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The September almost-4 tribe!!! - Page 8

post #141 of 168
Thread Starter 
yeah, I'm wiped by the end of the day, so I don't have energy to put them down to sleep, and get up again. Being a single mom sucks sometimes. If my ex was here, the kids would be to bed by 9 30. arrgggg. he's coming to visit next week, so I'll get a much needed break!

fern~ I'd just put the TP up really high, where Elwynn can't reach it. That's what I have to do here, actually. I've had whole rolls melt in the toilet more than once.: no more TP dispenser!
Yeah, I don't give H a nap anymore, but sasa gets one only before 3 pm, but of course half the time, she is crazy by 4 or 5, and has to have a nap for everyones sake.:

rynna~ much healing energy to your little ones.
post #142 of 168
Bella couldn't nurse, she was too congested. Both girls are grunting and wheezing now; I got scripts for albuterol for both of them and I'll be nebbing them as soon as we get home. BeanBean has a cold, he's sneezy and drippy and hoarse, but he's ridiculously energetic and happy for a "sick" kid. I told him that he could have "real medicine," rather than everyday medicine as a special treat. He's happy to be "sick enough." In some ways, Bean is very, very strange.
post #143 of 168
Rynna, hope you all are feeling well soon!! I really laughed about your post about Boobah. I had a 'bit' of sensory issues when I was little and wouldn't wear anything that had elastic, except this red pair of tights. I just wore them all the time I wish I could find a picture, I still think fondly of those tights

I'm so glad Razi has never put TP rolls in the toilet. Fishing that out is so not something I could handle lately!
post #144 of 168
Quote:
BooBah has sensory issues. She wants to wear nothing but fleece pajamas, and the entire neighborhood knows if her clothing gets wet. Those pictures in my sig of BooBah? They were followed by her stripping *completely*, and throwing a tantrum when we insisted that she wear underpants. It was after that weekend that I formally gave up on getting her to wear other clothing,
that is JUST like elwynn.. so he isnt totally :
post #145 of 168
s Rynna. Sounds like you are working pretty hard these days. Hang in there and remember to get a minute or two to yourself when you need it.

I think I am already having contractions. : I have no idea though. : My uterus is still so small it's hard to tell, but I have intermittent stomach pains and when I feel it with my hand it feels kind of tight. I kind of get this feeling through my whole body when I contract, it's hard to explain. I have an appt on Friday so I'll find out what to do. It definitely happens when I am busy- DUH, life has to go on! I hope it's just my bowels or something. I was hoping this pregnancy would be nice and easy! :

My kids go to bed at 8pm. (Crystal and Kaylee before that.) Rather, *I* retire to my room at 8 and the kids have to either lay down in bed and watch a movie, read, or talk, or DH takes over and they stay up for a little while. It's kind of like the "I'm tired so it's time for YOU to go to bed" thing. They all get up between 6 and 7, sometimes they let me sleep in (8am) when there's no school, which is SO nice. They are finally old enough to play for awhile by themselves until I roll out of bed! I've never been one to sleep late, so I enjoy going to bed kinda early and rising early also.

Z and J have been really good today, thank goodness!!! I came home from hauling the recycling (I know, I know- I'm supposed to be taking it easy, but who else is going to do it???), and they both had babies in strollers, their winter scarves on, and beds made up on the floor in the LR. They were going "to the dance", and the LR was "Spokane".

Zachary saw a kid in the store the other day and he started calling out "Razi! Razi! That's my friend Razi!" It was so darn cute!
post #146 of 168
GA loves to do laundry. we have a front loading washer so she can pretty much do all of the laundry expcet the folding. and actually she does fold the napkins. We love this keep up b/c dh and i both HATE laundry

tomorrow I am off for 4 days for my 40th birthday trip
post #147 of 168
I hate laundry too. : I think I will have the kids fold the diapers when we have to go rhtough that again! (I am already dreading the added load of laundry per day!!!)
post #148 of 168
I love doing laundry. Absolutely love it. There is nothing as fabulous, in my mind, as folding up clean clothing, warm from the dryer. The most disgusting part is loading it, and I'm perfectly content afterwards as long as I get to wash my hands. Fantastic.

Dishes, on the other hand... well, lets just say that despite my deeply held conviction that we should reduce, reuse, and recycle as much as possible, I ate almost exclusively from paper plates while I had my own apartment. I can't stand doing dishes. I do the bare minimum, if I need a cup I will wash a cup but given my druthers I'd never do dishes again. That's one of the reasons that I hate cooking; it invariably involves coming into contact with dirty dishes. Of course, if I cook I'm more than justified in telling Mike to wash the dishes... but it's not good enough. If I won the lottery and it was only a small one, I'd still pay someone to wash my dishes.

