Touched Out?

[AnneB]

We're a high touch family and I spend a lot of my day being hugged, and cuddled, but also climbed on, climbed over, stepped on, etc.

Sometimes by the end of the day I just feel done. I want five feet of personal space. But I know that my children's need for me and closeness is bigger.

So, does anyone have any advice on how to recharge that battery, so to speak, and combat the touched out feeling?

TIA!

[lilylove]

Moved to Parenting

[JennP]

I'll be watching this one I'm in the same boat with 9 mo old so much so that I have little time it seems for dd 2 1/2 yrs.

Good luck
Jenn

[nausicaamom]

My feeling is that if you are getting "touched out" on a regular basis, it's crossed the line from a want to a need. Do you have any help that you can get a bit of alone time every day to recharge - it doesn't have to be much, even as little as 15 minutes can work wonders.

Good luck.

[PGNPORTLAND]

I find that I nice long shower with lots of nice shower stuff really helps me. A bath could work as well if you are a bath person. But I, too, am really touched out and I only have one baby. we breastfeed, babywear, and cosleep so the shower is the only time I really have my body to myself. I have a hard time being intimate (even cuddly) with my dp because I am so "touched out". But, yeah, a shower. And nice fancy (all natural) shower products. from Lush cosmetics.

pauline

[LynnS6]

Well, as an introvert, I have discovered that sometimes I just NEED to say "I need 10 minutes to myself." I think it does my children a disservce not to let them know this. If I don't, them I'm resentful with them, and that is harmful too.

Remember that part of being a family is learnig to respect EVERYONE'S needs. That includes Mom. She's a person too. .

So, find some time each day (even if it's just 15 minutes) where you can be by yourself. By tending to your own garden, you will be able to be fully there for your children.

[TinkerBelle]

Sometimes your needs have to trump your child's, even if just temporarily. In order to stay sane, sometimes I HAVE to have my space, if just for an hour. I think martyrdom is highly over-rated. I don't think that taking a little time for yourself is going to permanently ruin your children. In fact, they will learn empathy for others, IMO.

[AnneB]

Thanks, everyone. Sometimes balance is the hardest ideal for me to achieve as an AP mom. I want my children to have their connection, but I need my sanity too!

Thanks for all the responses. I think maybe I need to start making a tea break for myself on a daily basis. Perhaps when dh is home.

[barbara]

oops!

[lunar forest]

-nak-
I'm there with ya, mama! I really feel like my kids know when I get that climbing the walls feeling, and it's better for me to tell them that I need some time without touching (climbing, jumping, nursing, throwing, hitting, kissing, hugging, pinching, etc!!!) than to sit there and "take it" because it's good for them. They KNOW I'm feeling resentful, or at the very least like I want to crawl away (out from under the pile of lovin'!)

My kids are a little older (two and a half and nearly five - not the babies they once were...*sniff*...) so they really get it when I tell them "I need space for a while" and direct them elsewhere. It helps when I give them an activity to do instead of just leaving them (or telling them to leave me alone!) I've been doing it for a while, too, so they're used to me just up and leaving when I get overwhelmed (ds has SID and is touching CONSTANTLY, so this happens a lot... SEVERAL times a day!!)

hth!

[vamp127]

This used to happen a lot when the dc were younger and I was nursing a babe, had a toddler and a young child. By the time DH came home from work, I would cringe at the thought of him hugging me--I had been all touched out.

He took it personally until I really explained what I was feeling. I also started getting the dc to have close time with each other. Now that they are 8, 5 & 3, they still will crawl into DD#1's bed and have her read a story.

We are still a high-touch family, but it has certainly gotten better or as least I tolerate it better.