Interviewing a pediatrician...advice needed!

[KrystalC]

My husband and I have decided to use a delayed/selective vaccination schedule for our son and we're interviewing pediatricians before he's born in hope of finding one who won't harass or bully us about our decisions and instead offer medical ADVICE while keeping our ideas and opinions in mind.

In determining whether or not this doctor will be right for us, I'm trying to come up with some questions I can ask at the interview.

What would you all suggest?

[LongIsland]

Originally Posted by KrystalC

What would you all suggest?

I would present to the doctor your selective/delayed schedule and if he/she is not respectful of your choices, then you should find another practice.

If you feel like you are constantly "defending" your schedule at each well visit after the baby is born, then that's another red flag.

[LongIsland]

By the way, do you know your state minimum requirements for school entry and exemption information?

State requirements vary (sometimes greatly) from the federal recommendations.

[KrystalC]

Yeah, I did my research on the available exemptions for the state of Oklahoma. Fortunately, the state offers exemptions on medical, religious, AND philosophical grounds, so we're covered in that regard.

[Gitti]

If a ped tells you there is just one vaccine you must do, say "good bye" because after that ONE he'll tell you the next and the next....

Actually I would ask him what the ingredients in vaccines are and why they are in there? Why not just the viruses?

Gosh, I have only bad ideas because I just don't see any point in any vaccines. Sorry!

[Daisie125]

Even though you are planning to vax, I would ask what his/her policy is with parents who don't vax. That way when you find one who is accepting of non vax, they should deal with sel/del vax just fine. (Unless of course he/she is anti vax )

[LongIsland]

Originally Posted by KrystalC

Yeah, I did my research on the available exemptions for the state of Oklahoma. Fortunately, the state offers exemptions on medical, religious, AND philosophical grounds, so we're covered in that regard.

Good!

I'm not sure if you also saw the minimum dose requirements for Oklahoma, so I would like to point out that:

• If the 4th dose of DTP/DTaP is administered on or after the child’s 4th birthday then the 5th dose of DTP/DTaP is not required.
• If the 3rd dose of Polio is administered on or after the child's 4th birthday then the 4th dose of Polio is not required.
• Hib vaccine is not required for students in pre-kindergarten or kindergarten through grade twelve, but is required for children in childcare.
•Pneumococcal is not required

[KrystalC]

Great! Thanks for the info!

My little boy isn't going to be in childcare, so we're probably going to hold off on ANY vaccinations until 18 months to two years. We're not even sure if we're ever going to put him in public school at all... strongly considering home school.

[xmysticprincessx]

Originally Posted by Daisie125

Even though you are planning to vax, I would ask what his/her policy is with parents who don't vax. That way when you find one who is accepting of non vax, they should deal with sel/del vax just fine. (Unless of course he/she is anti vax )

i think this is a great question to ask. you never know, you might change your mind on vaxing and change from delayed/selective to non-vax. a local ped is ok with delaying vaxes up to age 2, but is pro-vax and not ok with not doing vaxes at all. a family (who had previously fully vaxed their older child on schedule) told her that they were not going to vax their new baby at all, and she told them at that appt that they needed to find a new dr.

if the dr is ok with delaying vaxes, ask how long he/she is ok with delaying. dd's 1st dr was ok with delaying vaxes til she was 9 months old. (how he came up with 9 months, im not sure.)

you may also want to look into family doctors, DOs, etc in addition to just a ped for your son. lots of parents on here see family drs because many of them are more accepting of different vax schedules.

finding your trible is a good area to get a dr recommendation. if you have to drive a little bit, the drive will be worth it to have a dr on your side. depending on where you are in OK, you may want to look for drs in the next state over. (haha, can you tell i had a rough time finding a dr for dd???)

if you cant find anyone in finding your tribe (or just dont like that dr) you may want to figure out what your "big" requirements are in a dr: vaxes, antibiotic prescriptions, how often tylenol is recommended, bfing/extended bfing support, diet (like if you are vegetarian, drink raw milk, etc), etc. then get a copy of your insurance company's book of providers and start calling. ask the secretary if the practice/dr is ok with your requirements. if they arent, just cross them off in the book. if they are, then thats a potential dr to interview.

[lilyka]

ask open ended questions.

"where do you stand on vaccines"
"do you trust parents to make imformed choices about health care"
"what will happen if we disagree on medical care"

don't seem challenegein. stay pleasent and positive. nothing shuts a Dr. down faster than feeling challeneged. if you can ask questions without letting on to what you are getting at specifically they will be less likely to jsut say whatthey think you want to hear.

[aniT]

How do you interview a ped? I have never meet one that will let you. You always have to pay them for an office visit.

I have been told point blank by every office I have called that they don't do interviews.

[Mommy To Baby Roni]

I like lilyka's questions.

Even though you are planning to vax, I would ask what his/her policy is with parents who don't vax.

I was thinking the same thing. The suggestion to go to Finding Your Tribe is a great one. That's where I found a local mama's group where I received excellent recommendations for a pediatrician, family doctor, chiropractor, o/b, doula and birthing instruction. Besides that, they are a great group of women with whom I have common parenting values. They made me so comfortable at the first playdate.

Imo, you should try to seek out a ped. or family doctor with a more natural approach to medicine, like a DO, homeopath or naturepath. It's difficult to find a doctor who practices 100% mainstream medicine, yet thinks you don't need all of the medical community's recommended vaccines.

