Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Why can't people just wait for their baby to make the decision to be born?!
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Why can't people just wait for their baby to make the decision to be born?!

post #1 of 73
8/24/06 at 4:36pm
Thread Starter 
I am so frustrated. My SIL's due date is today (healthy pregnancy). SHe is going to the doctor tomorrow to see what they can do about inducing. I have told her all along that first time mothers deliver on average 8 days passed their due date.

Why can't people just wait for their baby to make the decision to be born?!

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post #2 of 73
8/24/06 at 4:54pm
Because people today are impatient, don't want to live with discomfort any longer than they "have" to, etc. :

My best friend was begging to be induced BEFORE her due date, and no matter what I said about the dangers of induction, it didn't matter. She was uncomfortable and wanted the baby OUT. And honestly, I really couldn't say much since I've not been there... my baby came at 29 weeks, so I never got to experience the discomforts of late pregnancy. Anyway, after membrane stripping just gave her MORE prodromal labor (which she'd been experiencing since 36 weeks), she got induced at 40w2d. Thankfully, it only took a very low dose of pit, she was able to go pain-drug-free (the doctor actually thought she had an epidural when he came in to deliver the baby, because she wasn't acting like she was in a horrible amount of pain or anything), and her 8.5 lb baby came out healthy as can be. Phew! Another friend had delivered a week or two before that, getting induced 5 days post-EDD, ending up with a failed epidural (when she'd wantd to go natural) - she got the "window" effect, and finally ending in a C-section under GA. They tried a spinal, but it caused her to not be able to breathe, so they had to go to GA. Why was she induced? Because she was 5 days post dates! : : :
post #3 of 73
8/24/06 at 5:51pm
Sometimes it's fear. You get stories at you from all sides about the post-date babies who stopped thriving or were stillborn. There always seems to be someone ready to tell you that at their check up at 40 weeks the baby was fine and 3 days later it had died. ACK!

There's lots of fearmongering all around us as we gestate. It takes a lot of internal strength, and an external support system to not buckle under some times.

Just an alternate thought...
post #4 of 73
8/24/06 at 6:05pm
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by mary3mama
Sometimes it's fear. You get stories at you from all sides about the post-date babies who stopped thriving or were stillborn. There always seems to be someone ready to tell you that at their check up at 40 weeks the baby was fine and 3 days later it had died. ACK!

There's lots of fearmongering all around us as we gestate. It takes a lot of internal strength, and an external support system to not buckle under some times.

Just an alternate thought...
I agree. However, in this case my DS was born a year before her DD is going to be born. From the very time I became pregnant and look my Bradley class I have been sharing with her all of the information. She was very interested and asked a lot of questions. Then boom, she got pregnant and choose the drastically different side. Her doctor has already told her she gained too much weight (35 lbs), talked her into all of the after birth procedures, etc.

Anyway, what I am trying to say is the one thing I have been telling her since the beginning is that you are going to go passed your due date so put it into your head that you are not going to give birth until September. A birth that happens naturally is much better than an induced one. So what does she do? Schedule an induction appointment a DAY after her due date!!

I do not understand why people can carry a child 40 weeks, but cannot wait 1 more.

(I understand being "uncomfortable," my DS was 40 weeks and 5 days weighing 9pounds 10 ounces, and I normally weigh 105, so believe me I was uncomfortable)
post #5 of 73
8/24/06 at 6:08pm
Thread Starter 
I just re-read my post and I sound kind-of crazy, but this really bothers me.

ANother friend of mine just had her baby induced last week and he weighed 5pounds. The doctors said that they messed up the due date by a month. Now the baby is have severe problems bfing.

:
post #6 of 73
8/24/06 at 6:09pm
Yeah, I understand. The impatience permeates our culture as deeply as the fear does.

I just met a mama yesterday who had her baby girl on her hip. When she found out I was due in December, we talked about that, since her daughter was born last December. Then she said, "I made them induce me because I was so damn uncomfortable...I figured babies are born all the time before their due date and I was tired of being pregnant." Now, granted, I didn't get the rest of the story, and there may have been much more, but I was floored at that statement.

