Me too! I don't want to lose my homebirth!
I really relate with phoebemommy and full heart because today I am 6 days past my due date and I am already anxious about losing my homebirth opportunity! My DS was 3 days early and weighed over 10 lbs, so I made the mistake this time of thinking that things would happen right around my due date, and now that Nothing Is Happening, I am going a little nuts...
Another difference between this pregnancy and the previous one was that I worked at my very stressful full time corporate job right up to the day before I went into labor for my first pregnancy, so a) I never got the chance to 'wait' for the baby, but b) I was very stressed and didn't have half the things ready that I wanted to have ready. This time everything is so ready that DH and I are going out of our minds with boredom. Up until a few weeks ago we were hosting dinner parties and making all sorts of plans, doing all sorts of projects, etc. that we wanted to do before Second Baby arrived, and now we are just twiddling our thumbs--DH doesn't even have enough to do at work because he expected to be on parternity leave by now! My pubic bone is soooooo sore and and I am chasing a toddler around all day... the only thing he wants to do is go to the playground for hours on end so I have the pleasure of sitting outside in the 90+ degree heat and humidity (at least it makes him nap really well!) I am still going to aerobics, it is one of the only things that makes me feel better, of course now the midwives are suggesting that I just 'rest' but if I do any more 'resting' I am going to go berserk.
I did pretty well to explain to everyone that I am 'planning' a homebirth (doesn't necessarily mean it will happen) and that I have a 'homebirth window' which ranges from August 3rd to September 7th. Still, everyone wanted to know The Due Date. Argh.
All I know is, the baby is fine, I am fine, and she will show up when she is good and ready, and I just need to constantly block out all the negativity that is stressing me out: strangers asking if 'they' are going to induce me, midwives explaining that I need to make appts for stress tests and ultrasound to 'prove' that baby and I are still healthy and eligible for homebirth, people saying, "What!?!?! You haven't had that baby yet?!?!?!"
My favorite is that my mom calls every few days and tells me which days are more convenient for baby to be born (she is caring for DS during birth, etc.) For instance, this Thursday or Friday would be great days for baby to come because she doesn't have any business appts AND my sister will be back from Europe by then and will be able to help. Thanks, Mom. I will pass your message on to my womb.
People in our culture don't even begin to understand how psychological the birth process is. I have written in my birth plan that all people present must exude positive energy or they will have to leave, because if they are even *thinking* negative thoughts I will pick up on it. Last time it was bad enough knowing that Grandma, who was 1500 miles away, had decided that I was going to die during childbirth because I had some swelling. (No HBP or anything else, just some swelling!) She called several times before the birth begging me to have DS in the hospital.
One of my friends who labored for 30+ hours and ended up w/a c-section (this was 15 years ago before c's were so 'popular') I firmly believe could not let herself have her baby because she was too busy worrying about her 'support' people, her (ex)husband and her sister, who are both extremely self-focused people who were having very negative reactions to her labor process. (She also quit BFing before she planned to because of husband's negative reactions... breasts are supposed to be sexual objects rather than feeding devices, after all!)
So all this discomfort/impatience mixed with Drs and Midwives offering induction I think psychologically undermines a mother's confidence to stick it out and have the baby when the baby is ready to be born. I feel fortunate to be educated enough to be aware of the risks that you all are also aware of.
It is frustrating when you try to pass on your knowledge to people who do not listen or understand what you are telling them, especially when you can clearly see that they are increasing risk to themselves and their babies, but at least you can say that you tried. I hope and pray that the examples that I live will inspire my two younger sisters to make educated decisions about their future pregnancies/families. There are 4 moms in DS's playgroup who are expecting next year, and I LOVE to answer their questions about all my weird natural ways (one wants to know about my cloth diaper system! yay!) It would be so neat if one of them decided to have a homebirth or use a midwife. It's just like that book, "The Tipping Point" says, at some point an idea or set of ideas gets spread around enough that it enters the mainstream and takes on a life of its own. I hope that day comes soon for our culture as it relates to pregnancy, childbirth, BFing, CDing, etc, etc.
Now I will shut up. Sorry this is so long. I obviously don't have anyone to talk to about these things! Now it is out and I am feeling much more positive.