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The September almost-4 tribe!!! - Page 3

post #41 of 168
MamaFern,
I mostly lurk here because my dd is the same age. (Until recently, I've mostly just lurked everywhere on MDC. )
You just sound so sad! Didn't you just start watching another baby? Maybe your little guy is responding to the change? Sometimes my dd has a few rough days and when I'm in the middle of it, it feels like, well, this is it. This is her new personality. Where is MY dd? But then she'll snap out of it and adjust to whatever change has happened. Or sometimes there won't have been a change and she'll just snap out of it.
Hang in there!
post #42 of 168
yeah.. ive recently started doing in home daycare for a 61/2 month old 3 mornings a week (and a 12 hour day a week which we havnt done yet) and soon we will be watching a 10 month old and her 5 year old sister on monday afternoons.. i guess that is a transition.. i just dont know how im going to deal with it all and him being so unhappy..especially because my dp is leaving for at least 2 weeks in a few days.

BUT im not really sad.. just tired and worried for him. when he acts like this i have a hard time being loving to him and i know what he really needs when he is feeling so unhappy is more loving.. so its a tricky situation.
post #43 of 168
Hey, you're still up, too! It's so hard to go to bed when my dd is finally asleep and I can be online for awhile.
When dd was one, I took care of a six month old and a two year old. It was so much work.
And I feel the same way--somedays it's really hard to be loving when my dd is screaming at me.
I hope your little guy feels happier soon.
post #44 of 168
Thread Starter 
Sounds like elwynn needs his auntie jaz!:and cousins too! .... We'll be coming soon, maybe wednesday night or thursday.
post #45 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by MamaFern
he is so friggin GRUMPY! he gets mad about everything.. whines when i dress him...feed him....look at him...anything..im hoping it doesnt last too long because i feel like hucking him out the window or making him live in the play house in the backyard. i know im grumpy sometimes and it rubs off but ive been trying to be more positive and playful and its not working. im at a loss.. he used to be such a sweet boy and i feel like hes a totally different person these days i feel like its my fault or ngaio or something in our lives thats not noursihing him.. but i dont know what else i can do.. im so worn out. i just want to have one peaceful carefree day.
I know I harp on about this a lot, but this is *exactly* what BeanBean went through before I started giving him some Floravital every day. This isn't to say that I think Elwynn is anemic (though of course it's possible) but that it could potentially be related to something as simple as lacking enough of a vitamin or mineral which could be easily added to his diet. Maybe his blood sugar is getting low and making him miserable, maybe it is anemia (which has been documented to cause exactly the sort of behavior that you're describing), but I'd go with my gut on this one: You feel as though "something in our lives [is] not nourishing him," and that could be exactly what's happening. If that's the case, it could be an easy fix.
post #46 of 168
rynna- you are so lucky that beanbean will take "meds" easily. i can get k to consume homeopathics, but omg it is such a strugle w/ anything else.
we do eat smoothies every day so maybe i can add some floravital in it. how much do you give him?

kathrynn has been very clingy lately, esp at night. omg, she is waking easier since she is still a bit sick, and the second she senses that i am not there (while being asleep) she starts to moan and cry out in her sleep. last night, i had to go in her room every 10-20 minutes for about an hour, then i gave her some homeopathics and she slept soundly for awhile. but if i want to sleep at all, i have to sleep in her bed, otherwise i am up and out of my bed all night long. i'm really hoping she moves through this. its like she just moved the family bed (ie, the mama and kathrynn bed) to her twin bed and out of our queen. :/
she was doing pretty good - waking 1-2x a night- before she got sick. even then when she starts to wake she needs me to be there as she wakes up, which i am fine w/ if its not 15x a night. lol.
also, she seems to be having some bad dreams, leaving her really anxious. this makes me sad.


but its hard for me to tell what is sickness and what is insecurity. i think somehwere in the back of her mind she thinks that i will disappear like some of the things from her "old" life.
she is like me- processes things slowly, and after the fact. so i think maybe now the move is starting to catch up with her internally.


