PTA drama venty venty vent

[Losgann]

I got talked/volunteered into being PTA volunteer coordinator this year at my kid's school. I've been volunteering since ds began kindergarten and he's in 4th now. Everybody knows me. Last year I had over 60 volunteer hours in 2 months time. That's how much I'm up there. I won volunteer of the year last year.

It's been nothing but drama since this year began! I'm seriously tempted to hand their position back to them and tell them politely to shove it.

They have NO LIST of any of the previous years volunteers. I started out this year with NO ONE. The previous PTA VC passed by me once and sort of snarkily said "Thanks for taking the position." I dunno if she still wanted it or what, but they practically begged me to take it so I did.. They were calling me two days before school started telling me they needed volunteers NOW. I gave everyone my cell phone number but did they call my cell phone number to let me know what was going on? Nope. My old home phone number that I TOLD them I wasn't at anymore.

I'm not good with people but I'm good at organizing things. All the previous years I was mostly left alone to get things done, but this year I have SO MANY TOES to get around!

The president keeps calling me saying we need people for this or that (always LAST MINUTE) and can I find someone? I tell her I can call around (the list of my kid's friends parents on my cell phone while we build our database of volunteers) and if not then I can do it.

I always manage to find one or two people at least, which is really all any of the events so far have needed. Then the president shows up with beaucoup people, and everyone is stepping on each other's toes, in everybody else's way.. I hate it! The t shirt table needs TWO people tops. If even that. Last night I had me, the music teacher, the president, HER sister and her daughter. Too many cooks in the kitchen!! Money coming and going from every direction. Can't get to the t shirts for all the people behind the table.. Just, ugh!

And last night Pres mentioned how sick she was but that she'd come in and help. I mentioned it wouldn't be a problem for me to come in and do things. She gave me attitude all night because she had to "be there", after I told her I'd handle it!

Oh, and last night the kids and I got there early for meet the teacher night to help set up the membership/spirit shirt table. My kids are energetic and they like to play. There was no one there yet because we were almost an hour early. So my kids are runnin' around a bit, staying out of the way of heavy boxes and things, having fun. The president's daughter asked her mom if she could play with my kids (where my kid's are is always where the party is at ) and her mom said something along the lines of "No, they don't do what they are supposed to." : Yeah my kids are a little hyper (they are 9 and 6) and they'd rather entertain themselves than be underfoot. And yeah they are a little boisterous. But they aren't hellions. I was really offended. Her kids are A honor roll, little helpers. They're perrrfect. They also aren't autistic or bipolar or adhd either. Basically I have two six year olds.

I don't understand how they can beg me for help and look down their noses at me at the same time.

I told the president I'd called "R" to come help and she had no idea who I was talking about. So then R shows up and is talking pretty familiarly with Pres (and acting like I'm not even there) and I'm just thinking "She had NO idea who you were 5 minutes ago." It's just so clique-y and stupid. It wasn't that way as much last year.

I'm really thinking of cutting down my volunteer hours and handing VC position over to someone else. It would be nice to even get a "hey, thanks for coming in." I didn't even get that!

It's just sucking right now.. It's hard to motivate yourself to do something when you know it's not going to be appreciated.

[CarrieMF]

IMO, you need to tell the president that YOU are the coordinator and that if she is going to keep stepping in and making issues than you are no longer going to be the VC. Tell the president that you need more time(give a set amount) prior to any event to get volunteers or there will be no volunteers there. A week is good.

To get a volunteer list when events are coming up see if the teachers will let you send a paper home with the kids. At the beginning of the year here the teachers all send home a paper that parents can put whether they can volunteer and for what types of things they can volunteer. Then when events come up you are called and more lists come out(like for hot lunch days) and you can check the box that goes back with the order on whether you will be there.

We don't have formal PTA's, just a Parents Group. Not as many people go to the parent's group meetings but they have a fairly large list of people(okay, mothers) who will come and help when needed. There were about 15 who showed up for the Cut and Paste group last year with less than 24hours notice. Some could only stay for an hour but that didn't matter.

[boongirl]

I agree that you need to have a very frank and blunt conversation with this pres. She needs to know that you know how to do the job and that you are going to do it and that she needs to back off. She is helicoptering you, hovering around you and doing your job for you. I would politely ask her to either back off or you will have to quit the position. You could still volunteer in your child's classroom whether you are in the pta or not. That just sounds like too much stress and mess for my taste.

[chellemarie]

If you really enjoy volunteering with the PTA, you should talk with them and try to resolve the issue so you can continue to do so comfortably.

If you really enjoy volunteering, maybe you should ditch the PTA and look for other ways to share your time and talent. School libraries typically need a lot of help. Maybe you could help in a classroom or start a volunteer reading program.

[medeanj]

Yeowzer! Big mama!

I only have a pair of toddlers, but I started reading Queen Bee Moms & Kingpin Dads by Rosalind Wiseman and what you described scared the bageezus out of me. I am bracing myself for the future onslaught.

I agree with the other posters that you need to be frank, but not snarky, to the PTA prez that if she wants you to do an effective job, that she needs to stop micromanaging you. Also it seems that her timing in organizing events is not practical.

Consider having the both of you get together at a coffee shop or each other's house and sit down and discuss the upcoming year's events. Even if an event is not set in stone yet, let her know you need to get this on your radar so you will be ready to get to work if it does come into fruition. I agree at least a week's notice is fair, two week's notice if you are dealing with a lot of working parents.

[Losgann]

update

So tonight is the 2nd meet the teacher night. I hadn't heard anything from the president as to what all we're selling tonight so I gave her a call. After she told me I told her we'd need 3 people, tops. Then she told me that she all ready had 2 people lined up to help.

I asked her "Okay. Am I doing the volunteer coordinating or are you?" Not in a snarky way. She said "Oh you! Definitely you! I just had her right there when she offered so I thought snag her while she's there." I told her it was cool, and that I would handle everything after tonight. I asked about the volunteer cards parents filled out and gave her Tuesday night and she said she'd email those to me, but all she had so far were BOARD positions, not VOLUNTEER positions (come on, parents! Get with it!)

Oh.. and I volunteered myself to Spirit Sales. I loved doing it last year. Filling the orders, dashing the halls to get them all filled.

Sitting at home, napping half the afternoon away.. I need to get outta the house! Especially the next few days while Dh is working third shift and sleeping all day. That's exhausting!

So hopefully I won't have any more issue, and if I do I think I can make my point without being snarky. I didn't realize what she was doing until you mamas pointed it out.