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Why can't people just wait for their baby to make the decision to be born?! - Page 2

post #21 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel
Induced labor is really painful and I can't understand why anyone would choose it without a medical reason.
.
Because women in our culture don't know any other way. Intervention-filled hospital births and "life saving" c-sections (you know, the ones that are necessary because of the interventions) are the norm. Doctors are trusted blindly, no one questions them. So how can these women even dream of anything different when this is all they know?
post #22 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel
Induced labor is really painful and I can't understand why anyone would choose it without a medical reason.
anecdotal evidence..."a friend's of my neighbour had an induction and the baby was there 2 hours later and it felt just like normal labour, no biggie....*yadayadayada*"
post #23 of 73
You know, I am a rational person. Usually. I know all the pros and cons of inductions (like, if a baby isn't doing well on the inside due to a medical reason, then an induction is a good thing to get the baby out.... but usually, an induction isn't such a great idea)

I chose my midwives based on their slow, laid back ways. They don't induce until sometime between 42-43 weeks, if then.

But, today is my due date. I'm sure of my dates, as I charted for 2+ years to get pregnant.... And, if someone offered me induction today, I would be VERY hard pressed not to jump at the chance.

At this point, I'm tired of not knowing. Is today the day? Tomorrow? Next week? When is this baby coming? I'm tired to getting excited over a run of contractions, only to see them taper off. I'm tired of seeing mucus, and thinking, oh boy, soon...then realizing I've seen mucus for a week.

So, anyway, I can totally see why women cave. Luckily, I had the forethought, back when I was rational, to pick midwives that I trust and that aren't going to offer. That keeps me going. And keeps me pregnant!

But, the temptation is certainly there. Especially when "everyone" you know had an induction and everything was fine.
post #24 of 73
Thread Starter 
I guess I have the hardest time understanding why she doesn't drink coke or coffee, eats all organics, etc, etc, but then will allow pitocin to be fed to her developing baby all because it is more comfortable for her.

Today I found out she is waiting to induce until next Thursday, but will do it then early in the morning because she "doesn't want a September baby."
post #25 of 73
Quote:
Today I found out she is waiting to induce until next Thursday, but will do it then early in the morning because she "doesn't want a September baby."
wtf? wow...
post #26 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by mommyofmany
Due dates should be obsolete. It should be a "due month" instead of "due date". I tell everyone who asks what my EDD is, and I say around Christmas time.
: I'd like to see it go so far as a "due season".
post #27 of 73
Thread Starter 
yup, and I encouraged her to get a doula and she said she wants the deliver to be just between her and her husband, um what about the other 10 nurses that come in and doctors and epidural guy...

HEre is a quote from the last email,

"* and I talked about it and really just want the delivery to be just us. Please know that we thank you so much for all your help during the past few months and all your knowledge as well, I hope you know how helpful it has been!!!"

I do not understand how my knowledge has been helpful if she hasn't listened to A SINGLE THING.

(sorry getting my anger out)
post #28 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orion'smommy
yup, and I encouraged her to get a doula and she said she wants the deliver to be just between her and her husband, um what about the other 10 nurses that come in and doctors and epidural guy...

HEre is a quote from the last email,

"* and I talked about it and really just want the delivery to be just us. Please know that we thank you so much for all your help during the past few months and all your knowledge as well, I hope you know how helpful it has been!!!"

I do not understand how my knowledge has been helpful if she hasn't listened to A SINGLE THING.

(sorry getting my anger out)
I just had to comment that it sounds like she is probably being tolerant of your "crazy" ideas. She must really value her friendship with you. Imagine her saying what you are saying now "I can't understand her"

To be honest, I think people trust their care providers so they believe what they say. I trusted my midwife so had she said "Oh let's induce, baby will be fine" I probably would have been tempted. Of course, she wouldn't have- that's why she's my midwife
post #29 of 73
Thread Starter 
I understand. I honestly have never pushed anything on her though. I have been really good about being understanding. I am posting my feelings here, because I feel so frustrated that people and doctors make these decisions and believe that they are making the correct decisions.

This is the only place I can vent without people thinking I am "crazy."

She is a good friend and sister, and I know she values us.
post #30 of 73
Oh no, I didn't mean to imply you pushed anything on her I have been the "crazy" one who is tolerated by others. She has probably learned a lot from you that she never would have even thought of.

I actually remember my Bradley teacher saying she thought I should have a doula. I always brushed it off because I wanted to have "just me and my husband" and ten nurses and the janitor and the cook and.... I sure wish I would have taken her advice!
post #31 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by huggerwocky
Because they don't realize how bad an induction really is and don't see any reason to suffer any more. Why bother, you know?
Between the "my friend's sister's cousin's uncle's great grandaughter's ex-wife's son's baby was born dead when they went past their due date" from strangers and the "your fluid level's too low" from my midwife and the general lack of knowledge of what goes on with an induction... that's how quite a few of us ended up with them.

