Hi all. I have missed this board so much. I forget how much support I get and how nice it is to "talk" to other moms who think kinda like me. Well, it's been rough, but we're getting through. My dh's job laid him off. Then, they called him back and said he wasn't laid off, but they are barely giving him any hours. It's just been really slow at work. We'd be better off if they'd officially lay him off financially, but I think we'd both go nuts if we were both home all the time. Also, there's a lot of upward poential at this job. Our toddler has been giving us a heck of a time going to sleep. She screams terribly and I'm sure the neighbors think we are beating her. I feel so torn because it seems there is not enough of me to go around, with a nursling who wants to be attached much of the time, a needy toddler and a messy house, plus there's my dh too. I'm definitely feeling overwhelmed here. And then losing my brother on top of it. I could deal with everything else. I'm not sure I know how to deal with that. I think I'm still sorta in denial. I can't seem to wrap my mind aroudn it. Plus, I feel like I need to take care of my mom and my SIL and the kids. He has 3 kiddos-8 yo DS, 6yo DD, 3yo DD. I don't know what to say to people. A guy came to the house today to take Mattie's pictures as some sort of promo thingie. He said he has five kids and I said oh yeah, I'm one of five. So he asked ow many of each I had, so I told him 2 brothers and 2 sisers. Luckily, it ended there. Then somehow we got into talking aobut tattoos. My brother was a tattoo artist and I mentioned that. It never became necessary for me to say anything thank goodness. It's hard for me not to talk about him, but I get a sinking feeling like I may have to say he's gone. An I still can't say the D word yet. I really missed him yesterday when we were all hanging out at my mom's house and he would've been there. It's just so sad and seems too unfair to be real. I think it's too big for me to deal with. So I better go relieve dh, who is still trying to get dd settled into bed. That is, if my nursling is really asleep. She has a way of being asleep until I hand her to dh and then she's starving. Thanks for listening. I will update my original post about my brother with details soon. It's so hard to find time to get online anymore.
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8/21/06 at 11:33pm