurts Mama" because I say it constantly. He will not take a bottle or a paci and he only wants me. Dh was incredible for about a week but has since become completely useless.:
I think we are dealing with a dairy allergy so I have to swear off pizza and everything else that is yummy.

I'm just hanging on because I know it will get much easier as time goes on.

[radiogirlgr]

man oh man... i hear myself in all of these posts. lucky for me, this has been much easier this time than with ds1. i made a preemptive strike with the ppd and have been on antidepressants since i was about 30 weeks pregnant, and i think it's made a huge difference for me. i'm enjoying the 'baby stage' much more this time, yet still am DYING for one night of uninterrupted sleep.

i find myself doing stupid and forgetful things... i hunted all over for a stupid magazine to get a recipe out of it, and found something to throw away in the process. i ended up throwing out the magazine and standing there with a piece of trash in my hand thinking 'what was i going to do with this?' but this is really bad and my true confession-and also a huge sign of sleep deprivation:

i left spencer in the running car in the driveway the other morning while i ran in to the house to get my grocery list. (ds1 was at preschool) my keys detatch in half--house and car, because our garage is an old model T garage and our suv and pickup will not fit into it, so i have to start my car to warm up in the winter. ANYWAY-i ran onto the porch to unlock the door and out of the corner of my eye saw the PATHFINDER DRIVING ITS WAY UP THE DRIVEWAY WITHOUT ME IN IT!!!!!!! immediately panicked and managed to get to it and yank the emergency brake just as it mowed over the neighbor's bush. OH MY GOD! i was so tired that morning that i didn't put the dang car into park when i jumped out! thankfully we have a reeeealy long driveway, noone was hurt, the car is fine, and my neighbor was extremely forgiving about his shrubbery. i still can't believe what could have happened to my son... -shudder- as a result, DH let me sleep in this morning after i gave spencer his feeding.

i still feel extremely bleary eyed and tired most of the time, but let's just say that i'm definitely paying more attention to what i'm doing... good lord. let's hope i don't burn the house down! :

[mamamilkers]

Oh my goodness! That sounds so scary about the car! I am glad everyone was okay.

Have you found the anti-depressants are helping? Is anyone else on them? I wonder if that would help me. I don't feel like I'm necessarily just a depressed person, but I'm having such a hard time dealing with everything that is being thrown at me. Maybe instead of medication I just need a vacation? Could we all leave the babes home with their dad's and take off to Hawaii???

[the_lissa]

I find that when I am feeling tired and blue brewer's yeast really helps me, as does my placenta smoothie. Of course, neither is a replacement for anti depressants if that is what is necessary.

I just want to let everyone know that we are al doing awesome because sometimes it is hard to remember that in teh fog of sleep depravation, sore nipples, and messy houses.

[minimunklemama]

Originally Posted by mamamilkers

Oh my goodness! That sounds so scary about the car! I am glad everyone was okay.

Have you found the anti-depressants are helping? Is anyone else on them? I wonder if that would help me. I don't feel like I'm necessarily just a depressed person, but I'm having such a hard time dealing with everything that is being thrown at me. Maybe instead of medication I just need a vacation? Could we all leave the babes home with their dad's and take off to Hawaii???

I'm on themas I have had ppd with my other two babes.lack of sleep makes mine much worse and i'm not prepared to wait and see.I have only had a few major crying jags to date,not bad considering Ollie is 6 weeks tomorrow!!!where did that go....in a blurry sleepless haze,that's hwere

this is tough,Ollie is half and half of my other two,issi was the worse colicky babe you have ever met and Griff was the most laid back,quiet UNFUSSY babe you have ever met so this tiime is harder but easier,kwim?

anyway I hope you are all hanging in there,

[radiogirlgr]

Originally Posted by mamamilkers

Have you found the anti-depressants are helping?

YES! I have struggled with depression since about 1998-right after I graduated from college. I finally tried a 20mg dose of Lexapro about a year before we TTC Spencer. I went off the meds when we TTC, but the depression coupled with the hormones, coupled with the nasty Michigan winter we had sent me spiraling into a deep funk, so my OB started me on 10mg at 30 weeks, and I've been on it since. I'm continuing with the 10mg dose until after I wean Spencer, so it will be a while before I'm back to my normal 20mg dose. For me, and this is just ME, this medication has been a godsend. I suffered severe PPD with DS1, and this time has gone so much better. That can probably be attributed to experience AND staying on top of my condition. I know that I will have to constantly monitor my feelings and behavior for the rest of my life.

If you think that you might benefit from some sort of depression therapy, have a heart to heart with your doctor. There are a lot of options out there, and everyone is different. Sometimes it can be a hard subject to broach, but I'm so glad-for my childrens' sake-that I did.

I'm here if you want to talk!

[Sailmom]

I am holding onto a prescription for Zoloft that my MW gave me tuesday. I had to take a PPD questionaire at my 2 week check up and I "failed" it. She gave me the prescription and a list of therapists. I was fortunate enough to get in to see someone on Thursday who is covered by my insurance, and really liked her. I took Booker with me and it felt great to just unload the past year on an objective stranger. I meant to talk with her about what she thought about the Zoloft and completely forgot. I am going back this week and will talk with her then. I have just been so emotionally labile - mostly between anger and crying, not joy. And the extreme sleep deprivation doesn't help. DH is just not around, because he HAS to finish his master's thesis in the next month.

So I guess this is not really a confession per se - but I am just finding no joy in my life right now. Miserable pretty well covers it. That and stupid. I was vegging in front of the tv with the baby this morning while my mom took my 2 year old to the grocery store. She came back and asked me if I had watched anything interesting - couldn't even tell her what I had watched. And I had not been sleeping either.

[radiogirlgr]

Oh I so know how you feel! I spent January, February, and March in my bedroom. Seriously. Consider giving that Zoloft a try-I can really help. Continue with your counsellor too-and don't forget to take some time for YOU once in a while.

Hugs to you!