the other wierd thing that is going on with her that i wanted to ask about is this really sensitive emotional state she seems to have- saying good bye, saying i love you- these things seem to be so hard for her. she says them to her stuffed animals or inate objects, but the emotionality connected to them otherwise makes the situation difficult for her. on the "i love you" thing- she has said back to me and wes- "i don't love you" when we tell her we love her, whcth is a bit. hehe
i don't think much of it, bc i know she does love us, but it makes me curious what that is all about. being a capricorn myself, as she is, i know we can cut ourselves off emotionally, and i'd like to somehow help her work through this pattern, not just chalk it off as a personality trait.

hrm, the wheels seem to be turning this morning.


lisa
post #47 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mona
rynna- you are so lucky that beanbean will take "meds" easily. i can get k to consume homeopathics, but omg it is such a strugle w/ anything else.
Yeah, my kids are weird that way. I actually started giving them vitamins because BeanBean will pretend he's sick and ask for Motrin every day! Mike says it's because kids' medicine is generally sweet, and ours don't get a lot of candy or juice. He's sure right about the children's Motrin-- that stuff is *delicious*.

Quote:
we do eat smoothies every day so maybe i can add some floravital in it. how much do you give him?
Floravital tastes like slightly metallic fruit juice; for a "special treat," we let the kids mix it with some Green Goodness, which they *love*. Each child gets 5 mL a day, and that's sufficient for them unless BeanBean is sick/getting sick, in which case I usually give him 10 mL because of that whole vicious cycle thing he's got going on with his anemia. I only give it to them once a day, because I'm trying to maintain adequate levels rather than increase acutely poor ones most of the time. I visited their website and they said that if you're not anemic, you shouldn't be taking an iron supplement at all but my kids seem to be constantly anemic without it (as I am). We've got some very strange anemia issues going on, though, in my extended family as well (one of my nieces has Thalassemia minor, for example).

Quote:
the other wierd thing that is going on with her that i wanted to ask about is this really sensitive emotional state she seems to have- saying good bye, saying i love you- these things seem to be so hard for her. she says them to her stuffed animals or inate objects, but the emotionality connected to them otherwise makes the situation difficult for her. on the "i love you" thing- she has said back to me and wes- "i don't love you" when we tell her we love her, whcth is a bit. hehe
i don't think much of it, bc i know she does love us, but it makes me curious what that is all about.
It could be any number of things. Perhaps she has realized that the words "I love you" have deeper meaning than the rote "I love you/I love you too" exchange originally implies, and she wants to work out that deeper meaning before she commits herself by saying "I love you too." She could be experimenting with language and conversation, trying to illicit a response from you and Wes. Perhaps she's asking on some level for more evidence that you love her; like, if you say, "This painting is beautiful!" and she says, "No, it's not," maybe she's really asking for more specific feedback, i.e. "Wow, you used a lot of blue and green in this painting! I think those colors look beautiful together." (Does that make any sense? I heard the TV come on downstairs, and I'm listening for howls of rage... )
post #48 of 168
Lisa, thank you so much for your PM I haven't had much mdc time lately, sorry I hadn't responded sooner.

Hugs to all the mamas that need them

We are still in PA, hoping to be able to hit the road again in a week or so. We've requested visits at three different communities, we are really excited about one in New Hampshire. I imagine we don't know what we are getting ourselves into with that one, being from South Texas and all

Jaz, which community are you going to be visiting in CA, I'm so curious. You can PM me if you'd rather.

