Ok, I'm lmao over here....it's kind of sad too.

[Shaunam]

So I'm bored and lurking on a mainstream board I used to post on and I saw these two things in ONE post. "I think ff is just as good" and then "I know that breast is best". She said she never considered ff'ing because she and her brothers were ff'd and perfectly healthy and the only way she'd consider bf'ing is if her child was unhealthy or born early because she knows breast is best. :

WTH?

So which is it? Either you know breast is best or you don't.

Does anybody else notice that people have this attitude? Even magazine articles say this crap. They'll go on and on about the benefits of bf'ing, but then they'll say, "but don't beat yourself up if you choose not to or can't because formula is just as good."

Why is it that people cannot just ACCEPT IT instead of lying to themselves?

[aanule]

oh man... i just got into this on another board... i was comparing the social impact of smoking durring pregnancy becoming taboo and that if society treated formula feeding the same way, more would attepmt and more would succeed and there would be a larger base of support for the next gen... it came out wrong the first time though (as it often does for me) and i had to rephrase, so im hoping they get the msg this time and dont jump on me!

[frontierpsych]

I always just kind of shake my head. Not at the people necessarily, but at the fact that we are taught bot that "breast is best" and "formula is just as good" and these two contradicting elements are accepted by the same people. "Breast is best" is based on undeniable scientific evidence, yet "formula feeding is just as good" is out there simply to ease the guilt. It's like saying "salad is best, but doritos and a multivitamin is just as good." :

[ParisApril]

I sometimes hang out on a mainstream board and whenever a mother is talking about weaning her dc because of an issue it is usually one that goes away like biting, or nursing a lot bc of teething etc. If someone dares to tell the poster that the problem is temporary 20 people jump down their throat for trying to "pressure" the person to continue. It is crazy. I don't go there much.

[MelanieMC]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

I always just kind of shake my head. Not at the people necessarily, but at the fact that we are taught bot that "breast is best" and "formula is just as good" and these two contradicting elements are accepted by the same people. "Breast is best" is based on undeniable scientific evidence, yet "formula feeding is just as good" is out there simply to ease the guilt. It's like saying "salad is best, but doritos and a multivitamin is just as good." :

:

[ladybugchild77]

sigh: ...

[siobhang]

it is called cogantive dissonance. it is how some folks will believe that hitting their child teaches their child to not hit.

Frankly, we all do it - most of our decisions do not stem from intellectual or reasoned approaches, but rather from emotions. My dh likes to say how 99% of humans make a decision first and then justify it after the fact.

In addition, breast is best plays into the "breastfeeding is a bonus" approach, where breastfeeding isn't seen as default or necessary, just an added bonus some women get to give their kids.

Personally, I think in these cases, it is best to NOT attack women for their decisions (since their reasons are probably created after the fact) but rather focus on how these women are being LIED to - by formula manufacturers, by doctors, OBs, etc.

It is tricky, because if we bash formula, there will be negative responses. But I do think letting women know the facts about formula feeding increases risks of x, y, and z (and not about how bf reduces risks) might make some women wake up to the fact that formula is NOT normal.

Tricky one, though, and easy to get dismissed as a lactivist loon.

Siobhan

[siobhang]

It would be very hard for me to resist asking for clarification on the phrase "just as good".

I mean, sure ff kids survive infancy and childhood and are able to reproduce as adults (a classic definition of a "good enough" evolutionary strategy). This is why ffing is viable at all.

[blsilva]

THere is a woman in my playgroup that has this attitude. She has 4 kids, claims to have tried to nurse the first 2, but it didn't work out, and decided that ff was "just as good" anyway, so she does that now. Of course, her 2 oldest have asthma so bad they're in the hospital a several times a year w/ attacks, but I'm trying really hard not to "harass" her. Someone else in the group already did that, and it resulted in a HUGE fight, the group almost breaking up, and bfing discussion pretty much being off limits now. :

[frontierpsych]

ooh, that's another one that bothers me "My kids are perfectly healthy" when they're NOT! Their asthma could be directly related to being ff, but don't you DARE insinuate it, or you're just being judgemental. :

[blsilva]

Exactly! How do you convince someone who was formula-fed, and who has formula-fed all 4 of her kids, that breast is better? You can't say, "well, yk, if you had bfed, you wouldn't have to take her to the hospital every week during allergy season..." Someone else in the group already tried, and therefore the blowout. Some ideas are just too entrenched in some people. And they comfort themselves with all those articles that claim that it's ok if you choose not to bf- no harm done. Any mention of the benefits of bfing, even for my own kids, seems to get a reaction as if I had said "breast feed or else!" :