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The September almost-4 tribe!!! - Page 2

post #21 of 168
GA LOVES music! We basically listen to something all of her waking hours. Therefore we have a lot.

Spanish Music (cd from her spanish music class)
Ralph's World
Dane Zanes
The Neilds family cd
They might be giants
Philadelphia chickens

GA starts school next week and I start a new job. Think good thoughts for us as we transition
post #22 of 168
what's your new job amy?
post #23 of 168
it is pretty cool actually. I will be the director of this:


we'll have our own website in the next couple of weeks

OCT/NOV will be rough. I'll be working 50+ hours. SInce GA was 9 months old I have worked about 20 hours a week. I eep telling myself it is only 2 months it will be fine.

post #24 of 168
Good luck with the new job, Amy. I hope Georgia likes going to school!

We went to a concert just last night (The James Gang- my Dad went to school wtih Joe Walsh, who later became an Eagle. AWESOME guitar player!!!). We are taking J and Z to Dave Gilmore (Pink Floyd) in October. I am SO excited! We saw Roger Waters a few years ago, and Aussie Pink Floyd which was awesome, so I am excited to see Dave Gilmore! We missed Lynyrd Skynyrd on Friday night, which was a bummer because I bet they rocked out!!! DH is going to Godsmack for his birthday with his sister. We LOVE concerts and try to go as often as possible. Luckily Phoenix has an insane amount of venues, big or small, and lots of bands stop through here on their tours. (Saw Tim McGraw and Faith Hill last week!)

I hate looking for a new house. I don't really want to move, I just need an extra bedroom and would like a pool and a better school district. But there is a lot I will miss about this house, so I am kind of getting sad about leaving...
post #25 of 168
We listen to:


Some alternative. Some 'new age'. Very little 'rock'. Very little 'pop'.
post #26 of 168
that looks exciting amy.
post #27 of 168
Hey y'all!! Subbing and missing you all. Our computer is giving us trouble *again* so I haven't even been able to read this whole thread til now!

Jaz, I've been meaning to post pictures but the only ones I have are in a bathing suit and really, there is just no way!!! It's kinda a bummer I don't really know any aspiring photographers here and have none so far. The one guy has proven hard to connect w/

Leah, I'm so excited for you and excited to see you soon! Please don't comment on how big I am when I see you. I'm about to take the head off the next person who comments "oh wow, and you still have 6 weeks?" (but ever so slightly : ) I had my midwife appt. yesterday and she is so great. I'm back to feeling good and she helped give some perspective on MIL. I dreamed that I birthed my girl twice last night. The first time, she had black hair and brown eyes and looked asian. Makes me wonder who she was before, yk?

um, i'll write about music later i think.
post #28 of 168
Originally Posted by majazama
PUNK!!!! How are YOU??!!

I missed you

Originally Posted by majazama
whats it like living out of a van with two kids? I'm considering doing it soon myself!
It's an adjustment

It's been pretty challenging at times. Aubrey, having just learned to walk absolutely hates her carseat after about ten to twenty minutes. And Mariah, being an extremely energetic child is not much better Honestly, we kept the driving to no more than six hours a day, stop to get out and run around every 90 mintues or so, and I spent a lot of time crouching between the seats nursing.


the freedom, oh my goodness, is intoxicating. Knowing we could potentially drive anywhere we want is exhilirating. Seeing so much of the country that I've never seen before... There have definetley been perks

The trip out to Virginia was quite an adventure! I wish I had time to go into details right now. We visited a commuity there for about five weeks. It didn't work out, for a variety of reasons, most due to our parenting style and values. Right now we are staying with a friend, in her one bedroom apartment (!) in State College.

I don't know what we are going to do or where we are going to go from here. Which at times is exciting, but lately I'm pretty sick of the limbo.

Hopefully I'll have more time for mdc and I can catch you all up a little more.

