Talking to Partner about $$$

[jlutgendorf]

How do you do it?

We are in desperate need of a $$$ overhaul. The past month and 1/2 we've each gone -$500 in our bank accounts (him twice!).

I've gotten back to tracking our spending every other day and I'm working on a budget. I'm reading two books about how to manage money as a couple and I really think we can do this. (he doesn't think we need "self help" books!)

Except whenever I talk to my partner, we just end up bickering! We agree to a budget and then when I make sure we stick to it, he gets grumpy. When I try to talk to him about paying down our credit cards by XX amount and saving XX amount every month regularly, he argues with me about how we can't do that, we can't afford it, it will limit us, etc.

He's fine with me being in charge of the $$, but when I come up with ways to save, he shoots them all down.

I know part of it is I talk $$ when I pick him up from work, and he's tired. So I need to not do that anymore. I just know there must be some way to talk to him about money, without setting him on defensive. Maybe I'm approaching things the wrong way? Or I'm getting too drastic too fast?

How do you talk to your partner about money?

~Julia

[michelle524]

1

[MOM2ANSLEY]

We bicker, but we bicker about everything....just us
I ell dh he can handle the $$$$ and he backs off usually

[josybear]

we've gotten to the point where dh KNOWS i'm better with money and he simply trusts me. i give him 'pocket money' now and then, but mostly his wallet only has id and a library card in it. sometimes one of us notices that he needs new pants or something, so i give him, say, 30$, and if he can find 4 pairs at a thrift store instead of one pair at the mall then he gets all happy.
for us, the key is that he trusts me and i trust him. i keep him up to date and involve him in major decisions, but mostly it's my job and when we spend less and save more it makes me very happy.
could you ask him if he could simply trust you with the money?