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school bully's mom spanked him... - Page 2

post #21 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinkerBelle
I was not referring to school, just what I have seen/heard in everyday life. It just floors me sometimes.:

Funny you should mention homeschooling, though. I did HS my oldest last year. It was not a good fit for him. Or me, to be honest. He enjoys school and does much better in general, in school. His teacher is fabulous. She has a gift for teaching children that I sorely lack. He is a much happier boy now, and I am happy for him.

My middle child has autism and is in the special ed class, where he has had the same teacher for 3 yrs. He has blossomed from an almost nonverbal child, to a child who can hold somewhat of a conversation.

I think homeschooling is great. I am totally for it. I know many moms and dads who do it and do it well. It just didn't work out for us. But, that does not mean the learning has stopped at home. We still read and do other educational things together, and with his brothers and their dad. Learning at home, as you know, is not limited to homeschooling.
I thought you were saying the child was hit in the school.

I tend to wonder/question 'reports' regarding these sorts of incidents (not yours-- the person who told you they saw the child spanked in the school). It's all these years knowing Fox is out there. :

Although, and don't throw stones, there is no way my child would continue to attend any school which could not keep them safe from being beaten up. That's simply non -negotaible, no matter what my child would want. Esp when the offender is know to be abused. That's a recipe for disaster.

Further I can't see a child choosing to attend a school where they are getting battered if they had other options.

edited for spelling.
post #22 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by UUMom
I thought you were saying the child was hit in the school.

I tend to wonder/question 'reports' regarding these sorts of incidents (not yours-- the person who told you they saw the child spanked in the school). It's all these years knowing Fox is out there. :

Although, and don't throw stones, there is no way my child would continue to attend any school which could not keep them safe from being beaten up. That's simply non -negotaible, no matter what my child would want. Esp when the offender is know to be abused. That's a recipe for disaster.

Further I can't see a child choosing to attend a school where they are getting battered if they had other options.

edited for spelling.

I think you might have confused me for the OP. I didn't see any child hit in any school, nor was my child beaten up. And I agree with you.
post #23 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepies
my son was recently bullied at school (and beaten up)

well, their parents were called in, and one of the parents SPANKED her child right then/there.

this is NOT what i was hoping for at all.

so, now, basically the kid gets the message that it is OK to hit....opposite of what needed to be taught.

i was too shocked to do/say anything.

I guess I don't have a question. But, rather, I just wanted to vent. :

Thanks for listening/reading.
Did she spank him in the school? How did the administration handle that?

And how is your child doing? What was the outcome?
post #24 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by TinkerBelle
I think you might have confused me for the OP. I didn't see any child hit in any school, nor was my child beaten up. And I agree with you.
Yeah, I want to know what happened with the OP and the child in question.
post #25 of 53
that is outrageous. and ridiculous if that mother thinks that will teach him to not hit!
post #26 of 53
Thread Starter 

update:::

well,

today he was knocked down 2x at school

by a different kid.

this time ONE little girl.

He has a black eye and scratched up face.

Teacher called me and said that he "Fell." .....................

He came home and said he was pushed. I'll find out more tomorrow.

This is crazy stuff I tell you.

He seems so confused. He told me today "The world is full of hitting"...

Makes me sad. He's never even been spanked, and now I have this to deal with.

:


PS> The administration (Principal) spoke to my husband and told him that the mother 'spanked him right in front of me so i know it was dealt with' --gasp-- DH didn't have comment to her.

I may be going in there for a 1/1 chat soon.

We can opt for private school, but all of those are 'religious' around here.

This school SHOULD be safe. Nice neighborhood. High "test" scores (the best in area). Or we could afford to move, but it would really shake up our long term goals (house is almost paid for).
post #27 of 53
Do you work outside of the home?
post #28 of 53
Thread Starter 

Homeschooling

Homeschooling isn't for me.
I know people who do it. It can be great. Just no way it would work out.

We try to do as much 'homeschooling' as we can in summer, and it just never goes the way I plan. I 'homeschool' also after school everyday and weekend.

Not interested in doing it full time. It is a hard job though. Everyone that does it should be proud.

So, like I mentioned. We'd have to move or use a religious school... if it comes to that.
post #29 of 53
Okay, but it's already "come to that".

Sorry to be blunt, but you cannot continue to place your child inot an unsafe place. Especially if you are available to him. It's not fair to him.
post #30 of 53
Thread Starter 
i am going to talk to the teacher/principal in the AM.
plan to set up meeting with them.

homeschooling full time is really not something I feel comfortable with undertaking. like i said, we try in the summer and it doesn't really work out.
post #31 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepies
i am going to talk to the teacher/principal in the AM.
plan to set up meeting with them.

homeschooling full time is really not something I feel comfortable with undertaking. like i said, we try in the summer and it doesn't really work out.
But you feel comfortable sending him to school where he's been beaten up (at least) twice??
:

Why not homeschool now while looking for a religious or private school??