I'd love to hear more about what you are considering Jaz, you can PM me if you'd rather not post. Maybe you will inspire me

post #29 of 168
Thread Starter 
carrie~ sounds like it is "business as usual", for the kids, hey? Sasa hates her carseat for extended periods, so I don't think I'll take her on a big trip till next spring or something. I want to go to california. Never been there, and I've been invited to an intentional eco-village/community that is just starting up.:yay:

good to see you're online, and wanted to catch you.
post #30 of 168
Hi y'all, I'm delurking after following this thread for awhile. I was a part of this crowd waaay back, from pregnancy days into infanthood. Then as life changed I chose to simplify and cut out MDC. Well, life keeps a-changing, I keep coming back, and I'm sorely in need of a tribe right now. The ups and downs of a 3yo... would never have expected

Can you give me some tips? What's "normal" for a kid this age? Should they be in preschool or should they still be at home? Taking themselves to the potty alone or no? Going to bed on their own? Maybe I shouldn't be asking these questions as one reason I left this group is because my dd seemed slower than the other babes :

Do 3yos make friends well? Dd seems desperate for friends, but when she's in a group she is quickly disenchanted with the others and gets withdrawn.

We moved twice this year, which meant uprooting dd twice. She changed from an outgoing girl at the playground to a wallflower. We put her in preschool this month, and at first she loved it but now she hates it. I know that if I take her out and keep her home instead, at first she'll love it then she'll hate it. Argh!

Oh, and sadly we don't listen to much music at home. I'm a confirmed failure at multi-tasking, so I can't concentrate with music on. When we do put on something, it's usually Sandra Boynton book and CDs. Dd loves to read, so she likes having a book to go along with the music.

DecemberSun, congrats on the new baby-to-be-born! Do you still have your two foster daughters? And MamaFern, you have a new baby too? Is Casina still around? And SolsticeMama?
post #31 of 168
WARNING: i'm even more out of my mind

i'm still here, i'm just renamed from my real name.
xmas, i'm glad you are here. i've got loud advice for you, just not all this moment. it begins with - enjoy and accept what you can with you are and who your child is! forget about comparing. all that worry it's caused me more grief anger irritation b ad parenting decisions than anything else. your second will help you with balance.....you have a boy or girl now? please don't even think the word failure when you have littles running around we need to find a way for you to affirm yourself. i'm just starting to realize even more lately how much i have sabotaged myself and wasted my time with my doubts. big hugs.

punk i'm so glad you are doing okay. i remember crouching nursing. you are dealing with this change with wonderfulness. fern, are you getting in town more often or have high tech in the woods? leah and sarita what can i say you are freaking pg. it's a distant memory already for me and no matter what practical hardship you are making a whole nother person and i'm always gonna be in awe of that. leah, can you get an equity loan and add on?

amy, you got yourself a freaking kickass title. blessings to you three in this time of change.
(i had a tantrum last week on dh abt titles)

LOVE YOU ALL yesyes you too rynna jaza lisa who else did i forget? so glad you are hear and here and i'm enjoying the music conversation so far i'm closest to fern spectrum. i have been hazylurky. i'm a bit out of my mind and already insulted the doctor today by accident with my big mouth. can i get paid to blurt out inappropriate things? i seem to have a definite talent. or now i just notice my big mistakes and care too much-what good is that? the walk in clinic i end up at once a year is run by two very nice men who see me at my very worst. i will now blame all my life mistakes on lack of oxygen, LOL. so a day's dose of generic biaxin costs 10 and feels like drinking bleach and i am thankful. i got a steroid shot and they put me on an albuterol nebulizer breathing machine. never done that before i'm still freaked cos to me albuterol is like demerol - powerful drugs - makes you breathe, makes pain go away, and they fed me a little liquid well of it when i've had one inhaler sparingly for ten years. and i suppose that's why i'm still awake. my kids have had to just cope these days, and i'm just grateful for now.
post #32 of 168
Wow, Casina, sounds chaotic in your neck of the woods. I hope you get well soon. I happen to enjoy hearing you blurt out inappropriate things. I need you to ground me and give me persepctive and tell me to grow up and deal with it. We are actually thinking about all the possibilities with the house situation- the pros and cons of staying/leaving. We may add on a bedroom and/or family room, but we are still faced with the horrible school district, no pool, far from town, etc... Plus DH is incredibly lazy and I can't get him to help me clean up the property, and seeing as I'm pregnant I don't want to overdo it. It will probably be another year before we decide.