I found a ped, while pg, who came highly recommended and said, in the interview, that she would respect our decision not to vax. She was great, never giving me a hassle. However, upon dd's first visit with an ear infection at 2 1/2, she tried pushing antibiotics on me just because I didn't vax (she didn't even remember us from the previous visit a year earlier). It's a long story, but I never went back to that b****. The next day, I took her to a homeopath who could not find an infection. I had been treating it naturally, which the ped. told me couldn't be done, and it had healed. I felt extremely betrayed. I trusted her to be respectful and put my child's health first, not her ego. She also, at that visit, tried to get me to sign her waiver for the first time. It stated that I acknowledge my negligence and that my negligence could cause the death of my child or another's. So, be sure to ask about a waiver and to see a copy of one. Needless to say, I didn't sign it.

I was one who thought I needed to go to a pediatrician because I needed a relationship with one, just in case my child got really sick. The truth is, these peds see so many patients that the only way they are going to remember you is if your child is sick on a regular basis. And, if they get really sick, you'll either be in the ER being seen by an unknown dr. or referred to a specialist. Many peds will tell you they respect your decision to delay, but just think they can convince you to conform.

Good luck in your search. And, if you are confident your child is healthy, don't feel so obligated to go to those "well baby checks" every couple of months if you are not vaccinating at that time. Good luck.

[LongIsland]

Originally Posted by Mommy To Baby Roni

I was one who thought I needed to go to a pediatrician because I needed a relationship with one, just in case my child got really sick. The truth is, these peds see so many patients that the only way they are going to remember you is if your child is sick on a regular basis.

Exactly, particularly if the practice has a few peds and an NP or two. The staff and peds see so many infants/children in a week, the same doc likely wouldn't remember you or what was wrong with your kid if you came back the following week until he looked in your child's file . . . and even then his memory would probably be shakey.

All you need to do in order to have a "relationship" with a practice is fill out some paperwork and give them an insurance card . . . they make up a file for your kid and wala! you have a "relationship." You are not obligated to go every two months.

[kriskriskris]

Originally Posted by aniT

How do you interview a ped? I have never meet one that will let you. You always have to pay them for an office visit.

I have been told point blank by every office I have called that they don't do interviews.

I am sure not all peds do it and I guess it depends on what area you live in but where I live peds allow you to go and meet them and ask questions... we were lucky in that the recommendation came form my husbands brother and we really liked the ped once we met her, so that was the only interview we did.

[KrystalC]

I initially heard about this particular doctor on FYT for my area. Since then, I've had no less than 5 people recommend him highly, so I called and talked to his nurse with regard to some of these issues and she said she didn't feel it would be a problem at all. The vax issue isn't the only one we have. We're leaving our boy intact, so the foreskin retraction problem is a big one. We're also not too keen on having a doctor push antibiotics at the drop of a hat. Also, we want a pro-breastfeeding doctor. When I asked if I could interview him, she said it was no problem and he was just fine with talking to expectant parents in order to determine whether or not he would be the right pediatrician for their baby.

I'm not sure if I'll have to pay to meet with him or not. It seems that it would be in his best interest to allow parents to meet with him to discuss concerns prior to choosing him as their pediatrician. He'd be more likely to get new patients that way. However, even if I have to pay for it, I consider it money well spent! If not, well that's even better.

I HAVE heard that he is okay with selective/delayed vaxing, although he does ask why you've made that decision and will not harass or bully you into it. I'm not sure how he feels about not vaxing at all, but I'll be sure to ask. Thanks for the tip!

Also, from things I've heard, he doesn't believe in RIC and understands that retracting the foreskin forcibly is a bad idea! Furthermore, I've been informed that he's very pro-breastfeeding and will not try to push formula constantly. In addition, kids seem to adore him, so that's always a bonus.

Hopefully this guy will be good for us and we won't have to look any further. Unfortunately, Oklahoma is not known for being an open-minded state in general, so it might be hard to find a doc who will suit our needs if this isn't the one.

Thanks so much for the advice. I'm new to all of this stuff being that this is my first child, so I can certainly use all the help I can get!

[KrystalC]

Our meeting with the pediatrician went great!! We weren't billed for the visit, he was very good about answering all of my questions, and my husband and I were both pleased with his responses.

He stated that he believes vaccinations are important, but he respects parental decisions and believes that every child should receive competent medical care, so he won't drop them for not vaccinating. He said he will be more than willing to work with us on a delayed vaccination schedule, or even if we decide not to vaccinate at all.

All in all, we're not going to interview any more doctors. I can't imagine actually being able to find one that suits our parenting philosophies more perfectly!

[lyttlewon]

You know what I found to be the best way to recruit a pediatrician, this isn't including asking vax questions, was to ask the Peds nurses at your local hospital who they recommend. They won't tell you why but they will tell you which one they like the best. My cousin is a peds nurse and of course I have insider information but she helped me find my current ped who I love.

[Mommy To Baby Roni]

That's great!

[LongIsland]

Originally Posted by KrystalC

He said he will be more than willing to work with us on a delayed vaccination schedule, or even if we decide not to vaccinate at all.

Terrific! All too often selective and nonvaxing parents get a pit in their stomach every time they go to the ped b/c the ped and staff are not respectful of parenting choices.

The fact that he didn't use the typical scaremongering stories and/or tell you that he "respects your decision, but you really should at least get the Hib vaccine" is also a .

[Jennifer3141]

Congrats on finding a doctor you are comfortable with and feel supported by! And congrats on becoming a mom again!