Tired of forced frugality.....

[FillingMyQuiver]

I'm tired of living in a state of forced frugality *sigh* I want to be frugal b/c I CHOOSE to be frugal, NOT b/c I HAVE to be frugal.:

DH was laid off from a programming job March '05. He worked odd jobs til Aug '05 when we moved to another state to live w/ my parents b/c DH couldn't find work. Within a week, he found a job managing a local Radio Shack. He's been there a year now. We moved into an apt in March '06. Since then, DH's boss has cut his pay SEVERELY and it might happen again at the end of this month b/c the store is just not producing the way the owner wants it to. It's not my DH's fault. The owner has poor CS policies and the store is just in an outright BAD location. So instead of cutting the profit margin, the owner cuts my DH's paycheck. DH is the ONLY FT employee at this store. He works 48hrs/ week (EVERY hour the store is open) and does NOT get paid OT b/c the owner is an a**

We live in forced frugality. And I'm TIRED of it!!! I've cut every bill imaginable. Let's see:
~cable, nope, got rid of it.
~cable modem, dropped it to the cheaper plan (speed is a little slower than DSL) Less expensive then dial-up and DSL and we need internet for DH to job hunt and post his resumes, etc
~cut our last electric bill by $30
~cut our water bill
~food bill has always been $300 for a family of 2 adults, 1 toddler, and 1 just starting to eat solids 10mo
~don't drive ANYWHERE!!! I have gone 26 days so far on ONE tank of gas!!

We have NO debt so all we have are the neccesities and we are BARELY making it.

What else can I do??? We don't use disposable anything, so I can't give that up, if I got a job I'd have to pay for childcare so it just doesn't make sense, I can't take on any kids to do childcare b/c quite frankly, I have a hard enough time w/ my 2 right now.

I just feel at a loss. Poor DH is defeated. He's applied for jobs that he's overqualified for and can't get hired. He's applied for jobs that he's 95% qualified for and they don't want to train him for the last 5%, he's applied for every job under the freaking sun and NOTHING!!!

I know that there are so many more mamas out there in worse situations than we are, and y'know what, I am in awe of them. I just don't know how they do it.

The positive that is coming out of this, well, when the Holiday Helper thread starts up, I'm signing up for whatever helping I can do.

[Amys1st]

He should check into his employeee rights not getting over time and his paycut.

[FillingMyQuiver]

Originally Posted by Amys1st

He should check into his employeee rights not getting over time and his paycut.

We did look into the not getting OT and what his boss is doing is illegal and when DH finds a new job, we do plan on taking legal action for the OT. But right now, it's one of those situations where it's the only job available and he doesn't want to rock the boat too much b/c he doesn't have anything to fall back on, y'know?? Hmmm.... not sure about the paycut though???

[Village Mama]

I feel ya mama! It gets tiring sometimes.
I feel better usually this time of year because I can do lots of food prep, freezing and canning to save money through winter.( kind of like my own personal frugal challange.... I feel good when I do everything that I can!)We were thinking of having a garage sale to try and get the muffler on our vehicle fixed... but we are so broke that we wont have any money to have a bunch of change for it! I get you though... it can really bring you down sometimes. I hope things look up for you.

[emilys_mom1]

I'd be very careful to not piss off his boss or continue to bring up the OV issue or he will find a reason to just fire him.

Here is what I have done so far to same money on our electric bill:

July bill- $560 (hottest month of the year)
•After bill came here is what I changed:
1.switch pool pump from 4 hours to 2 hours
2.turned off A/C (was set between 74-78)
3.started hang drying cloths on line (still have to dry some cloths)
4.bought fans (about $50)
5.bought black out curtain (about $100)
6.dishwasher heater was already turned off)


August bill- $411
•After bill came here is what I changed:
1.lowered hot water heater from 125 to between 125 and 90
2.Called to get new rate plans mailed to us to review options
3.vaccum fridge coils
4.turned off fridge in garage
5.adjusted took out some light bulbs in bathrooms, and master bed room.

Here are some other things that I have done:
Make grocery list and only buy what is on the list
bought vinigar and baking soda to clean with instead of expensive cleaners
Only fill up gas tank at the cheapest place in town (it is buy the cheapest grocery store)
No more starbucks, make all my drinks at home.
I'm going to look on-line for cheaper pool parts and supplies (if not longs Drug store has them cheaper than Leslies Pool Supply.
I'm going to switch the water sprinklers to 15 minutes instead of 30 at the end of this month, as it will be cooling off. (average water bill is 220 for 2 months)

[Daisie125]

Subbing, I'm right there with you, mama. It stinks!

[FillingMyQuiver]

Originally Posted by emilys_mom1

I'd be very careful to not piss off his boss or continue to bring up the OV issue or he will find a reason to just fire him.

