Is it normal to be this sensitive to media images?

[Sylith]

I don't know what forum might be best for this and I have to get it out.

This evening I was watching Fahrenheit 9/11 (I know, I'm behind the times,) and there are some shots of civilian casualties in Iraq, including several children. I sat in front of the movie for a few more minutes, but had to just turn it off because my brain fixed on those images and I could not absorb anything else afterward. I wandered around the house shaky and crying for a half hour or so.

Ever since my pregnancy with my first child, it seems like I've been growing more and more sensitized to dead or hurt children in the media. Arguably it's appropriate as applied to real, actual children in the news (or a Michael Moore documentary, or whatever.) It seems... almost crippling to me, though, that I have to be very careful about what news stories I read, or even what posts on MDC. I feel like I have no filter on my empathy, and I can't turn it off to protect myself from reactions that really aren't helpful to anybody.

Also, I have almost as much trouble with fiction. I feel like I need some sort of special warning label on anything I might read or watch; I would never, ever have watched Cold Mountain for example. Heck, several months ago I read The Giver, which is a young adult book for crying out loud, and the dead babies in that really upset me.

Right now, I'm still really upset and don't know when I will sleep. I had a baby about two months ago and, I suspect, a touch of PPD; I'm spending lots of time worrying obsessively about horrible things happening to my kids. This just fuels the flames.

Do other parents have this problem? To the extent that it feels like it's a hindrance to living in the modern world? It's one thing to know, and be appalled, that somewhere in the world some mama is trying to protect her children from bombs falling on their house. It's another thing to sit up all night crying about it.

[LynnS6]

I think part of it goes with the territory of being a new mom. My mom said that she couldn't watch the news when she had little children. I can't watch the news period.

Part of it can be related to PPD though. I too had PPD (more than a touch -- full fledged post partum anxiety.) One of the things that sometimes goes with PPD (actually PPD/OCD) is something called 'intrusive thoughts' -- basically it's your mommy hormones on overdrive. You recognize the dangers and then can't stop thinking about them. If you don't have PPD, you can usually say "yep, it's that mommy thing again", but the PPD makes it very, very difficult to turn off the thoughts.

If you are having trouble 'turning off' the thoughts, then I would definitely seek counseling for your PPD, especially if it's affecting your ability to be out in the world and parent.. This is one area where Cognitive Behavioral Therapy can really work wonders. Sometimes medications are needed too, but you can start with therapy and see.

I think becoming a parent just makes us hyper aware of danger, and of the sadness of losing children.

[Sylith]

Thanks for your reply.

Just to clarify, I have an almost-4 year old, and a new baby. The hypersensitivity started when I was pregnant with my older child and has only gotten worse ever since.

The anxiety is new, though, and definitely linked to postpartum.

[EnviroBecca]

Normal if it is not happening really often. We all have things that hit our personal triggers particularly hard. And it's fine to be sensitive to horrifying images and ideas. It's if it's happening a LOT or bothering you severely for long periods that you need to seek therapy.

[LolaK]

That happens to me if I watch a movie/TV show in which a child is being abused or mistreated in some way. I just cannot take it. It doesn't lead me to obssesive worry though, just to crying a bit and changing the channel.

Sounds like you have an overblown case of the mommy hormones, you might want to mention it to your doc if they are any good.

[srain]

I've had the same problem ever since my oldest was born 6 years ago. It's been somewhat exacerbated by my general lack of media exposure- I think people who watch TV/ movies/ read the paper/ etc. are pretty desensitized to the horror, so since I don't see it much, my reactions are stronger.

When my son was about a year old, I heard about something horrific happening to a child that I couldn't get out of my head for over a year. I thought about it many times each day, and so many times wished I just had never known....

[Finch]

For the first probably 6 mos. after ds's birth, I could *not* handle images like you describe, or news stories about killed/abducted/abused children. The images from the war still make me just about vomit from sheer horror that comes from such a visceral place that I didn't even know was there until I had my own child.

You're not weird, but given the severity and duration of your reaction, I agree you probably have some PPD. I had pretty bad PPD when ds was born, and would just cry and cry and cry buckets and literally had to stop watching and reading the news because it gave me panic attacks.