"You did then what you knew to do and when you knew better you did better..." Ya... wish I'd known then what I know now. Otherwise, I most likely wouldn't have a scar across my abdomen and still feel resentful (almost a year and a half later) of letting myself be bullied into a birth process that went contrary to what I wanted. :
post #32 of 73
People forget that they have the ability to EDUCATE themselves... they just go with whatever someone of stature tells them is the right thing to do.
post #33 of 73
Thread Starter 
:
post #34 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by huggerwocky
anecdotal evidence..."a friend's of my neighbour had an induction and the baby was there 2 hours later and it felt just like normal labour, no biggie....*yadayadayada*"
That's actually what happened to my best friend *and* her sister. I think seeing that her sister handled it fine (no pain meds) caused my friend to think she would too, and she did... but I think it was a very low dose of pit since she was already pretty close to spontaneous labor anyway, as was her sister (who'd been walking around at 4cm for weeks).

I'm thankful that it WAS just fine for my friend and her sister. They both got pain-drug-free vaginal births like they wanted, and everything turned out ok. Of course, I still have all the friends who went in for inductions for "big baby" or "you're 5 days past your due date" who ended up with C-sections. : One friend was trying to VBAC, and they induced her (!!!!) with a transverse baby (!!!!!!!!). Obviously, that VBAC didn't happen. Her baby wasn't ready to come out, and thus did NOT turn in labor.

And as the PP who would be tempted to induce if she were offered the chance now, I can totally see why women would choose to induce when they're in that state of "I'm going to be pregnant FOREVER" and feeling incredibly uncomfortable. I think the care givers need to be saying NO to inductions for non-medical reasons. I'm glad I've got a homebirth midwife who can't induce, so I won't be as tempted to just take the induction if I go past my due date. I'm also going to remind myself that all that discomfort is worth it to be able to take home my baby instead of leaving him in the NICU like my last one (not an induction - it was a spontaneous preterm birth). I figure I didn't experience the 3rd trimester last time, so I'm probably supposed to go 43 weeks with this one.
post #35 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orion'smommy
Why can't people just wait for their baby to make the decision to be born?!

God chooses birthdays really well, and I do not understand why this is such a tough concept, either!
post #36 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by Orion'smommy
I guess I have the hardest time understanding why she doesn't drink coke or coffee, eats all organics, etc, etc, but then will allow pitocin to be fed to her developing baby all because it is more comfortable for her.

Today I found out she is waiting to induce until next Thursday, but will do it then early in the morning because she "doesn't want a September baby."

She probably is looking way ahead to school issues. The cut off for school here is Sept. 1. IMO still not a good enough reason to induce.

The last few weeks are so difficult and it is very tempting when induction is waved in front of you.

I had GD during my last 2 pregnancies and with this one as well. My mw and I have talked about encouraging labor a little early because my last two babies have been big (13 lbs and 10 lbs 2ozs) and both were very bad shoulder dystocias. However, if the baby decides to wait and my body isn't willing we will wait.
post #37 of 73
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by 7kiddosmom
She probably is looking way ahead to school issues. The cut off for school here is Sept. 1. IMO still not a good enough reason to induce.
No my son was born at the end of September and so was our other little cousin, so she wants the baby to have her own birthday month.
post #38 of 73
Before I was informed when I was pfg- this was one big issue for me- it did not seem right to get an induction- and i definetly did not want to pick a birthday!!!!
I did get induced due to hbp- BUT- if they had taken the time to educate me on my diet to avoid this- then I would have been fine- as with my mw.
post #39 of 73
and this is why i tell everyone my due date is valentine's day (but don't tell anyone - not even hubby - it's jan 28th).
post #40 of 73
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2Sweeties1Angel
Induced labor is really painful and I can't understand why anyone would choose it without a medical reason.
Because many, many women don't realize that induced labour is more painful than non-induced labour. I didn't realize uintil just before my third unwanted c-section that labour pain goes nuts when I'm lying on my back - because I'd never done it. If some woman's friends swear by induction, and their friends swear by induction, and they've never laboured without it...they just think that's what labour feels like. Presto - another generation of "get the epi as soon as you can" stories is born..

I have to confess that, after chasing my then-2-year-old, high need dd around at 41+ weeks pregnant, I have a little more understanding of why someone would want to induce. It's still not for me, though. I'm pretty sure my body could do it on its own, if I'd ever given it the chance...
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