My two younger kids are officially 355 days apart in age, although in reality that are probably right about exactly the same age. My youngest (Efram) has been with us for 21 months.
He basically wants he and my middle child (Ramona) to be treated as a single unit. He wants exactly what she has at the exact time she has it. He follows her around and wants to do everything she does. If they need to do separate things (such as Ramona taking a Spanish class that Efram is not old enough for), he throws a big fit about it. If Ramona wants to do something without him, such as sit on the porch swing and look at books, he throws a big fit about it. If Ramona wants to do something with just me, such as play a game or color, he throws a big fit about it. If Efram gets up from his nap first and has his snack, and Ramona gets up two minutes later and wants a snack, Efram thinks he needs a snack, too, just because Ramona has one (and recognizing hunger cues is a big issue we are working with him on, because we think he was hungry before he came to us and he doesn't know how to know when he is hungry or how to recognize that he is full, so feeding him just because someone else is eating is not something we are willing to do).
I understand that Efram wants to be like Ramona and wants to feel like he is getting as much attention as she is, but I also understand how it drives Ramona crazy to have Efram always running after her and never giving her any breathing space.
How can I point out to Efram that they are separate people and everything won't always be the same for them? How can I encourage Efram to have some autonomy? How can I make sure that Ramona gets the space she needs? They share a room, so they don't really have their own "private spaces" in the house, but I have been telling them that, if they want time alone, they can go to their room and I will keep the other one out for a while. I have had to resort to sending Efram into another room when I play a game with Ramona, because if I don't, he hovers and tries to get in on the game and whines about not playing and generally diverts all my attention from Ramona when it is supposed to be "Ramona time."
Any suggestions?
Namaste!
He basically wants he and my middle child (Ramona) to be treated as a single unit. He wants exactly what she has at the exact time she has it. He follows her around and wants to do everything she does. If they need to do separate things (such as Ramona taking a Spanish class that Efram is not old enough for), he throws a big fit about it. If Ramona wants to do something without him, such as sit on the porch swing and look at books, he throws a big fit about it. If Ramona wants to do something with just me, such as play a game or color, he throws a big fit about it. If Efram gets up from his nap first and has his snack, and Ramona gets up two minutes later and wants a snack, Efram thinks he needs a snack, too, just because Ramona has one (and recognizing hunger cues is a big issue we are working with him on, because we think he was hungry before he came to us and he doesn't know how to know when he is hungry or how to recognize that he is full, so feeding him just because someone else is eating is not something we are willing to do).
I understand that Efram wants to be like Ramona and wants to feel like he is getting as much attention as she is, but I also understand how it drives Ramona crazy to have Efram always running after her and never giving her any breathing space.
How can I point out to Efram that they are separate people and everything won't always be the same for them? How can I encourage Efram to have some autonomy? How can I make sure that Ramona gets the space she needs? They share a room, so they don't really have their own "private spaces" in the house, but I have been telling them that, if they want time alone, they can go to their room and I will keep the other one out for a while. I have had to resort to sending Efram into another room when I play a game with Ramona, because if I don't, he hovers and tries to get in on the game and whines about not playing and generally diverts all my attention from Ramona when it is supposed to be "Ramona time."
Any suggestions?
Namaste!