XmasEve- welcome back. We actually have three foster DDs now- Julianna, Crystal, and Kaylee- with one baby on the way (probably another girl!) Your DD sounds "normal" to me. Half the time I still can't understand Julianna's speech, while Zachary can carry on a conversation with strangers and they understand every word. They both go to the bathroom by themselves, but that's only because I simply can not be everywhere at once, and they learned to help themselves or wait for me to be available. It doesn't mean they like it, but they deal with it. Julianna has to be reminded lately to wipe after peeing because she's getting red and irritated. : She sees peeing as an inconvenience, an interruption of her playing time, so she tries to make the trip as quick as possible. They both go to bed on their own now, but they share a room so they have each other to talk to. One or both of them usually end up in our room every few nights or so. They are still not in preschool. We do workbooks and stuff at home and they LOVE it. They constantly ask to "play school" when they see that I have a free moment. They do ask to go to school but I tell them they are still too little. In a way I would enjoy some "time off" during the day, but right now I'm not ready to let them go yet, so here we are...

Sarita- I can't imagine you with a big belly. You're so tiny! I'm probably as big as you are and I'm only 14 weeks! I will pm you my phone numbers so you can give me a call. My mom and I will be busy cleaning the stupid house Friday and Saturday, but you can come over Saturday evening for the reception, and/or we can do the fair on Sunday or Monday, or lunch on Tuesday before we leave, or whatever else comes along.

Are your kids experts at making messes? Mine are. I mean, they completely destroy a room. It's insane. I know I keep saying I just need to get rid of the toys and that would solve the problem. If we move I will only take, like, two toys per kid and sell everything else at a garage sale!!!

post #33 of 168
Thread Starter 
casina~ what's going on!? write in the yahoo group, if you don't want the whole world to know.

XmasEve~ good to see you back, it's always nice to have more peeps around in the tribe. Casina's advice is what I would have said...
post #34 of 168
isn't that funny i didn't mention it out of my mind and still? i have sinusitis and bronchitis bordering on pneumonia and i guess it was a major asthma attack. this is the 3rd or 4th time i have had pneumonia in three years.
so i have to face that i've been harming myself and be annoyingly mature and ridiculously responsible. i am suddenly quit smoking. that's the first time i've mentioned this to the board - in fact it has been "hidden" from my boys and most of family and casual friends. dh started it cos he has always preferred to pretend with his family - it is the first and only big lie i have ever lived with and i'll be glad to be rid of it. i guess it is the last vestige and rebelliousness and bad habit all around of my old identity. jeez, i guess i really have to be totally wholesome in the end. i promise to you i never smoked knowing i was pregnant all times (my one verbal prenuptial agreement and yes i needed that reinforcement it is so addictive i can't explain if you never have) and there was few year spell smokefree after i had reed but it came back after dh was bedridden for a year after things got freaky.

anyway, i was literally passed out for two days expelling green goo from my head and lungs peeing on a pad everytime i cough, not being able to breathe i thought i was going to die and reflected on how i felt about it. it is commented i hardly sit down by by irl friends and my sleeping is weird, so for me to not be able to get up for days is pretty serious and it has never been for so long or pronounced before. so for awhile (half a day?) i was okay with dying cos there is just too much to do and my kids would be okay, i've done a pretty okay job (unfortunately the albuterol makes me heart race and wake a bit but i couldn't get up at all it was almost 24 hours that i got up and took advil and then sweated for awhile while i pondered the miraculousness and power of ibuprofen and mortality)

