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I am going to lose it.... - Page 2

post #21 of 25
Seems to me if you both work full-time (except didn't you say you have to even leave work early in order to accommodate all this for him??), and you both have two kids, you're each fifty percent responsible for supper, kids, and all the rest of it. I.e. you shouldn't be doing everything all the time, period. Not to mention it would be common courtesy for him to help out a bit more when you have a migraine. Migraines trump being tired from doing construction work any day.

He may not realize he's doing it, but I'd try to have a serious talk with him about this - long term, you'll burn out if you're doing everything and feeling like your contribution is devalued as simply being his 'due'.
post #22 of 25
I just wanted to jump on the bandwagon here, to help cheer you on. School and food. Sheer work. I also use these things to SAVE my sanity because, compared to summer, these structure-creating-thingies have become life savers. Our deal is: dinner at 6, bath at 7, bed at 8. After the morning drama, I get to recover and start thinking about dinner. Any interest in quitting your job? Easier said than done, I know.

I am new to the boards too so I might as well do a little intro. My two kids (dd 7 yrs, ds 5 yrs) currently live with their dad in LA. I live in OR. I moved up here (best thing I ever did) and did the single mommy + Waldorf school for the past 3 1/2 years. I really lost my mind from the stress .. it was probably my damn perfectionism that screwed everything up .. and I begged my ex to take them last January. He did, and I've been eating crow ever since. I'm now working on how to "get them back". My fiance and I have been travelling to LA about once a month, and we get them for xmas, easter, summer .. in fact we had them this summer and I sent them back early because I don't do well without structure!! But now I do the day-in-day-out for my sdd and I feel so stupid because I could have been doing this for my own kids.

My sdd is really well behaved, while my kids are, well, Indigo children for lack of a better term. We are doing the public school thing and I have SO many biases from Waldorf that it all kinda drives me nuts.

Mostly, I have a terrible sadness that I lost my perspective and my kids live somewhere else now :**(.

It sounds like your love for your man is so great that you took on the world. I feel the same way about my guy. We were friends for 6 months (he was actually the best friend of the guy I was dating) and then I had that moment like you described .. the first time I looked full into his face it was OVER! And he's so honorable, so sexy.. he's a fireman, you know.. :-P
post #23 of 25
Thread Starter 

I get the last word

Well, my house is trashed. Why? Because I went on strike as of Wednesday night. I am waiting to see how long before someone realizes they are hungry. This isn't just because of him. My kids are spoiled rotten (yes, I know, my fault) so when my 5 1/2 year old said, "can i have something to drink" my response was "if you can get it" (I kind of felt bad about that though). I plan on doing this all weekend to them beacause they need it. I will clean and stuff on Sunday night (probably won't wash clothes though until my 8 year old figures out she has nothing to wear and starts griping about it like she does sometimes). I am not going to live in a pig sty but I think my point will be well taken. The pizza boxes are still laying around from Wednesday night and you can't even see the kitchen counter, but when they run out of plates and cups, they will realize that I don't HAVE to do anything and maybe it will make them appreciate it a bit more. Maybe this is wrong but I don't really care. I am on strike (read as I am taking a vacation) and I am making a point. :

Can anyone say "bitter....party of one"
post #24 of 25
God Bless you worn out. About 6 months ago I moved in with my fiance who has 3 kids and I have to. Ages 2,3,5,5,8. It can be very overwhelming at times but as you know there are many good times. We both work full time jobs and don't make the greatest amount of money but we go to the store and stack up on spaghetti. You can make chicken and biscits ehich will last for a couple of days. I commend you on taking on the mothering role while thier mother is sick. My fiances kids live with us to because thier mother was abusive. Pray for strength to make it through the day and the greatest advice I could share with you is communicate with your fiance. Tell him your concerns and when all is said in done this will have made you two stronger.
post #25 of 25
How's it going??
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