And what didn't work about it? There are HSing forums here that might really be able to help you.
post #32 of 53
Thread Starter 
((not to keep posting))--looking like a chat room...

but. i am not comfortable with it.

that's why i am asking for advice.

and talking to the teachers.

thought they were on top of it. until today.

if things don't improve, worst case, we'd take him out of kindergarten and move, and send him next year.

he just turned 5 in july, so it wouldn't be a set back.

and yes, id work with him. as much as i can.

not everyone is cut out to be a teacher, it is a difficult job to say the least. i do my best, but i realize i am not meant for the job.
post #33 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepies
not everyone is cut out to be a teacher, it is a difficult job to say the least.
But at 5 you wouldn't even have to be a teacher, just a mama. I'm very sorry--I'm trying, but I just don't understand your logic her.

I understand that you're going to talk with people, but you've talked to the principal before about your sons safety and it obviously did nothing. What's going to make this any different? Your son is not safe in this school. What are you going to do if he gets beat up again and just refuses to go to school? The last thing you need is a jaded 5 year old.

At least talk to a lawyer...
post #34 of 53
Thread Starter 
Thanks.
Those are all very good points.
All of which I shall bring up.

I'm trying to go over in my mind all the questions for which I need answers.
post #35 of 53
Sleepies:
I completely relate to just *knowing* that homeschool would not work out for you. I know right now (and my DD's only 2) that I would not be a good homeschooler. And if my daughter was put in a position that your son is in I would do just what you are doing, going in to talk with the principle on a one on one meeting. I'd be requesting to speak with the teacher that told me my child "fell". I'd be looking into the private religious schools (even though I'm not religious in the least). My DH and I want to eventually get a house and pay it off, and if this were the house we had in a nice neighborhood (for the most part) instead of looking into moving (because you never know, there might be an even worse bully in the next town over) I'd be looking seriously into the private schools and just make a point to reiterate at home (if my child were enrolled there) that the religious portions of the school are just to learn, and not necessarily be believed, that some people do but others believe other things (and then I'd occassionally try to have little convos about different faiths).

CMM:
You've admitted that you can't understand from SLeepies perspective why she cannot homeschool, so instead of pressuring her or trying to make her feel guilty, could you try and be supportive in some other way? Like, could you help her be productive in the path she has chosen to take? (Maybe suggesting questions she can ask the local private schools?)

I just don't want Sleepies to feel beaten down for not doing the homeschooling thing, when homeschooling REALLY IS NOT meant for EVERYONE. KWIM? (I'm not trying to be mean, rude or anything, so please don't read it in that way. )
post #36 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by sleepies
my son was recently bullied at school (and beaten up)

well, their parents were called in, and one of the parents SPANKED her child right then/there.

this is NOT what i was hoping for at all.

so, now, basically the kid gets the message that it is OK to hit....opposite of what needed to be taught.

i was too shocked to do/say anything.

I guess I don't have a question. But, rather, I just wanted to vent. :

Thanks for listening/reading.
You know, such thinking doesn't surprise me. We have a 'problem' child that lives on our street. You know, 11 years old, throwing stones at windows, threatening people. He was raised in an environment where his Mother did not agree with spanking. Which I fully support. However, Mother and Father would often get into violent drunken physical fights in front of little boy when he was younger. She might as well as spanked him for all the damage that has been done by witnessing such violence. Furthermore, he once told me that his Mother had stated that if someone hits him... if he doesn't hit that child back, then she will hit him (her son).

It's honestly no surprise to me that so many children grow up damaged.
post #37 of 53
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mama Poot
No wonder the kid is a bully.
:
post #38 of 53
Quote:
Although, and don't throw stones, there is no way my child would continue to attend any school which could not keep them safe from being beaten up. That's simply non -negotaible, no matter what my child would want. Esp when the offender is know to be abused. That's a recipe for disaster.
For those of you with this same thought. How many of you have ever been a teacher or worked in the schools? Teachers, in most cases, can not stop a fight from happening, though once it occurs they should stop it. That does not mean that it won't happen again. A student who will hit or beat up another still has to go through due process. He/she is protected by federal law. There are steps that must occur and proccesses to follow. No one is able to just throw a kid out for one fight! He can be suspended (though in Kindergarten after the first fight most schools wouldn't, maybe a 24 hour removal) To actually be expelled a child must have multiple suspensions or make specific death threats, or bring a weapon to school. Teachers can make sure the kids don't sit near each other, aren't in line together, etc. But it doesn't stop that child (who may be bullied at home) from jumping out of their seats and running up and pounding someone before the teacher can get there.

Sleepies, I am so sorry this happened to your son, and to the bully
post #39 of 53
Please check out any religious schools you consider to learn about what their culture of non violence (or violence) is, corporal punishment etc.

If you pull him out for another year, at this young an age, that could be a great option. It sounds like he could start K in another year and be fine? (although probably not at this school!) My kids didn't start formal schooling until almost 6. If he is home at 5 I don't think you need to do any formal written work at home, if that is what is keeping you from having him home. Search for "Unschoolers" and "unschooling" parents, they may be helpful here for this kind of thing.
post #40 of 53
This is an article from The Natural Child Project about how using force to get your way starts in the home with the parent modelling bullying: http://www.naturalchild.org/robin_gr...n_bullies.html




Pat
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