then i decided not to die i have worked this hard i might as well see it farther and see my kids grow up although i had already imagined them grown up and relatively fine without me. at one point i also got irritated and mean for a moment (cos ruby was needling me and i pushed her) after all my current work on my temper and just felt horrible once again knowing i would not feel good about dying being mean mom and decided i am able to be better than that, i have to be (imagining all the movies with sick moms acting badly which is so close to the mark no matter how ashamed i feel) so i have for the most part been very sweet and gracious these past few days. helps so much when you can barely breathe or talk and walk around and think. unfortunately with my big swings in mood and attitude i think it deceived my dh that i was feeling better than i looked. anyway now i'm already thinking being invalid has quite a few good points cos the biaxin has kicked in massively in the past day. my kids coped extremely well in my incapacity and basically no supervision though i noticed and worried about ruby alone on the front porch (why can i hear everything from the bedroom?) and i fretted i had no one to call or trust or that i lacked the ability to complete the thought to ask my dh to call anyone, and he didn't, there is never anyone to really call, my mom is out of bounds and mil and anyway most people are too afraid of getting sick. it is just so wrong wrong this mentality. note to myself go get people's kids if i hear a whisper mamma is sick.

so things are weird. it has been a most introspective year.

leah, i'm very glad to hear you like to hear my big fat mouth cos it will take time for me to focus it more beneficially. i can't get rid of it and don't want to, but it is sometimes hard to live with.

so now i'm better and feeling insane the brain is back with the little thoughts have ai already said that? i know that is normal but whatever yuck i am back to the slavery that i chose and in my delirium decided was a good thing. so i'm going to take a deeper breath and just take it easy, as much as my personality permits. i want to be a softer person things in the family are easier for me when i am weaker and stressed and fighting for the important things and too dumb or ill to deal with all the details. tonight i wondered that i have become this strong person due to hardship and stress and lurking ill health. i have always considered myself weak until recently i still feel i defer to dh and other authority i was very agreeable and passive growing up. oh, i see, passive agressive i guess. i'm realizing i even got up from my passed out state to write the mortgage bill when i took the advil cos we are trying to refinance with this company and we have never been late and i went ahead and had an appraiser come by tuesday and because of it i spent five hours in the middle of the night cleaning what would take normally twenty minutes and struggled to cleaned myself up. sigh. maybe it saved my life that i had to. maybe not. mayve i am just a stubborn person not naturally free happy go lucky. it was probably just suppressed before and now with the kids i have to be strong for them i face again and again who i am and who i want to be incorporating the original imprint so that my own intense kids can learn to be this relaxed happy person that is equipped with few lifelong habits. my faults will become my strengths! arrgh. my own stinking advice is just plain hard and i'm not able to avoid it. so i will muddle along at least i can breathe enough to laugh a little.

earlier i found a bandaid ruby put on my hip on a bug bite under my underwear. it made me bubble up with laughter cos i happenned to feel resentful in that moment that i possibly could have died and the males would not have noticed in time, even tho she was by far who needed me most and the least sick hopefully cos she already coughed for months this spring and hence her permanent (i so wish and hope and strive for semipermanent) whining. i went to the doctor yesterday cos i was feeling better and dh was home for a spell but i knew i needed help cos the first time i had walking pneumonia and i think i felt bad for more than two months. it is hard to go to the doctor even when needed cos none of us have insurance beside dh. i say i don't believe in paying for fear on a good day but it still sucks it would be nice to get things checked without repressing and reasoning through a panic attack about money and i have worked so hard to feel rich and express it in belief of gaining more due to attitude but it takes so much energy out of me and my kids teeth are rotten. so meanwhile yes, my whole family is sick too except reed cos he must have had every cold possible for a year and half when he quit nursing at two but he has a bad swimmer's ear. and there is a local pertussis epidemic we call it the katrina cough so i've been wary. i mean frightened. anyway my house my bed is full of fleas despite no pets inside for years they are in my yard everything and i probably triggered the asthma by finally using some aerosols on myself and house this past week and the neighbor lent me the propane fogger to do the yard mosquitoes last week. i had figured the bites are so debilitating for me and ruby - we just cry and scratch all week these welts so i went ahead and desperately barreled through the chemicals. i hate being worried about it all. can i lose some iq please? again, i'm a bit wired, this is the albuterol speaking.