Even dishwashers are kind of icky to me. Loading them requires that one pay attention, and occasionally come into contact with more ickiness...
post #149 of 168
Thread Starter 
I don't mind cleaning. Its satisfying once its all sparkly But it NEVER ends! That's the part that bugs me. I have been saying these days, that my dream would be to have a maid and a nanny. I could just do whatever I wanted, and not have to worry about the mess or the kids
post #150 of 168
I'd like to have "chasers" and someone to come into my house for no reason other than to load and unload the dishwasher. Of course, we're talking about my dream-world here, the one in which I have scads of money and we live on a farm in the middle of nowhere...
post #151 of 168
i would just LOVE to have a huge playroom that i didnt have to worry about and maybe a dishwasher




























and a personal massage therapist on call 24 hours a day..and a personal trainer..and maybe an old growth forest of my very own
post #152 of 168
i have a dishwasher, but don't use it.

what i want is pretty simple- SLEEEEEEEP

post #153 of 168
oh, rynna, how are the sick kids doing?
ditto to anyone else who has sick monkeys
post #154 of 168
BooBah's wild and destructive again today, rather than lethargic and slightly purple, so I'd say she's feelign much better even though she's still wheezing. Bella's pretty miserable, BeanBean threw up once yesterday in the morning and that's been the worst of it for him. His energy level hasn't even been affected, he's been the wildest of all of us.

Mike stayed home sick from work today, he's pretty miserable. Around 3 he said, "I should have gone to work, I'd have gotten more rest there." I've only been telling him that for three years...

Leah-- have you been keeping yourself well hydrated, hmmmm?? It's easier to become dehydrated than you might think. Did you know that having perpetually chapped lips can be a sign of chronic dehydration? It's true!
post #155 of 168
oh rynna, i forgot to tell you that amazon has floradix, and its free shipping if you buy more then $25.
post #156 of 168
I'm thinking I should go on strike. I'm obviously a horrible parent, just a waste of time, I don't do enough and I don't care enough to do more, so I should probably stop doing anything. Why am I so worried about it all? It's not as if anything that I do actually makes a difference.

Tonight, while I was giving Bella a neb, BooBah went into the kitchen and dumped a gallon and a half of milk on the floor. I'm sure that some of you can relate when I say that this is the absolute *worst* time she could have chosen to do this; it's the end of the month. We are *completely* out of money. There are no food stamps, no WIC checks, there is absolutely *nothing* until Mike gets paid (and of course this paycheck is almost entirely allocated to paying the rent & phone bill, because if those aren't paid we get evicted and lose phone service, respectively). On Tuesday I used the last of the WIC checks and purchased 3.5 gallons of milk & 30 oz of cereal; tonight there's about a quart of Mike's (skim, not lactose-free) milk left in the fridge. That's it; the cereal was poured all over the living room and kitchen, and the milk... well, it's all gone, sopped up by towels which had finally been washed.

A few months ago I splurged and bought a laundry hamper. It wasn't terribly expensive or special, but it did have three separate spaces, contained by net bags, so that laundry could be put in & separated. The kids destroyed it, Mike threw out the pieces that he could find earlier this week. I tried to organize the family shoes, I bought an over-the-door shoe storage thingy. The kids never put their shoes into it, unless I holler about it. Then they complain and cry and whine when they can't find their shoes and I won't take them anywhere.

I buy food, I put it away in the cabinets; they climb, open things which need to be cooked first, take a bite (or don't) and then pour it all over the place, and I can only count myself lucky if some of it happens to land in the sink or in the trash. BooBah breaks eggs; she just opens containers of eggs in the fridge and carriest them into closets to crack and rub into clean laundry. BeanBean hides peanut butter and jelly in the storage closet. They pour things all over the carpet and then act shocked when I step in it and know it's there, as if the fact that the carpet absorbed it means that it's clean.

And to top it all off, Mike tells me that this is, ultimately, all my fault. If "we" had the kids on a schedule, none of this would have happened, I'm sure. Never mind that BeanBean deliberately jumped on my back when a) he *knew* that I'd been in pain for several weeks and b)I told him to stop because it hurt. Never mind that there is NO PLACE in this house which I can reach but which the kids can't-- anything that I can get to, they can also get to and anything they can't get to, I can't either. Never mind that *I* actually have suggested a schedule many times, and even attempted to implement them, only to be thwarted by Mike's complete and utter lack of cooperation or respect for said schedule.

Tonight I realized something for the first time. I really, truly understood how mothers could walk away from their children and their families, how they could just give up and *leave.* I've never considered this so seriously, it's never occurred to me to entirely give up, but that's where I am right now. I've given up on my sister, I've mostly given up on my mother, and I'm about ready to give up on Mike and the kids. I'm so f***ing tired of finding powdered pudding mix all over the floor, of waking up covered in jelly, of not finding out about spilled milk for weeks, until I smell rotting cheese in a corner, of not being able to walk down the hallway without stepping in something disgusting for more than a few hours, of not being able to walk at all because someone's making my back pain even less bearable than it was before.

