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PTA--Like I don't feel guilty enough all on my own. - Page 2

post #21 of 64
I guess I am really lucky... DD's school splits PTA meetings. One month at 6pm (pizza and childcare provided) and the next month at like 10am, back and forth. I go when I can manage and refuse to feel bad when I can't. The events are school are fun highlights but they are nothing compared to day in, day out, good parenting.
post #22 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shonahsmom
Its bloody impossible!

Because on top of the voluntary stuff, there is a half day every time I turn around, Parent-Teacher conferences (which are pretty much mandatory), report card pick up days (we have to physically pick up and sign for report cards), school concerts and recitals (which being there for dd when she's performing is WAY more important than attending a meeting to vote on which day of the week we're going to sell t-shirts) etc, etc, etc... there is only so much time I can take off in a year and SOME of that time, atleast some small percentage needs to be allotted for when DD or I am sick or when we, oh, I don't know, take a week long vacation once every three years.
Oh yeah... all THAT crap. I'm tired thinking of it.
post #23 of 64
I am a married SAHM and i find that OBNOXIOUS!!!

It isnt her business - really. Even if you did SAH and had all the tie in the world it isnt her business what you do. Unless you sign a contract with the school for your dd to attend stating you will do x amount of hours she can kiss it.

My mom works pt, goes to school pt and does 2 hours a week at my sisters school. There has been 1 other mom to do anything in the classroom in the last 3 years so i dont think the majority have time for this.

How irritatig. What a mess her life must be to have to bitch at someone else :
post #24 of 64
That woman has some nerve!


post #25 of 64
WOW. I am so sorry that happened to you. Don't spend you energy thinking about this woman. I know it's hard to brush
off, but if she feels the right to be so rude, I think you have the right to laugh and forget about her words all together.

I don't think it's rude or snarky to defend yourself either. I would have stopped her way before she had a chance to ask
all her questions. Right after she said "Well, we all have our challenges." I would have simply set her straight.
post #26 of 64
I am so sorry she was such a *explitive*. I feel your frustration, as I work FT and there are rarely meetings that I can attend. Not that, frankly, I really want too. Using my family time to be at PTO meetings is not my idea of a good time. The PTO moms tolerate me, but have stopped asking me to get involved.

Though now I am helping with fundraising for a specific project my oldest wants to be involved with (an exchange program). So I am trying to juggle work with helping them raise money and I am feeling like I am going nuts. So, STAY AWAY FROM THE PTO!!! They suck you in and suck you dry!
post #27 of 64
Hugs Mama. Screw her, and her passive aggressive crap.

I"ll borrow that can of whoopass and open it up on her for you. :
post #28 of 64
That sucks. Some people need to join reality.

I will have to say that her reaction to you kind of reminds me of the health teacher from Donnie Darko- "Sometimes I doubt your committment to Sparkle Motion!"

:
post #29 of 64


Don't let her get you down!
post #30 of 64
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyV
Hugs Mama. Screw her, and her passive aggressive crap.

I"ll borrow that can of whoopass and open it up on her for you. :


post #31 of 64
"We all have our challenges"

I guess she is yours?

Ugh, I missed my 1st graders last night. Oh well. Family time seemed more important. We played in the rain, watered the deck, had baths and brownies. I think that will go further than the check mark next to my name at PTA. Not like i can be involved easily. 4 kids in 3 different schools and a grad student DH plus the toddler. Oh yeah, no I don't have built in babysitters- they are siblings. DD has afterschool stuff every day with the music dept (I got similar related active mom comments I let drop in the spring) 2yo flakes out if I am not there at night- Can't handle it. I do work FT. I have a car, but sometimes that isn't good and not all the kids fit in it at the same time. Soccer starts tonight. 14yo still needs new shoes. It never ends- why people think they have to add to the guilt. I had one call last week telling me if they didn't find a coach 4 yo couldn't play soccer. I told him to keep calling and call me back if he was still stuck. No I don't have an hour. Really, I don't.
post #32 of 64
i'm a wahm, and i would have decked her... and i'm not a violent person! that was completely unacceptable.
post #33 of 64
OMG! What a complete b****! Who knows exactly what her deal is, but I counted 7 times she pushed the point with you. When and where is it even remotely appropriate to chastise someone in a conversation 7 times, not back down, and be that argumentative?!

It seems like she would probably behave that way with her kid too, right? Honestly, no wonder he is disruptive--imagine living with that all of the time.

I'm sorry Mama. It sounds to me like you're doing just great, no one needs to judge you.

Yech...
post #34 of 64
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shonahsmom
Its bloody impossible!

Because on top of the voluntary stuff, there is a half day every time I turn around, random no-school days, Parent-Teacher conferences (which are pretty much mandatory), report card pick up days (we have to physically pick up and sign for report cards), school concerts and recitals (which being there for dd when she's performing is WAY more important than attending a meeting to vote on which day of the week we're going to sell t-shirts) etc, etc, etc... there is only so much time I can take off in a year and SOME of that time, atleast some small percentage needs to be allotted for when DD or I am sick or when we, oh, I don't know, take a week long vacation once every three years.
I put my blinders on when reviewing the calendar because I didn't even want to think about that. My company is pretty generous with paid personal/sick days (8) and since I have been here 11+ years I also get 4 weeks vacation but guess what?? That still does not cover all the time off they get during the school year and like you said never mind if you actually do get sick or want to take some family vacation time too! :

Kama- you really are lucky!! and isn't that a shame that most schools don't recognize that 1) there are a lot of duel income families and 2) not everyone works M-F during the day. Lots of families works nights and weekends too so your school schedule can accomodate both. I think I just might need to bring it up next week....
post #35 of 64

I am pissed for you just reading your post. That woman definitely would have not received kind words from me. I do applaud your patience and class in such a situation. I would have surely made a scene.
post #36 of 64
Wow.
I've had someone tell me that I have no excuse to not be all active in the PTA because she knew a single mom with four kids who was PTA president. Some people can be so rude and insensitive. Those people suck.
post #37 of 64
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by lauradbg
OMG! What a complete b****! Who knows exactly what her deal is, but I counted 7 times she pushed the point with you. When and where is it even remotely appropriate to chastise someone in a conversation 7 times, not back down, and be that argumentative?!

It seems like she would probably behave that way with her kid too, right? Honestly, no wonder he is disruptive--imagine living with that all of the time.

I'm sorry Mama. It sounds to me like you're doing just great, no one needs to judge you.

Yech...
Thanks! That's what bothered me so much! That she KEPT pushing. Once I said, "Yeah, I would really love to be more involved, but I work full time and I live on the other side of the city and its really challenging." That should have been the END of that conversation. Whether she wanted to chalk it up to me just not giving a or wanted to take me at my word, she should've just dropped it.. but then she just kept going.
post #38 of 64
I'm queen of snark in those situations. I cant help myself. Thats just plain rude. I think it flips both ways, alot of working moms think SAHMs have all the time in the world as well. I just hate generalizations as a whole. I just want to say "mind your own business" to half the people I mean nowadays.
post #39 of 64
Hugs to you- you're doing fine. She was just being mean- ignore the bait and don't stoop to her level.
post #40 of 64
Thread Starter 
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kristine233
I'm queen of snark in those situations. I cant help myself. Thats just plain rude. I think it flips both ways, alot of working moms think SAHMs have all the time in the world as well. I just hate generalizations as a whole. I just want to say "mind your own business" to half the people I mean nowadays.
I certainly don't think that they have all the time in the world. Not at all. I do think its fair to say that, for the most part, a SAHM has more flexibility than a WOHM. I realize there are exceptions in both cases.
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