PTA--Like I don't feel guilty enough all on my own. - Page 3

[mamajama]

Originally Posted by Shonahsmom

I certainly don't think that they have all the time in the world. Not at all. I do think its fair to say that, for the most part, a SAHM has more flexibility than a WOHM. I realize there are exceptions in both cases.

Well, I personally think that in most cases, a SAHP who stays home to take care of kids would have more flexibility when it comes to child-focussed activities such as the PTA. But no more flexibility in general than anyone else.

[Shonahsmom]

Originally Posted by mamajama

Well, I personally think that in most cases, a SAHP who stays home to take care of kids would have more flexibility when it comes to child-focussed activities such as the PTA. But no more flexibility in general than anyone else.

Child focused activities like the PTA is what this thread is about. That's the kind of flexibility I was referring to.

Let's please, please, please not derail this thread into a SAH v WAH mommas debate. Please.

[HelloKitty]

I'm not very flexible. I need to try Yoga.


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[Kristine233]

Originally Posted by Shonahsmom

I certainly don't think that they have all the time in the world. Not at all. I do think its fair to say that, for the most part, a SAHM has more flexibility than a WOHM. I realize there are exceptions in both cases.

Prefacing by saying its not a debate, I've done both. I think both have a hard time finding time in some cases and neither is harder than the other. I find generalizations to be untrue in both situations, thats my point. Big hugs to the OP again!

Perhaps. I know I'm a SAHM of 3 kids and I pretty much single parent because Dh is a trucker and home about 2-3 times a month. After my oldest DD was severly injured in a childcare center I dont do put them in centers or with babysitters unless I'm there or know them VERY well. So this eliminates alot of things I can do. I get slack for not volunteering in the classroom or on fieldtrips, I cant, I have a child thats not in school yet and they dont want siblings in the class. The kids also can't be expected to sit through a PTA meeting for 2 hours and not get rowdy, I won't force them to do that. Between them they have alot of activities and meetings that I must get to, Dr appointments, speech therapy, teacher meetings, recitels or what not for school and up until recently OT and PT. (the joys of having a SN child, lol) I also run 2 businesses and go to school but these are both flexible since I do them from home. I do let the kids pick one non-school related activity a year to participate in, these are more flexible for us and we can pick what fits our schedule.

My point is if you are a SAHM to more than one child and dont do daycare, dont have family in the area and are single parenting at any length its pretty hard to get to activities if they dont want younger kids in tow. Personally I'd love to just bring them but some are very strict. In fact my DS's graduation from headstart they said no sibblings were allowed, period. That means I wouldn't be able to go. DS would freak out if he was the only child without a parent there and it would be too emotional for him, so I kept him home that day and we did special activities as a 3-some instead.

So yeah, some SAHMs *may* have more time but I don't think its a general rule and I refuse to make that kind of generalization. BTW I used to be a work out of home mom as well before Dh went long haul, I'd say my free time was even, lol.

[Kristine233]

Originally Posted by HelloKitty

I'm not very flexible. I need to try Yoga.


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[kama'aina mama]

But please, let's not hate on the PTA. PTA in my area is the only reason the kids have so much good stuff. I am glad my kid has music classes and a computer lab and a variety of other stuff. That's PTA money around here, so I do what I can, when I can. And when I can't? I refuse to feel guilty.

[PennyRoo]

My blood is boiling for you, mama! I have NO idea how you kept it together and refrained from tearing her a new one, but it sounds as if you handled it very gracefully. I, for one, am impressed. You have a tremendous amount on your plate - working FT, single parenthood, reliance on public transportation - and frankly you sound like a superhero. I know how hard it is to juggle working, the judgments of others, parenting, trying to do it ALL, wrestling with your own guilt - - but I have no concept of what it's like to do all that and be a single parent to boot.

"We all have our challenges?" What a complete A$$^&%! Clearly she is a clueless, entitled, judgmental, pushy person.

Keep coming here to vent if it helps. I salute you - you are doing great.

[MamaAllNatural]

Ewwww, I'm so irritated for you! :

Originally Posted by Momtwice

You say her child is aggressive. Honestly so is she.

Ah, good point.

Sorry you had to put up with that.

[sophmama]

Is there any chance you can send a letter to educate the PTA as to why they need to be understanding? I.E. expose some of the myths and guilt trips the lady used on you (without calling out her name?). I know you’re busy so time to do that might not be possible, but you won’t be the first or last single financially challenged parent they encounter and a little compassion education is in order I think.

[Shonahsmom]

Originally Posted by HelloKitty

I'm not very flexible. I need to try Yoga.


:

I do Yoga and I think I'm all flexible, but then I do it with the Yoga tape I have and girlfriend touches her knee to her nose in the table position and dispels any idea I entertain that I'm flexible. Knee to nose? Seriously, there is way to much boob and belly here for that type of thing to be going on.

[Kristine233]

Originally Posted by sophmama

Is there any chance you can send a letter to educate the PTA as to why they need to be understanding? I.E. expose some of the myths and guilt trips the lady used on you (without calling out her name?). I know you’re busy so time to do that might not be possible, but you won’t be the first or last single financially challenged parent they encounter and a little compassion education is in order I think.

Yup, I agree that sounds like a good idea. Hey, they are doing a great job and helping out. But not all parents can do that and they shouldnt have to feel guilty about it. As long as the parents are supportive of their children at home isnt that enough? I didn't know volunteering meant you were a good parent. I know plenty of volunteer parents that put on a facade in public and arent all that great when it comes to the home and kids. Yeah for the parents who can do the PTA and make a difference in our schools, but yeah for the parents who are making a difference in our kids at home as well.

[kama'aina mama]

My DD does a perfect King Pigeon. A total lack of boobs and such is a huge advantage, for sure.

[Shonahsmom]

Originally Posted by sophmama

Is there any chance you can send a letter to educate the PTA as to why they need to be understanding? I.E. expose some of the myths and guilt trips the lady used on you (without calling out her name?). I know you’re busy so time to do that might not be possible, but you won’t be the first or last single financially challenged parent they encounter and a little compassion education is in order I think.

I think I might like to write a letter... but how to get my point across without sparking any mommy wars and without putting up more of a wedge between myself and this group? They are tres clique-ey.

[itsang]

to you. "Forced Volunteerism" is one of my major pet peeves!!

[Irishmommy]

Please post in Learning at School.

[lauren]

bump-
returning original thread
reminder -- no criticizing mod actions or UA

[Shonahsmom]

Originally Posted by lauren

bump-
returning original thread
reminder -- no criticizing mod actions or UA

Whoo-hoo!!! Thank you!

[mamaley]

Yuck...she sounds just awful. I could go on and on...but I'll just offer a

[OnTheBrink]

Wow - what a crappy thing for her to say/do! That's just tacky!

I think she needs to realize that it is quite possible to be an involved mother without being at your child's school during working hours.

Maybe you could come up with a list of volunteer opportunities for working/otherwise-busy moms. We have that list at my daughter's school and many parents are involved who rarely get the chance to be at school. They cut out lesson materials, make phone calls, etc. They do it at home on their own time - so now schedule conflicts and no babysitters needed.

Of course, that's only if you are looking for ways to be involved like that. If not, that's fine, too! Unless it's mandatory that you volunteer (like my son's cooperative school), you are doing just fine!

[1xmom]

You definately handled it better than me. Furthermore, I would NOT have offered her any type of explanation. She was very tacky and rude.