I don't think I ask for much. I just want to be able to sleep sometimes on clean sheets, and to have those sheets stay clean for more than one night. I want to be able to walk into a room and not feel like I should turn and walk right back out. To cook a meal and sit at a table and eat it. It's not that much, is it? I'd really like it if my ears weren't always ringing, and if I didn't spend so much energy trying not to feel as angry as I do, trying not to scream. I feel like I walk around holding my breath all the time. It's depressing, it's demoralizing, it makes me hate my life and wish I'd never gone down this path. I just want to scrap this and start all over again.
post #157 of 168
oh goddess, rynna, i'm sorry you are having such a rough time.
jeez, those kids and food!!!! i guess that is why i have actually heard of mom's putting padlocks on fridges?

I wish i could say something that would make it all better, but i think what might help, at least a little is some Rynna time. Maybe getting away for a day and enjoy yourself out in the world as a person, not a mom or wife?
This is probably impossible, but, could you get out for a bit- go hang out at Borders or whatever? (don't have to spend money there. :P We are queens of going to places and not spending money : )
That won't help with your food issue, or money issue, but it might help with the sanity issue, so that you will be in a better place energetically to deal with the food chaos that exists in your house, which of course is another topic.

Anyway, be kind with yourself sweetie.
post #158 of 168
rynna. im nak but i read your post and had to say that ive definately felt like leaving my family and going somewhere quiet and clean and completely alone. being a momma is not easy and anyone who says it is is insane. you are amazing and you have a HUGE amount of responsability and work.. 3 kids under 4.. thats hyge. you ARE doing a great job. you love them and you do everything you can to provide them with love and nutrition and a home ..

on the crazy getting into everything,wrecking everything thing.. i just dont let iy happen. elwynn knows that if he makes a mess he cleans it up.. maybe thats too much for a 3 year old but for my sanity its got to be that way. i guess i run a tight ship (never thought i would) but my mental health is pretty dependant on having a calm, clean home environment. i still usew GD to keep it that way but im not illing to let the kids walk all over me.. can you talk to them about how you feel? that when they do stuff like that it makes you feel like they dont care about their home and that its not okay to trash the place? i know some kids just dont listen or are too young but iys worth putting out there..
post #159 of 168
Rynna, you definitely need a break. I know that's easy for me to say. I have never thought of leaving my kids and never coming back because for me I made a commitment to the state and these kids to provide parenting when their own parents are too stupid to do it. But I often get to a point where I need to live and breathe in a new space for a few days to recharge myself, YK? Even having 2 kids at a time is better for me than having all 4! I am lucky enough to be able to drive down to Mexico and stay for a few days and collect my energy again. We end up letting our families suck us dry of all our energy and when we are "running on fumes", so to speak, it is difficult to function at all- let alone function in a chaotic pig sty, YK? It is only natural that you would have no patience for all that you go through day after day after day. And all your kids (and DP) are sick right now!!! Go easy on yourself! You are a superwoman, but not THE Superwoman. No super powers, just real emotions and feelings. This may sound bizarre, but try to close yourself off from anyone else stealing your personal energy. It's hard to explain. Go into the bathroom and close the door, turn on the water or music to block out the kids' noise, and just spend 5 minutes ALONE every so often so you can get grounded again. If it's possible let the ILs or someone watch the kids while you just go somehwere and sit and stare, or sleep, or clean your house up, or something. If I could afford it I'd buy a gift certificate for a cleaning service in your town. And I'd buy some locks for your cabinets too. Hang in there, Mama. I'm sorry it's been hard for you lately.

And, no, I'm not dehydrated. I drink a gallon a day specifically to keep myself hydratyed to avoid preterm labor. Plus I live in AZ and it's bone dry here!

My pain has been caused by a bladder infection. Different symptoms than my usual UTI's, so that's weird. But a better explaination than PTL.
post #160 of 168
Rynna, big to you! I have had days like that. I have read lots of your posts, and you seem like such a patient, loving mom! Have you thought of putting some childproof locks on some of the cabinets/fridge so your kids can't get into them? I know you have pretty smart kids that could probably figure those out fast, but maybe it would slow them down enough to where you could catch them? I have these locks that open with a magnet on the outside which I keep way up high on the fridge, so my kids can't get to them. I have left one cabinet with no locks on it that they CAN get to with plastic stuff and a few toys. Maybe that would help your sanity?

Now that we are past the potty learning hurdle (finally!), I am starting to look into preschools for DS. I am just looking for something a couple days a week for a few hours, just for him to have some fun, learn how to follow directions from someone other than me, and be around other kids his age. It seems like a lot of the schools around here are crazy expensive...like $45-$80 a week, plus $100+ enrollment fees for just a few hours 2-3 times a week! Anyone else send their almost 4 year old to preschool? What has your experience been?
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