or Connect
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Miscellaneous › Dads › Paternity Leave - How Much Time Did You Get Off, If Any?
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Paternity Leave - How Much Time Did You Get Off, If Any? - Page 3

post #41 of 63
With the twins, my DH had 2 weeks paid and then took 2 week vacation. With my youngest, he had a week paid and then took a week vacation.
post #42 of 63
My husband works for a company small enough to fall outside the requirements of the federal Family and Medical Leave law. So, he was not able to take even the unpaid 12 weeks.

He took 5 days of paid vacation following the birth.

He also believes that men do not take paternity leave and that even in companies that offer paternity leave, it is frowned upon for a man to take more than a week or two off. He think it would stunt his career.

I disagree with him because where I work, men take paternity leave up to 3 months off and it is viewed the same as if a mother took maternity leave.

I'm curious if others have noticed or felt a double standard for women and maternity leave versus men and paternity leave? Are they treated equally?

Thanks!
post #43 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennifersueack View Post
My husband works for a company small enough to fall outside the requirements of the federal Family and Medical Leave law. So, he was not able to take even the unpaid 12 weeks.

He took 5 days of paid vacation following the birth.

He also believes that men do not take paternity leave and that even in companies that offer paternity leave, it is frowned upon for a man to take more than a week or two off. He think it would stunt his career.

I disagree with him because where I work, men take paternity leave up to 3 months off and it is viewed the same as if a mother took maternity leave.

I'm curious if others have noticed or felt a double standard for women and maternity leave versus men and paternity leave? Are they treated equally?

Thanks!
I definitely think there is a double standard - but you have to start somewhere. Someone has to be the pioneer. Someone has to take the leave, stand-up to the snickers and the criticism and PROVE that it doesn't have to ruin your career.

My DH - lowly legal assistant did it. The women were supportive and I think more than a few high-powered (male) lawyers thought twice about how nice it would be to put family first for once. Someone has got to be the first one to take it. No it's not easy, but neither have any of the rights we've fought for. It's never easy to be the first person to do something but stand up and be brave. Have courage! Fight the system.
post #44 of 63
Since we get paid parental leave, it is not looked down upon at all. But I think it was when it was first implemented. Everyone I know has taken at least a bit of parental leave, and all of my partner's coworkers have as well.

My DP was only at his new job for 15 weeks before he started his 17 week leave, and it's not a problem at all.
post #45 of 63
Like I mentioned in a previous post my DH is taking 7 paid months off and there wasn't a problem at all... people at his work just think that it is great...

Maybe because it is availible to everyone and more and more dads are taking advantage of it that it so widely acceptable now...
post #46 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellien C View Post
I definitely think there is a double standard - but you have to start somewhere. Someone has to be the pioneer. Someone has to take the leave, stand-up to the snickers and the criticism and PROVE that it doesn't have to ruin your career.

My DH - lowly legal assistant did it. The women were supportive and I think more than a few high-powered (male) lawyers thought twice about how nice it would be to put family first for once. Someone has got to be the first one to take it. No it's not easy, but neither have any of the rights we've fought for. It's never easy to be the first person to do something but stand up and be brave. Have courage! Fight the system.
You are so right! I'm always proud of people when I hear they put their family first. I really think employees everywhere - men and women - benefit when just one employee puts family first and takes the leave they need! Good for you guys!
post #47 of 63
DH just found out that in his current job there is no paternity leave. He may use his sick days, I think he will have 8 days by the time of the birth. He was told he could qualify for FMLA unpaid. I really wanted to lay in with the baby this time, but we definately can't afford any time off unpaid. What's funny is that here in Japan women typically stay in bed with their babes for a month and dads here get 2 months off work--paid.
post #48 of 63
My DH can choose to take the FMLA leave, unpaid, but gets no paid paternity leave at all. He is saving comp time and vacation time to take two weeks off w/pay but that's it! Well, he does get sick time for any time that I (or our baby) is in the hospital. At his last position, he had been approved for a weeks paid leave, but they forced him to come in two days after I had the baby. He did for that day, but then took the remaining time off the following week. At my company, all employees are eligible for 6 weeks paid parental leave and then women get the additional 6 to 8 weeks paid short term disability. BUT, the guy I work with whose wife just had twins did not take the 6 weeks. I don't think it would have been frowned upon, our direct supervisor is very family friendly. Who knows though...
post #49 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by jennifersueack View Post
You are so right! I'm always proud of people when I hear they put their family first. I really think employees everywhere - men and women - benefit when just one employee puts family first and takes the leave they need! Good for you guys!
Yeah - As I wrote it, I was really proud of him. For the record, he took 8 weeks FMLA - unpaid. He had saved up about 2 weeks vacation, so some of it was paid. He took his leave AFTER I went back to work so it was nice for baby to get time with Daddy early in her life.
post #50 of 63
My husband took one week off unpaid when my son was born.
post #51 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ellien C View Post
Yeah - As I wrote it, I was really proud of him. For the record, he took 8 weeks FMLA - unpaid. He had saved up about 2 weeks vacation, so some of it was paid. He took his leave AFTER I went back to work so it was nice for baby to get time with Daddy early in her life.
You brought up another good point. It's nice when the dad can be home in the early days so he can share in the experience.
post #52 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by the_lissa View Post
Since we get paid parental leave, it is not looked down upon at all. But I think it was when it was first implemented. Everyone I know has taken at least a bit of parental leave, and all of my partner's coworkers have as well.