so i'm back to the grittiness and richness of life. yikes, this is the first time i have felt i chose to be alive. so maybe i wasn't going to die, but it was close enough to think about deliriously for the past few days. this has been the year of realizing and facing fear for me. and going on. sigh.

thanks for the spill. love you all.
post #35 of 168
wow casina. i'm glad you have chosen to live. i've been there, many times.
try to take care of yourself as you recover.

our household is sick too, with me also being the sickest. I too have been coughing/blowing green stuff for about 5 days or so and i'm really getting tired of it. its made me realize how spent my system is, and yet i'm not sure how to remedy it. and yeah, no health insurance here too. makes life interesting sometimes, altough mostly i don't care bc i'm not into western medicene.

i hope good health retuns to us soon.
post #36 of 168
:casina.. please take care of yourself! we love you! you are so full of wisdome and insight and beauty. the world needs people like you!!

maybe you should see a chinese dr. or something.. lung stuff is really about grief and saddness.. you gotta get it worked out!!
post #37 of 168
Tea Olive- Your sadness and exhaustion really show in your post. I feel for you. Wishing you some wonderful moments that lift you out of the abyss.

Many Blessings,
post #38 of 168
Thread Starter 
fenugreek, its a herb that helps to clear mucus. please try herbs for the sickness, it's basically free, and is healthy to use. Drink lots of herbal teas too. I'm sending you love and healing energy, c!
post #39 of 168
all right ladies, i am not going to be queen thread killer here.

i am okay, my sense of humor about having to be queen mamma is coming back. you put that very clear fern i had not thought about it that way - grief and sadness have been prevalent but it had not surfaced like this until now. i wish i could feel good about a chinese doctor but being almost chinese makes it weird for me.

i promise y'all i am having my herbs and teas. and all my complaining has helped - i have rallied quite a bit of warmth online and irl and i really thank you ladies for listening and being here. now it's time for me to settle down and watch a movie alone as a treat.
post #40 of 168
you put that very clear fern i had not thought about it that way - grief and sadness have been prevalent but it had not surfaced like this until now. i wish i could feel good about a chinese doctor but being almost chinese makes it weird for me.
just curious why?? what about someone who does accupressure or acupuncture but isnt a chinese doctor..? i wish i lived closer.. id work on you (i do jin shin do acupressure) you could even do it on yourself or get a friend or dp to do it.acupressure that is. its very powerful..ive never been to a chinese chinese dr.. but acupressure/acupuncture practitioners.. i need to do it more often. my training is in body mind acupressure and it really helps people deal with the physical ailments CAUSED by emotional blocks.. stuck chi is very harmful..especially lung /kidney/liver ect.. lungs mainly becase they are sooo important for life.. like you have experienced.. if you cant breathe.. you cant live.. at least not for long.

these days have been kind of hellish with elwynn.. im not sure if he is going through a phase or a midlife crisis or what (sometimes i call it his mid day crisis)

he is so friggin GRUMPY! he gets mad about everything.. whines when i dress him...feed him....look at him...anything..im hoping it doesnt last too long because i feel like hucking him out the window or making him live in the play house in the backyard. i know im grumpy sometimes and it rubs off but ive been trying to be more positive and playful and its not working. im at a loss.. he used to be such a sweet boy and i feel like hes a totally different person these days i feel like its my fault or ngaio or something in our lives thats not noursihing him.. but i dont know what else i can do.. im so worn out. i just want to have one peaceful carefree day.
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