All I can say at this point is wow, what an adventure :
post #49 of 168
thanks for all of the support

maybe he is anemic.. we do have floravit but i space out on it and only give it to him once in a while..

his appetite is almost nothing right now and ive read that anemia can cause appetite loss..so maybe ill try that. he loves juice and one of the things i can get him to take usually is his iron.. he used to love multi vitamins. now he hates them.. maybe we can try another kind. and i agree with the low blood sugar thing but like i said hes hardly eating at all..so im sure its a BIG reason why hes so crabby these daysits getting to the point that im getting worried.. i tried to make a dr's appt. but there are no dr's anywhere around where we live taking patients. its so stupid. our healthcare system is going down the drain

thanks again.. getting ready for baby isabel...
post #50 of 168
Hiya! just thinking about all i've read! hugs fern!

Our exciting news for now is that razi finally got into the school that I've been on the wait for since March! Yay! His first day is tomarrow. He will only go 3 days. it's such a totally different scenario from the montessori school. He is very excited to go and so I've got my fingers crossed that this works out.

okay, i need a nap,
post #51 of 168
Rynna,
I have a question about the Floravital. How is it on everyone's stomach? I ask because I hemmorraged at home--long unpleasant story with an eventual happy ending--with dd's birth and I lost a lot of blood so the doctor gave me these uber iron tablets. They really hurt my stomach. Think Floravital would be better?
post #52 of 168
I've personally never used an iron supplement that was as gentle or as effective as Floravital. It also doesn't cause us any constipation (huge bonus!). I'm absolutely in love with the stuff. In fact, as Mike gets a paycheck this week I may ask him to order our next 2-month supply on Friday; Vitacost has flat shipping, no matter how many you order, so that makes it far less expensive for us than visiting health food stores. But then, we have three people taking it *every day*; I take 10mL and each of the kids takes 5mL. We go through one of the big bottles in almost exactly four weeks (doses occasionally vary), so it's very cost effective for us to get two at a time.

If you're dealing with anemia due to blood loss, though, you really need to be taking more than just iron-- you'll need to make sure that you're getting adequate amino acids & fatty acids for manufacturing new cells.
post #53 of 168
Thanks! My dd is almost four, not a new little one! I did not have adequate care for the blood loss, though.
With the iron though, it KILLED my stomach and I had terrible constipation.
I'm going to give floravita a chance though for both me and my dd.
Thanks again!
post #54 of 168
Yikes, I'd forgotten how chatty you guys are!

Thanks for all your reassurances. I'm not worried about my dc's development per se, just that I'm not giving them all they need to reach their best, yk? With my 1st not talking til late, I was fine to give her some space, we're all individuals. But now my 2nd isn't using words either and I'm facing worries that maybe I'm not a verbal enough role model. I sure can't keep up with you guys!

Casina, I had a raging sinus infection this summer when I was doing too much. I spent a day lying on the couch thinking how it would be okay to die, I've given my kids a good start and I'm not much cut out to be a soccor mom anyway. Sometimes being a mom is just TOO HARD. Also, congrats on giving up smoking and good luck. I lived a "chemical" life years before my kids, and there are still some moments when I feel like, thank *** I don't know a dealer anymore or I'd be on their doorstep.

Interesting conundrum, not wanting to go to an OMD because of your closely linked ethnicity... I had never looked at it that way. I used to have an Anglo OMD who just about deified Asian OMDs... I always thought that was funny. I don't think of OMD (even though I call it Oriental) as being limited to one group. Just a respectful nod to the land where it sprang to consciousness. Maybe I would feel different if I decided to take Irish dancing lessons (my ethnicity) from an Indian/Russian/African?

mamafern, sorry about your ds's funk. With dd I always need to hit rock bottom before coming up for air. As in, reaching the point of whining and grumping right back at her before I snap to- whoa, not cool. Then I just hole up for a day of cuddling and routine breaking. A cycle I'm trying to break. I'm getting better at snapping inside instead of at her.