Here is what I have done so far to same money on our electric bill:

Thank you mama for your list of ideas, unfortunately, we already do most of them : It's funny b/c I got a book from the library called "Cut your Bills in Half" I read the whole thing cover to cover and came out of it w/ NOTHING. Why?? Because we're already doing everything they list. Everytime a mama lists an idea on here on how to cut expenses, I either add it to our repetoire or nod in agreement cuz we're already there. I just don't know what else to do. I've tried TPing stuff but y'know, there are so many mamas trying to TP stuff right now that nothing is selling. We can't have a yard sale, well, cuz we have no yard, we live in an apt. Our grocery bill is as low as it is b/c I menu plan EVERYTHING, cook all our food from scratch, and clean w/ BS/ vinegar/ borax. We don't eat out or even have an entertainment fund. I've taken to making the kids clothes b/c I can get fabric and patterns for free from my mom. I knit all of DD's longies for this upcoming cold seasons and I'm even making them both woollen undershirts from wool interlock I bought BEFORE the $$ struggles.

I guess there's only so far that you can go before you can't cut anymore, short of not using lights in the house AT ALL or not showering/ bathing/ washing clothes to cut the water bill.

We live an hour outside of DC so it's somewhat expensive. We can't walk anywhere b/c even though we're "close" to the city, we're in the country and the grocery store has to be driven to. It's just so frustrating.

I just don't know how mamas in worse situations survive it. I live in a constant state of anxiety and stress right now. And there is so much that we'd like to save for but there's nothing come the end of the month.

[srain]

It sounds like your situation has been really frustrating for over a year, and that there isn't much you can do to improve things in your current location. Are you tied to the area, or are you ready to make a BIG change and move somewhere with better prospects? Are you looking for work yourself?

[FillingMyQuiver]

Originally Posted by srain

It sounds like your situation has been really frustrating for over a year, and that there isn't much you can do to improve things in your current location. Are you tied to the area, or are you ready to make a BIG change and move somewhere with better prospects? Are you looking for work yourself?

We're tied to the area in that my family lives VERY close and it's hard for me to live far from them (we lived in NJ for 3yrs, 5hrs from my family). So I wouldn't say a BIG change. Also, our lease isn't up til end of March and to break it would be 3mo rent (something we don't have). Mind you, DH has also been applying to jobs out of the area and hasn't heard from them either. He does have a contingent offer, but it's for a gov't job and the hiring process could take up to 9mo to complete. We're in month 5 now I'm not looking for work b/c DH and I believe strongly in my being a SAHM, so he would get a PT job before I went back to work. This option just sucks b/c it would mean more time away from the family.

I guess I know what options are out there, maybe I was just looking for a vent and some sympathy

[KateKat]

I don't have any advice to offer, but am in a similar situation and can sympathize. It sucks when you're college educated, work hard and are actually good at your job, work 50/60 hour weeks, and still cannot make ends meet financially.

I like the business I'm in, but it will never pay the bills. I know I need to make a major change in my life and get a new career, but don't know what else I want to do. Also, when I change careers, I know that I will have to start at 0 again, probably as an assistant or secretary, and that makes me sad. I may not make much $ in my current job, but I do have some accomplishments in my business.

[moms3kids]

Oh mama, i hear ya, me and my dh have lived like this for 4 years since moving into our own home we are buying, now it seems for the first time things decided to change for the better... REALLY it will happen keep your hopes HIGH! Me and my dh had our first child when i was only 16, he was only 21, not a good start at all! LOL we managed to get married have 2 more kids buy our own home (ok it's a trailor but still) in order for us to do all this we needed to cut out a TON of stuff, and HAD to live frugally, in 02 after 911 he was hit with a lay off of a good job, 6 month of unemployment and me doing in home day care to make up for his decreased pay, we got in a lot of dept over that 6 months, but worked our way out of it, he got a full time job but was still paid less then he was before, so we cut back things again...
Finally after 3 years of the crapy but stable job he had he got something better, it is his life long caree goal of going a police officer, he got the job by kissing *** and not to much more... really sad but he got what he wanted, he had to spend a ton of time away from us in doing 'free' work and lots of other stuff, we were at the point of HATING our home (trailor) b/c frankly we had out grown it and it need some minor repairs, ect... we didn't think we could ever get out from under then when the same week that dh got his new job my grandparnets offered to buy this place off from us and move my dad into it and help us get our dream home!!! we tried to get the to help us 5 years ago when we had to buy what our crappy non existant credit alowed which was a used trailor, b/c they didn't want to help us then b/c thier words, " you have so much against you, your age, divoice rates, to many kids" ( i was currently pregnant with our second child, my grandparnets only had 1 child my dad who's pretty much a low life, sorry but it's true... well now that we have 3 kids and have made it threw hell and back they are willing to help... not compaining just stating facts... We are thankful and take God many times a day for what we have finally gotten, it can happen doing loose hope!!!

[melissel]

mama, that's so hard. We just came through a phase like while DH was in a "sales" job that was sucking the life, blood, and savings out of this family. Thankfully, things are better now (he finally managed to find his way into something new), but I so hear you.