[hookahgirl]

My DD is 17 months and I STILL cant watch anything remotley violent or even sad. My DH cant really either.
Having a child is just so eye opening to the things we are normally dont find that bad!

[Brigianna]

Yes, it's completely normal. I think certain experiences, like having a child, strip away the desensitization we've all absorbed over our lives. There's nothing wrong with you.

[mika85]

Its really strange, isn't it? I've always loved children, but I've never been so sensitive towards them as I am now. Even when I was pregnant I couldn't take even hearing about a baby being harmed, it would kill me.

We all know how you feel, that's for sure. Take care of yourself, mama!

[InJoy]

Sylith, I had this exact same experience after my first son was born. That movie just shattered my world. I guess I should have known better than to watch F911. But, wow, it is way too intense for a pp woman to take in.
Go love on your babies and take good care.

[Tonia80]

I agree that it seems to be something taht occurs when you become a mom. I recall when 9-11 happened. My son was only 7 months old and I kept the tv on in our bedroom all night for 3 days straight watchuing the footage over and over. i recall a story of a nearby daycare where the teachers loaded teh babies and toddlers into shopping carts and ran down the street and men running past took off thier shirts and suit jackets to cover the babies to protect them from falling burnong debris and ash. I still cry thinking of that. I had to force myself to shut off the tv becuz I was obsessed with it. I just wanted to hold my son and nevr put him down.
I have three kids now and it never changes. I still cannot bear to see stories on tv of a child dying or being abused. It is as if I suddenly became responsible for the well being of every single child on earth.

[Finch]

Exactly, Tonia.

I see my baby's face in the face of every murdered/abused child. How can I NOT?

I don't know how spiritual you are or whatever, but I have found when I feel most helpless and most angry about the atrocities committed against children, I just pray. Really and truly. I pray for all the mamas and children out there, and hug and hold my baby extra close that day.

[Sylith]

I appreciate the responses. It's nice to know I'm not the only one.

I guess I just never anticipated, prior to having kids, how emotionally raw and vulnerable parenting can be. I guess the more you love, the more you open yourself up to pain, you know?

I do have an appointment with my midwives to talk about PPD, and if things don't improve, I'm prepared to get some more help.

Thanks.

[Tonia80]

Best of luck to you. As a mom who has dealt with PPD and PP anxiety I know what it can be like. Hopefully thinsg will smooth out for you or you can get the help if it is needed.

[julesmom]

You are definitely not alone. I am still haunted by a video image of a child with his mother during Hurricane Katrina. It was after that I realized I would not ever watch the news/hear stories about children as I did before becoming a mother.

And really what is more understandable...to be emotionally affected at the sight of children in distress/killed/abused/etc. or to be desensitized to it?

Take good care...

[katies_mama]

This is a great article, and it should help you feel "normal" in the sense that a lot of women visualize awful things happening to their children in the months after birth. It can be a disorder, and as you read the article you can determine if you have these issues, but the good news is, there is help out there, and you are not alone!

http://www.self.com/magazine/article...06ppocd_1_of_8

[SneakyPie]

I agree that this is perfectly normal. Honestly I don't think it will eventually feel like it's restricting normal life, though. I feel that our culture is addicted to horrifying images and even to horrifying fiction. For me it is enough that horrible things exist at all -- I don't need to watch movies or read books about them, or rehash them on the news. It's plenty to just try to do my part to help. But I have known this about myself from a very young age -- Schindler's List came out many years before I ever had kids and I didn't watch that, won't watch the Rwanda movie, etc - not out of denial but because I know I don't need the reinforcement in order to be conscious of the realities.

I'm sorry somebody didn't warn you about F911. My husband was spooked for months. I admire the artists and journalists and survivors who will tell the stories, and know that I can only hear so much detail at a time.

[Finch]

Originally Posted by julesmom

You are definitely not alone. I am still haunted by a video image of a child with his mother during Hurricane Katrina.

Oy, I just could not watch any of that footage, it gave me such anxiety attacks and made me so heartsick and literally sick on my stomach. Those mamas and those poor kids and babies.....

[Imogen]

!!!!