post partum RAGE?

[Korimomto2]

Why am I so ANGRY all the time?? I feel so completely out of control. Last night the baby started crying just as I sat down to (finally) eat dinner so dh came in to give her back to me (heaven forbid HE should try to comfort her : ) and I was so po'd that I screamed an obsenity and then slammed into and knocked over ds's highchair (it was empty of course! no babies were hurt in the course of this ragefull episode ) :

I feel like in these situations I have a right to be angry (or irritated or whatever) but why can't I control my reactions?? Is this PPD masquerading as rage? Has anyone had this experience??

[Ellien C]

Wow! I could have written your post. From the perspective on now having a 3 year old, I believe a lot of it was hormonal in response to the stress of having a new baby.

I thought I would get PP depression and specifically asked people to check on me. Nope, no depression at all. But boy did I have rage. Still do in fact. It never ocurred to me that it was related until depression until now.

[JJ'sMom]

Not that this is totally helpful, but I have read in many places that depression is internalized anger....so rage/anger is depression getting out!!

I suggest calling a PPD support group or what have you and talk through it. It beats yelling at DP and might help you get through this stage better/sooner. I relied on a very sympathetic (but not enabling) single girlfriend when I was like that.

Julia

[forthebest]

I can relate to this,after first dd and a grotty hosp birth, I was angry,then seriously depressed(again) for a year. Partner totally unhelpful,sarcastic and violent(we split) so all through my first babies start it was selfish people all the way. I had people at my door demanding(not joking) to see my newborn,people just took to walking in without knocking etc, I was told my life was over, I was told I was stuck and couldn't go out or have any me-time(by other moms)I was heckled continously by people who seemed to just see me and babe as public property.I was exhausted.Yep I was mad. I uc'd my next 2 dc and lived far away from stoopid people. The depression and anger ruined things for me so if you feelin like that mama get yourself a plan to empower yourself cos I don't think anyone else will do it, having a baby can be a very difficult time mostly I think due to the insensitivity and greed of others.

[Greenie]

Yeah, mama, I get angry too. DS woke up extra early this morning and we're all sick. I started getting very angry and tried to get him back to sleep, then pitched a fit once I was really out of bed. I direct all of my anger at my DH, so he bears the brunt of it. I totally understand where you're coming from.

[gilnikche]

To be honest; this is why I take Zoloft. Otherwise I turn into a horrible b.....

[MCatLvrMom2A&X]

PPD=depression, anxiety & yep extreme rage and so many other emotions as well.

[Greenie]

Originally Posted by gilnikche

To be honest; this is why I take Zoloft. Otherwise I turn into a horrible b.....

DH and I are discussing these types of options. I'm going to start seeing my Dr. again. I'm going to work with my food and workout program, and if that doesn't work, we're going to explore meds.

[maxwill129]

Good for you for being able to talk to your DH about it. When I had PPD I hid it from my DH as much as possible. To him it seemed I was just a little overwhemled when I really wanted to kill someone. I'm on Zoloft right now (I just had my 3rd) but want to stress how important it is to do more than just take meds. I think meds can help a lot- it really helps me get a grip, but I need to exercise and eat healthy to feel good about myself, too, and I need to be around other moms (or adults, at least).

I hope you get the help you need!

Shannon

[NoMariposa]

After the birth of my 2nd child I was very aware that I didn't have what I would call Post Pardum Depression, I had Post Pardum Aggression. But I read enough to know they are the same thing... So, yes anger is part of PPD -- it's just society that makes it seem like PPD is the little woman crying on the kitchen floor while the baby is crying in the other room.

The PP Aggression was much easier for me to handle than the depression I had after my first. I knew I was being angered and could stop it, I could not stop a meltdown of tears. It never got to the point of slamming doors and knocking over stuff, but I was irritated by the littlest things -- my mother's poor dish washing skills for 1.

My ds2 also screamed all the time, it was beyond colick and yet I was totally ignored by the pedi -- 3 yrs later we find out that yes he was indeed in a lot of pain 9as myself and my mother believed he was) and he has a genetic condition, Celiac Disease which was the cause of his pain and years of diarhea (in cloth diapers until age 3 1/2).

I think my inability to comfort him also added to my irritated feelings. I did not even have peace and quiet to go pee, he screamed all the time, sleeping for only 15 to 20 min at a time, a nightmare. My first was very laid back and easy going -- this little boy was not content at all.

So, you are not alone. Anger is closely related to PPD, yet seems not to be spoken of much. If it is as bad as you described all the time, I might consider counceling to work through it and/or medication for the safety of those in your house. A snap happens in a split second...

[lillake]

I know that feeling all to well. I find myself angry a lot lately. I was rally weepy and sad right after my DS2 was born, but as the sadness wore off a lot of anger and rage came out. I've always had a short temper but I find it really bubbling up more now. I'd say it's definately something to talk to a healthcare provider about.

