Was I over protective? sorry long

[jlpumkin]

I'm not sure where this should go but I trust if this is the wrong spot it will be corrected

My dd4 tried out a new gymnastics class tonight. I should have smelled trouble when another parent said "I love this teacher, she doesn't take no for an answer." dd is and has always been very cautious w/ new experiences and gymnastics for that matter. But she loves it and begs to go. Anyway, she was crying on the beam and wanted down. She picked up her feet crying so the teacher was forced to hold dd (she didn't use this opportunity to comfort). She put dd back down and she crawled to the end. I'm behind glass and thought that was what she was supposed to do. Turns out she was still crying. But then she skipped over to the other kids and recovered. I moved just inside the door. Parents aren't allowed there but hey - I need to know what's going on yk? At the bars my dd starts wailing - now I feel like she's being victimized. I gave the teacher an opportunity to comfort her or maybe tell her she could skip it - but instead she says something to the effect of "you have to touch your chin on the bar so come over here." I saw red. I stopped the gymnastics class gave the teacher a piece of my mind and the office too for that matter.

I do feel that since she has been in gymnastics for a year or so and demands that over anything else she should eventually try these things. BUT I don't think that fear or control is the answer. Would you have pulled your child or rode it out to see whether it got better? The other parents acted like I was a raving lunatic:

[Beeblebrox]

I really think at the point where your daughter started crawling away crying it was probably your responsibility to go in and get her. I don't see what the coach said that was inherently cruel. She had class to attend to and other kids to worry about. I'm not suggesting that she was kind and gentle, but I also don't see it as a huge offense. Personally, I would have liked for her to stop for a moment tell your daughter she didn't have to do anything she wasn't comfortable with and moved on to the other kids until your daughter was ready.

Maybe you could have done that as well. Gone in, pulled your daughter aside to comfort her, then speak with the teacher about being a bit more gentle. If then she became a real PITA, I would have given her a piece of my mind.

I'm very sorry your poor daughter had to go through that though. It breaks my heart to hear about kids in that position. I just want to give 'em a hug.

[BellinghamCrunchie]

I think that if she stayed in that class, she would lose her love for gymnastics, and that would be a sad thing.

What did she say about the experience? Does she want to go back?

[Beeblebrox]

Originally Posted by BellinghamCrunchie

I think that if she stayed in that class, she would lose her love for gymnastics, and that would be a sad thing.

This too. Definitely find something more her style!

[jlpumkin]

I think so too! Thanks for at least validating my fear.
Just to be clear, she crawled down the beam away from me so I couldn't see her crying. With the glass I can't really hear either. We are going back to her old teacher which means I can't go due to scheduling... but again I really appreciate feeling validated - thanks mamas!

[Beeblebrox]

Originally Posted by jlpumkin

I think so too! Thanks for at least validating my fear.
Just to be clear, she crawled down the beam away from me so I couldn't see her crying. With the glass I can't really hear either. We are going back to her old teacher which means I can't go due to scheduling... but again I really appreciate feeling validated - thanks mamas!

Ah okay, that makes sense. Really in that case I do think the teacher should have said something and taken a bit more time. She's working with four year olds not college kids. I thought for some reason you had more access. Again, I'm so sorry you two had to deal with that. I hope she's feeling better about it soon.:

[jlpumkin]

Thanks Snooter - I guess I just think we're not attempting to train an olympic athlete here - who cares if she's scared of the beam and chooses to sit out? yk? Either way I feel much better about it all this morning! A good nights sleep & cup a joe can fix darn near anything.

[punkinsmommy]

My DD takes gymnastics. The teachers don't "coddle" the students, but DD has never cried. If she did, I wouldn't send her back, at least to that school, even if she later begged to go. Why? Because that was me when I was that age. I begged and begged for gymnastics, and the first school I went to I loved. It was just my style. Then we moved and I started a new school. I hated it. I would beg to go to gymnastics, and then cry the entire time. It was horrible. I ended up hating gymnastics, even though I was very good at it. I quit and never did it again.

I really believe if my parents had pulled my from that school, I would have continued with the sport much longer.

[Evan&Anna's_Mom]

It sounds like a mismatch between your child, your parenting style, and this particular teacher. I don't think the teacher is necessarily wrong in general, but clearly wrong for your family. Seems worth finding a different class.

[rharr!]

I dont think you were wrong to get your child, or to tell the teacher why.
I would not have torn a strip of the teacher though-but that could be because I am sitting at a computer. It wasnt me watching my child cry while an adult tried to force her to do something.

The teacher, I am sure is doing what she has to do. While her approach works for some, it obviously does work for you or your child. I would find a new teacher or class. Maybe even stop gymnastics all together.
It is for reasons like this, I am hesitant to put my daughter in any classes.