I continually tell my in-laws that I'm due at the END of December just to keep them at bay. My due date is actually mid-December, and since this is my 4th pg, it's anyone's guess when my daughter will decide to be born.

I truly hope I can be patient and not-too-grumpy as I wait...
post #7 of 73
8/24/06 at 6:12pm
Thread Starter 
I think so much of it is positive thinking.

Instead of thinking,

"I wish he would just come out!"

I would think,

"I cannot wait to meet my little boy."

And when people would ask me, "I bet you are ready to pop him out!" I would say, ""Not really, I just am excited to meet my little boy."
post #8 of 73
8/24/06 at 6:14pm
Because they don't realize how bad an induction really is and don't see any reason to suffer any more. Why bother, you know?
post #9 of 73
8/24/06 at 6:21pm
Thread Starter 
:

...even though I have tried to enlighten them
post #10 of 73
8/24/06 at 7:32pm
I personally do not understand why women would want to subject themselves to induced labour if there was no medical reason. Of course, there are women who have elective c-sections, and I can't see why someone would choose major abdominal surgery over childbirth, but that's just me.

It makes me so sad to hear about babies coming to harm from unnecessary induction.
post #11 of 73
8/24/06 at 8:34pm
: to everything said already. Ugh, I can't believe how selfish some people can be. You'd think they would want the best for their babies by waiting & hopefully avoiding unnecessary interventions & complications from those. WHY can't women educate themselves instead of worrying about brand-name clothes & which diet they can go on ASAP after the birth??

Due dates should be obsolete. It should be a "due month" instead of "due date". I tell everyone who asks what my EDD is, and I say around Christmas time.
post #12 of 73
8/24/06 at 8:38pm
When people asked when my baby was due, I always said "End of February or March sometime." They usually didn't push for an exact due date, since they were probably just trying to figure out how pregnant I was, and it kept me from reciting my EDD like some sort of established fact. Just a little psychological game I played with myself to keep me from getting too impatient.
post #13 of 73
8/24/06 at 8:48pm
Induced labor is really painful and I can't understand why anyone would choose it without a medical reason.

I'm hoping this baby will come between 37 and 40 weeks because I'm already HUGE at 18 weeks, but I won't be forcing it out early.
post #14 of 73
8/24/06 at 9:42pm
Thread Starter 
I just called her and suggested Evening Primrose Oil the soften her cervix. I told her the babies brain and organs are still developing and she said, "No their not, she's finished."

UGGGGHHHHH
post #15 of 73
8/24/06 at 10:10pm
I am so sorry. Who told her that?
post #16 of 73
8/24/06 at 10:10pm
I would also say- plan for your baby to be overdue- if not- those extra weeks are sooooo dreadful!
post #17 of 73
8/24/06 at 10:32pm
Thread Starter 
I just do not understand any of it.

SHouldn't doctors put into consideration of first time mothers going passes their due dates by 8 days?!

It seems like it would be psychologically beneficial.
post #18 of 73
8/24/06 at 11:01pm
they think the placenta ages- is my understanding.

think og it this way tho- it is probally more a scheduling thing.
post #19 of 73
8/25/06 at 9:59am
Quote:
Originally Posted by Emilie
I would also say- plan for your baby to be overdue- if not- those extra weeks are sooooo dreadful!
Great point!!!
Sometimes mamas recite their due date in their heads when they are miserable, I think, and when that one specific date comes and goes...they are lost.
post #20 of 73
8/25/06 at 10:07am
But due dates are a guarantee that you'll have your baby by then, if it hasn't then something is severely wrong with your body *roll eyes*

I just do not understand why people *expect* their babies to come BEFORE their arbitrary "due date".

My c/s was because of a failed induction at 39wks due to a highly overexaggerated case of mild "PIH". Learned my lesson the hard way as so many others do...they most take it as "my body can't birth" and schedule their repeat sections.

I HATE DUE DATES!!!! I wish they didn't exist. They aren't even scientificly based.
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Mothering › Mothering Discussion Forums › Pregnancy and Birth › Birth and Beyond › Why can't people just wait for their baby to make the decision to be born?!