Mona, sorry about the sleep issues! I can't imagine being up that much with my 3yo, I would be the walking dead trying to get her back to sleep. With my 1yo I can swing it, but with her I just put a boob in her mouth. When I was a child I went through a phase with my folks of not wanting to say I love you. They pushed it and it got worse and I think it was years before I said it to them again. As such I'm very sensitive to it with my kids. I just don't say it much in general, because the overuse of it makes me uncomfortable. I say it when I'm feeling it, whether the timing is appropriate or not-- it can have a funny impact

saritasmile, what school is this? How did Montessori not work out? dd is in Montessori and I am quickly learning that "Montessori" can mean several different things... she and I are on opposite pendulum swings about it

It would be so nice if dd would put herself to bed. I'm just not good at bedtime, never have been, because it's my worst time of day when I want to be selfish and pull inward to reserve my strength. And now that she's in school and needs a routine bedtime/ wake up, oy! I've had such laziness about pushing her out of the baby mold. She only goes to the bathroom by herself now because we told her she couldn't go to school until she learned to go by herself. It was very weird for her. She knew how to go by herself, but having been ec'd since birth I had always gone with her, and likewise she had always gone with me (I'm sure you know how that is ), so it was just a shift for her. A good shift, a bad shift? I have to stop torturing myself about it, drag my butt away from this computer and put her to bed!
post #55 of 168
Edited. (pay no attention to this post. LOL)
post #56 of 168
Thread Starter 
oh, that was you?

I'll PM you.
post #57 of 168
ok so kathrynn is back to day nursing. :
i caved when she was sick, but of course that started the whole thing back.

oh goddess, i'm back after another 10 min hiatus of me running around the house refusing her munyas again.
with every scratch, disappointment, ect, she wants to have munyas.
obviously she is in need of some consolement or something on that level, and i don't think it would be helpful or healthy to refuse that to her when she is in need.
but, my god, this child is nearing 4 and the societal norms are wearing at me. i hate to admit that, bc i have not really been one to give a fuck. but, yeah, four- it just seems she should be over it by now. :/

and one day, i'd like to not have to nurse her to sleep, when she wakes up during the night, and when she wakes up in the morning.
but with day nursing going on, it seems like the goal of night weaning her is farther away.

has anyone done night weaning but not day weaning?

i'm boggled with this child at the moment, can you tell? :
post #58 of 168
BeanBean doesn't seem to know that he's finished nursing. He hasn't nursed at night since he was 14 or 15 months old, but he's day nursing 2-6 times a month right now. I love him, and I love nursing him, but I really wonder sometimes why he's doing it. He's always very enthusiastic about nursing before, during and after, very appreciative and considerate, but it just seems odd sometimes. I don't really know what to make of it at all, but I'm okay with it I guess. Of course, part of me just loves flaunting societal norms, and it's nice to have a chance to really do that with BeanBean (since BooBah self-weaned at 15 months).
post #59 of 168
Quote:
Originally Posted by eilonwy
BeanBean doesn't seem to know that he's finished nursing. He hasn't nursed at night since he was 14 or 15 months old, but he's day nursing 2-6 times a month right now. I love him, and I love nursing him, but I really wonder sometimes why he's doing it. He's always very enthusiastic about nursing before, during and after, very appreciative and considerate, but it just seems odd sometimes. I don't really know what to make of it at all, but I'm okay with it I guess. Of course, part of me just loves flaunting societal norms, and it's nice to have a chance to really do that with BeanBean (since BooBah self-weaned at 15 months).
im jealous!! i soo wish elwynn was still nursing. i really miss that and i really think that it would help him feel less displaced..whatwith all of the big changes going on. i feel we need to develop something else.. thats special for just us. and stick with it. any suggestions?
post #60 of 168
yeah, you know, all in all, i'm almost happy sometimes that she is nursing. i mean, i love it. there is nothing else like it. but....... sigh, i dunno. i wish i could just let go and be a true CLW'er, bc i think that would mostly benefit kathrynn. but what about me??? !!!!!! heheh

fern- how about some kind of morning, mid day, and / or evening ceremony that involves lighting a candle and / or incence, and then something that the two of you share for a few minutes- whether it be giggles, breathing, stories or just being still?
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