[MysteryMama]

i too am angry. not all the time, but more and more often. usually it's when ds keeps waking as soon as i lay him down or lay down with him. i have noticed myself rocking him with clenched teeth, and then feel guilty even though im not doing anything to hurt him. i think, for me, that the anger is a result of burn out.

[NoMariposa]

Korimomto2 how are you doing?

[sweetpea333]

Originally Posted by gilnikche

To be honest; this is why I take Zoloft. Otherwise I turn into a horrible b.....

ahhh! i know what u mean i was on prozac and stopped, and am raging with out it,


and to op, yes i would get very angry alot of times when baby would cry, and i would feel so guilty and sad i still do sometimes i guess medication helped me alot until i stopped. but it's not for everyone..

[peel]

I came here today to ask this questions but scrolled the forum first.

I am so angry all the time. Everything and everyone pisses me off. They either don't move fast enough, move to slow, or are driving in the wrong lane. After my first dc I cried all the time and isolated myself. This time, I want to me around people but am so angry at the same time. I admit after having my baby a few weeks ago, I didn't take my Zoloft because I wasn't "sad". How quickly I forgot my depression over the years takes many many forms, angry being one of them.

It brings me some comfort that I'm not alone.

[intentfulady]

I am an old retired, experienced mom and midwife. I had a baby 3 years ago. At 43.

I had serious PPD. Yes it was hormonal rage.

BUT the rage (with Therapy) helped me crack open hidden wounded , shut down parts of myself. Opened me to EMOTIONAL HEALING.

I have had lots of support through therapists. I have found a group to continue this work with.

It is a powerful message, your body is trying to tell you. Someone is screaming.

Probably your inner child.

Go ahead and go to her and get into the work. It is a gift from your baby.

Your new openess.

Treat yourself as tenderly as you are your baby.

You deserve it.

Your children deserve a mom who is THAT pampered.


If you did not get it when you were a newborn, it can be triggered now.

This is not easy, but it is not as scary as those of you who are scared , think it is.

Try writing with your non dominant hand, and ask yourself what you need?

I am not saying this is NOT PPD, rather.

These things were EXTREMELY healing to me over the last 3 years and I continue to improve.

I just heard this quote about the "dark goddess" role.

" This part of woman must awaken, Man must be willing to be reborn through woman's power. Naked, without tools, without weapons"

he was referring to men learning to reakize that women are the natural born leaders of the species, and that men need to understand this for everyone to heal and move forward.

[intentfulady]

Also, make sure dp is owning his anger.

You are very open and could be picking up his anger too.

take care.

[LoveChild421]

Originally Posted by intentfulady

I am an old retired, experienced mom and midwife. I had a baby 3 years ago. At 43.

I had serious PPD. Yes it was hormonal rage.

BUT the rage (with Therapy) helped me crack open hidden wounded , shut down parts of myself. Opened me to EMOTIONAL HEALING.

I have had lots of support through therapists. I have found a group to continue this work with.

It is a powerful message, your body is trying to tell you. Someone is screaming.

Probably your inner child.

Go ahead and go to her and get into the work. It is a gift from your baby.

Your new openess.

Treat yourself as tenderly as you are your baby.

You deserve it.

Your children deserve a mom who is THAT pampered.


If you did not get it when you were a newborn, it can be triggered now.

This is not easy, but it is not as scary as those of you who are scared , think it is.

Try writing with your non dominant hand, and ask yourself what you need?

I am not saying this is NOT PPD, rather.

These things were EXTREMELY healing to me over the last 3 years and I continue to improve.

I just heard this quote about the "dark goddess" role.

" This part of woman must awaken, Man must be willing to be reborn through woman's power. Naked, without tools, without weapons"

he was referring to men learning to reakize that women are the natural born leaders of the species, and that men need to understand this for everyone to heal and move forward.

I just had to thank you for this post- it really struck a nerve in me. I had a lot of rage PP as well and I never really let myself feel it fully and see what I could learn from it. Ds is now 18 months old so the hormones have calmed down but I will still try what you have suggested and I hope I'm able to heal some of the wounds I have from childhood. Thank you.

[lauraess]

Intentfullady> Your words of wisdom are powerful and helpful even to me as my ppd days are over (5) yet i still struggle at times with old deep wounds.
Thanks

[Om Girl]

Originally Posted by gilnikche

To be honest; this is why I take Zoloft. Otherwise I turn into a horrible b.....

I was "prescribed" Omega 3's instead of pharmaceuticals...They work for me, I take 2000 mg every day along with a prenatal vitamin. They're supposed to work as "natural anti-depressants". They're worth a try, and they don't hurt you or your babe.

Good luck mama, I TIA with the rage...I often feel the same way. I find this gets worse when I forget to take my fish oil.

{hugs}