One thing that someone here suggested on another thread that has gotten me going--can you scour garage sales and thrift stores and find things to sell on the TP or eBay? Selling will get better as soon as the summer is over and people are home regularly again. My one local Goodwill store is pretty weak, but I've found a few things in just two trips that could probably net me at least $15 on eBay. I know that's not a lot, but every penny counts (like I need to tell YOU!). Also, what about mystery shopping? It's always seemed kind of labor intensive for me (I already work almost full time), but hey, if I had the time and all that paper pushing got me $5 in hand and a free pizza for my kids, I'd do it in a second. If you sew, can you take in piecework or repair jobs? Can you knit inexpensive longies to sell? Collect stuff off Freecycle to sell? (I know some people think that's unethical, but hey, it's still being saved from the landfill, and someone who needs something gets it cheaply, and you make a few dollars for being the go-between.) Do market research surveys, medical/cosmetic testing, etc. (if you're not nursing, of course)? Sell your plasma? (I'm only half ) Negotiate a rent discount with your landlord in exchange for handiwork? Is there an Angel Food near you?

http://angelfoodministries.org/

Or any kind of food pantry? It sounds like you guys would qualify for something, and there's no shame in looking for help when you need it.

It sucks so much, I know. Your poor DH must be so frustrated too. More coming your way...

[CerridwenLorelei]

has he tried

a headhunter?? I know that is sometimes a last resort but sometimes people have good luck with them.

[p.s]

You are doing an awesome job keeping expenditures down!
Reading your posts, it sounds like there is not really any more room to go in the frugal aspect.

It sounds like the only way to change the financial situation is to increase income.

How about looking into opportunities to work from home? If you go onto the working mamas forum of MDC, this has been discussed in several threads: tutoring, online computer stuff.

What skills do you have? And how can you market them? What kind of clientele could you sell yourself to? I see you have 2 kids? Can you take in some kids to watch? Babysit? Working mamas (myself included) are ALWAYS DESPERATE to find an awesome care provider. That could bring in at a minimum a couple hundred a week.
Have you considered doing training from home so that you could work from home? There is one MDC working mama who does computer programming from home.

Let us know how you are doing. Keep us posted!

[p.s]

I wanted to add...

Hang in there!
You are doing the right thing! And the BEST for your family! And clearly also the best thing for the enviroment and mother earth.

I strongly believe in what goes around...comes around. So I just know that if you and your husband keep on the honorable path you have chosen, that better times, easier times WILL come.

[HappyNewMama]

Just wanted to chime in and say that sometimes it really does feel awful to not have extra money and to feel like you are doing everything that you possibly could and there is no way you could cut back any further. Blah. I feel ya! Sometimes the frugality is really tiring and it is stressful to feel that you can't cut back anything else.
Maybe you should plant a money tree in the backyard? (j/k, of course! )

[FillingMyQuiver]

Originally Posted by HappyNewMama

Maybe you should plant a money tree in the backyard? (j/k, of course! )

*sigh* if only I had a backyard to plant in *sigh*

[HappyNewMama]

I don't have a backyard either! But if you find a money tree (I mean a real tree that grows real money, not a feng shui one) then let me know, okay?

[Thystle]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


The tech field is very dead in most parts of the country. If your hubby wants to keep in the field, the best thing he can do is more schooling or technical certs.

My hubby is having to do both even though he also is waaaaay over qualified for most jobs! He works 7 days a week (over 90 hours a week... 10-14 hours a day... he works from home and can multi-task) and also goes to school full time at night (3 nights a week + 10-30 hours of homework a week). He is also updating his various certs. : He hates it all!!!

It sucks but without it, he will be considered "too far out of the loop" for any remaining good tech jobs.


The only good thing about it is that when you are at a reduced income you can get REALLY good financial aid!




Have you applied for food stamps, WIC, energy assistance, or any help? I know many people do NOT want to... but it is there to help you!



Also you might want to check out Craigslist in DC for free stuff, jobs and focus groups and such... http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/

We have found alot of good free and cheap stuff on there. And hubby has found work on there before too! And it's a good place to find local focus groups where you can make a little extra cash.



Good luck!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mama kate]

Since you don't want to take on any other kids a few other possibilities you may want to try.

ironing for people (it is minimal for elctricity & would be amazed what people pay you to do ( I have 2 ladies I iron for on a weekly basis they wash & hang on hangers immediately out of the dryer, The stuff the bring me I would wear they just like starch (& they provide the starch too) I charge 2.50 for pants/jackets/skirts & 1.50 for shirts

petsitting/dogwalking (charge for any mileage you drive plus fee) you could probably take your kiddos with

personal assisting (phone calls/errands/light data entry at your home) I work for a couple charge mileage & 10 & hour for my fee. I only work @ 5-10 hours a week for them but I only meet with them every other week to collect work (charge for meetings)

I do these things minus pet sitting on top of running a daycare in my home with 6 under 3. Its amazing the things people pay for someone else to do. thing about household things you know friends hate to do & put up an ad (craigslist .org is great & free)

Downside is I'm tired as heck all the time!