I just wanted to jump on the bandwagon here, to help cheer you on. School and food. Sheer work. I also use these things to SAVE my sanity because, compared to summer, these structure-creating-thingies have become life savers. Our deal is: dinner at 6, bath at 7, bed at 8. After the morning drama, I get to recover and start thinking about dinner. Any interest in quitting your job? Easier said than done, I know.
I am new to the boards too so I might as well do a little intro. My two kids (dd 7 yrs, ds 5 yrs) currently live with their dad in LA. I live in OR. I moved up here (best thing I ever did) and did the single mommy + Waldorf school for the past 3 1/2 years. I really lost my mind from the stress .. it was probably my damn perfectionism that screwed everything up .. and I begged my ex to take them last January. He did, and I've been eating crow ever since. I'm now working on how to "get them back". My fiance and I have been travelling to LA about once a month, and we get them for xmas, easter, summer .. in fact we had them this summer and I sent them back early because I don't do well without structure!! But now I do the day-in-day-out for my sdd and I feel so stupid because I could have been doing this for my own kids.
My sdd is really well behaved, while my kids are, well, Indigo children for lack of a better term. We are doing the public school thing and I have SO many biases from Waldorf that it all kinda drives me nuts.
Mostly, I have a terrible sadness that I lost my perspective and my kids live somewhere else now :**(.
It sounds like your love for your man is so great that you took on the world. I feel the same way about my guy. We were friends for 6 months (he was actually the best friend of the guy I was dating) and then I had that moment like you described .. the first time I looked full into his face it was OVER! And he's so honorable, so sexy.. he's a fireman, you know.. :-P