A couple of months ago I started a thread asking for opinions on whether or not my 10 year ols son should be in my sister's wedding party. She had origninally wanted him to be a junior bridesmaid, in a dress etc. I got lots of advice and some very negative reactions. The general concensus seemed to be that it should be up to him as to what he wanted to do. Then the thread was rather abruptly ended and that was where it was left. For the many who expressed an interest in this dilemma, I wanted to post an update.
He very much wanted to be in the wedding party, but things were up in the air as to what he would wear. My sister and I included him in the wedding planning and he seemed take a keen interest. Then one day, out of the blue, he asked me if would be alright if he wore a dress like the other bridesmaids at the wedding. I explained to him the many ramifications attached to his doing this, many of them negative. He said that he didn't care and that he really wanted to do this. Upon further questioning, I learned that he had secretly desired to dress as a girl ever since the two times he had done so for Halloween and this would be a chance to do so again. I explained that this was a lot different than wearing a Halloween costume and that there might be a lot of negative reaction from family and friends. He still insisted that he wanted to do this.
Since he has secretly wanted to wear girl's clothes, I agreed to buy him some outfits that he can wear around home. After wearing them around here for awhile, we would see if he still wanted to wear a dress for the wedding. If it finally comes down to this, I want him to look good, not like a boy in a dress. So, he practices wearing a skirt any chance he gets. I also bought him an inexpensive pair of low-heeled pumps that he clomps around the house in all the time. He said that he wants to be able to walk down the aisle like the other bridesmaids and not wobble. Its beginning to look like I will have to live with this. In fact, I have put a moratorium on haircuts until this is decided. My stylist, who normally cuts his hair, said that his hair would be long enough by the wedding that she could do something really nice with it. I had previously clued her in on what was going on.
So, for those who are interested, that is where we stand. I wonder when I would have found out that my son was a closet crossdresser if it hadn't been for the forthcoming wedding. Maybe its better I found out this way rather than catching him unexpectedly in my clothes someday.
If anyone is interested, I will update this as time goes on, provided the thread doesn't get closed down again.
He very much wanted to be in the wedding party, but things were up in the air as to what he would wear. My sister and I included him in the wedding planning and he seemed take a keen interest. Then one day, out of the blue, he asked me if would be alright if he wore a dress like the other bridesmaids at the wedding. I explained to him the many ramifications attached to his doing this, many of them negative. He said that he didn't care and that he really wanted to do this. Upon further questioning, I learned that he had secretly desired to dress as a girl ever since the two times he had done so for Halloween and this would be a chance to do so again. I explained that this was a lot different than wearing a Halloween costume and that there might be a lot of negative reaction from family and friends. He still insisted that he wanted to do this.
Since he has secretly wanted to wear girl's clothes, I agreed to buy him some outfits that he can wear around home. After wearing them around here for awhile, we would see if he still wanted to wear a dress for the wedding. If it finally comes down to this, I want him to look good, not like a boy in a dress. So, he practices wearing a skirt any chance he gets. I also bought him an inexpensive pair of low-heeled pumps that he clomps around the house in all the time. He said that he wants to be able to walk down the aisle like the other bridesmaids and not wobble. Its beginning to look like I will have to live with this. In fact, I have put a moratorium on haircuts until this is decided. My stylist, who normally cuts his hair, said that his hair would be long enough by the wedding that she could do something really nice with it. I had previously clued her in on what was going on.
So, for those who are interested, that is where we stand. I wonder when I would have found out that my son was a closet crossdresser if it hadn't been for the forthcoming wedding. Maybe its better I found out this way rather than catching him unexpectedly in my clothes someday.
If anyone is interested, I will update this as time goes on, provided the thread doesn't get closed down again.
:
I know that must be hard to do. You are an awesome mom and he is so lucky to have such a wonderful person to listen to what he needs.
