I..just don't know. :( *ramble*

[snarfywarning]

I did the quiz, I got around 100 (it wouldn't caclulate, and I lost count around 90 hand counting it) but..I still don't want to admit that I maybe might have PPD. I love my little guy, I love my hubby..but.. I am so moody and angry all the time. I had a ragefest in my personal blog and a few moms suggested that I might have PPD.

So...now what? We have no money, we don't have a family doctor, we don't have insurance...my hunny says that money is no problem if it means I will get better (tee hee I love him, him and the babe are the lights in my dark crappy life!. ) but..thinking about spending all of his hardearned money on some doctor who will probably want to drug me up makes me even MORE stressed out.
:

It is like.. I can't even get help, because spending the money to get me the help will make me need MORE help. argh.

I don't even want to talk to my friends about this, it just feel like no one understands me. I mean, I know people understand me and see RIGHT through me, but..at the same time.. I ..just want to be alone, but HATE being alone.

I am jsut confused. BLAH! I love my baby, so why am I so depressed all the time!? I should be so happy because my life is so good, my awesome hubby and my gorgeous little guy..but.. I just feel so pissed and upset and RAGEY and sad all the time. This isn't fair *whine*

[Metasequoia]

Do you qualify for state medical coverage? I'm sure there are programs that you could do, maybe check with your local hospital? Sometimes just talking to someone about yor woes helps. I bet the hospital wouldn't offer the kind of treatment you desire, but maybe they know of a therapist that will work for free or cheap with you.