My DP was only at his new job for 15 weeks before he started his 17 week leave, and it's not a problem at all.
That's great! I love to hear stories like this!
post #53 of 63
Ok pay close attention this is complicated In canada you get 12 months leave at 55% of your salary, 3months is obligated to the mother, the rest you can split either way.You can do it back to back, all one parent or concurrently. With Ds 1 dh was working full time and i was working pt (he made way more than me) so he took the full leave, but i was th eone who stayed hom, he went to school full time, technically aggainst the rules but they don't check up on parental leave. His work was fine with it, he was basically quitting. With ds 2, dh was still a student so had no income, i had a crappy income (part time min wage, 55% of that is not much) but we were getting student loans. DS was born in January, dh took a week off of school but thats it, all his teachers were very supportive though. Then he took the summer off to be with the kids. He is now working full time as a teacher and we are planning on ttc again this winter. The plan is that he will take the leave this time and I will go to school part time. I am excited about him beinmg the one responsible for the household for awhile..............

Anyway pepole have always been very good about it. Although he is on a 1 year contract now and hoping to get a permanent contract next year so we wont tell his work about our plan untill after that.
post #54 of 63
My dh doesn't get paternity leave, but took 2 weeks vacation time when ds was born. I suppose he could have taken the 12 weeks FMLA but it would have been unpaid...we never considered that.
post #55 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by treemom2 View Post
DH just found out that in his current job there is no paternity leave. He may use his sick days, I think he will have 8 days by the time of the birth. He was told he could qualify for FMLA unpaid. I really wanted to lay in with the baby this time, but we definately can't afford any time off unpaid. What's funny is that here in Japan women typically stay in bed with their babes for a month and dads here get 2 months off work--paid.
Oh, I'm sorry to hear that! That is nice that your dh will get a little sick leave. Although it's not much, the 8 days will be nice while they last. I hope you'll have help in the evenings and on weekends in the months following the birth. My husband also did not take much time off and looking back, I wish I would have hired a post-partum doula to help since I was alone those first months. Maybe you could hire a doula if they don't cost too much in your area? Good luck!
post #56 of 63
Quote:
Originally Posted by KnitLady View Post
My dh doesn't get paternity leave, but took 2 weeks vacation time when ds was born. I suppose he could have taken the 12 weeks FMLA but it would have been unpaid...we never considered that.
Yeah I think you're similar to lots of other couples. It's difficult for both parents to take 12 weeks of unpaid FMLA. Unfortunately. Hope the policy will someday be different in the U.S.
post #57 of 63
This thread made me so sad! SO Nick was laid off 3 weeks before DS was born, immediately started a $hitjob without telling his new employers about the imminent birth for fear of not being hired, had to work while I labored at home, and had to scramble to get 3 unpaid days off after the birth... It was terrible.

I'm so jealous of so many of you... Wow... I hope to be better prepared next time...
post #58 of 63
I've always felt lucky - my husband got 4 weeks paid leave (he worked as a QA Lead at a mobile software company at the time).
post #59 of 63
Basically, whatever they give you isn't enough. Parents need to be home with their kids. That's what the kids need and want. It's our society that says otherwise. With my first I got two months. With my second I got six weeks. Way not enough.
post #60 of 63
Canadian mama chiming in.

Maternity and Parental leave here (Ontario) are handled through the Employment Insurance department of the gov't, with some companies offering extra bonuses or time.

http://www.hrsdc.gc.ca/asp/gateway.a...tml#Maternity3

Quote:
Maternity benefits

Maternity benefits are payable to the birth mother or surrogate mother for a maximum of 15 weeks. To receive maternity benefits you are required to have worked for 600 hours in the last 52 weeks or since your last claim. You need to prove your pregnancy by signing a statement declaring the expected due or actual date of birth.

The mother can start collecting maternity benefits either up to 8 weeks before she is expected to give birth or at the week she gives birth. Maternity benefits can be collected within 17 weeks of the actual or expected week of birth, whichever is later. Please note that the date you file your claim is very important in order for you to receive the maximum maternity benefits you are entitled to. If you are unsure about your most advantageous maternity period to receive maximum benefits, please contact us. If the actual date of birth is different from the expected date of birth, it is very important that you provide this date as soon as possible after the birth of your child. Please contact us at 1 800 206-7218 from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm and press "0" to speak to a representative. You can also write us or go in person to your Service Canada Centre. This way we will be able to determine the most advantageous maternity period, in order to receive the maximum maternity benefits you are entitled to.

If your baby is hospitalized, then the 17 week limit can be extended for every week your child is in the hospital up to 52 weeks — following the week of the child's birth. You will still receive benefits for a maximum of 15 weeks, but payments can be delayed until your child comes home. However, if you received maternity benefits prior to the birth and wanted to receive the remaining benefits when your child comes home, call our telephone information service at 1 800 206-7218 from 8:30 am to 4:30 pm and press "0" to speak to a representative. You can also write us or go in person to your Service Canada Centre to have the necessary adjustment done to your claim.

The weekly EI payment and the number of weeks to be paid remain the same even if you give birth to more than one child at the same time.

At the same time you present a claim for maternity benefits, yourself or/and partner can ask for parental benefits.
Quote:
Parental benefits

Parental benefits are payable either to the biological or adoptive parents while they are caring for a new-born or an adopted child, up to a maximum of 35 weeks. To receive parental benefits you are required to have worked for 600 hours in the last 52 weeks or since your last claim. You must sign a statement declaring the newborn's date of birth, or, when there is an adoption, the child's date of placement for the purpose of the adoption, and the name and address of the adoption authority.

Parental benefits can be claimed by one parent or shared between the two partners but will not exceed a combined maximum of 35 weeks. Claimants making application for parental benefits must provide the name and Social Insurance Number (SIN) of the other parent for cross-reference purposes.

Parental benefits for biological parents and their partners are payable from the child's birth date, and for adoptive parents and their partners from the date the child is placed with you. Parental benefits are only available within the 52 weeks following the child's birth, or for adoptive parents, within the 52 weeks from the date the child is placed with you, unless your child is hospitalized.

The weekly EI payment and the number of weeks to be paid remain the same even if you give birth to more than one child or if you adopt at the same time.

When determining how you and your partner want to take advantage of your parental leave several choices can be made, here are some examples:

Example 1
You and your partner are sharing parental benefits, you can take the time together, the 35 weeks would be shared between the two of you.

Example 2
You may want to go back to work after your maternity leave is finished and let your partner take the full 35 weeks.

Example 3
You may only want to take a few weeks of parental benefits and then return to work, while your partner takes the remaining time choice.

Example 4
You may decide to go back to work after you have taken a couple of weeks of parental leave. Then, a few weeks later you realize you would like to be home with your child. You can still use the weeks of parental benefits you have left as long as the weeks you take do not exceed the 52 weeks since your child's birth or placement with you for adoption.
With our first child, I had worked full-time and took the two-week UNPAID waiting period before maternity or parental benefits kick in. I "gave" DH 2 weeks of the parental benefits (he got 2 weeks, I got 33 weeks).

With our second child, and this one, I have not worked, so only DH is eligible for parental benefits - BUT - we cannot afford either the 2 week unpaid waiting period, or the reduction to 55% of his wage.

Thankfully, his employer offers 3 paid days leave for the birth of a child.


So - in a nutshell :

Baby #1 : mama took 15 weeks maternity leave, 33 weeks parental leave, and left the workforce. Daddy took his 3 paid days, and 2 weeks parental leave, and returned to work. Within a week of his return to work, there was a death in the family, resulting in 3 paid days of berevement leave as well.

Baby #2 : Mama is a SAHM, Daddy took his 3 paid days and returned to work.

Baby #3 : Mama is a SAHM, Daddy will take his 3 paid days and return to work.
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Dads
Mothering › Mothering Forums › Archives › Miscellaneous › Dads › Paternity Leave - How Much Time Did You Get Off, If Any?