UPDATE! I quit my job!! (Originally: Have I made the worst decision of my life?) - Page 2

[daekini]

I hope once school starts for you that things will be easier, sometimes getting into the swing of things helps.

I had to take a kid to the office today and I didn't get home til after 10 pm because of a game. My 3yo DD fell asleep on the couch waiting for me. Poor baby

[daekini]

I know - let's all just quit! :

[Leatherette]

Hey, how did you know I was thinking about doing just that today?:

I found out that I will be reassigned to another school at some point in the near future, because they need a full-time teacher in my spot instead of me (half-time, but have been working almost full time ). So I have to deal with all of the beginning of the year crises, then I am booted to another new situation.

On the upside, I got to meet one of my kids today, and he was so sweet and we had a great rapport. Too bad he won't be mine for long.......but being with the kids is what I am there for, so that felt good.

L.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by me&amp

I always said that teaching is the hardest thing to do next to parenting. Good luck with your decision this year - it's not an easy one, for sure.

Teaching is HARDER than parenting. You actually love your own kids.

[A&A]

Originally Posted by daekini

I know - let's all just quit! :

DON'T THINK it hasn't crossed my mind. A million times.

[Maggie05]

I have been a high school English teacher for 16 years. It does get better after you establish a reputation for yourself. Do not "give it back to them". React calmly and consistently with firm discipline. Grade Everything you assign so that they realize pretty quickly they will fail if the don't fall in line.

I have a series of events that occur when students act out. First a phone call to the parents. Then the student is pulled from class and must sit with my supervisor. Then school assigned detentions. While this is going on I keep detailed records of behavior (EXACTLY what was said: I asked John to take out his notebook. He replied, "Fuck you.") These are written up in a factual unemotional way, and sent to the student's guidance councelor, special ed case manager, supervisor, and school Vice principal who then sends it to the parent. I basically continually (but unemotionally) aggrevate the kid until they stop. I follow this procedure one kid at a time until the class is tamed.

Oh, and stop coaching after you finish this season.

It takes an enormous amount of time and energy, and I wish you luck.

On a different note, I wish all those people who think teachers have it so easy because they get out at three and have summers off would read this thread.

[daekini]

I'm quitting!

I don't have a contract. I've decided that I'll give them my notice in November and tell them I'll stay till Xmas break. UNLESS I just can't live through this anymore! It'll be tough because dh is student teaching and doesn't have an income. Family is supportive, thank goodness. I'd leave now except that I really worry about my students. I've gotten attached to some of them.

If they ever get around to giving me a contract, I'm going to go ahead and tell them that I don't intend to stay past Xmas, and deal with the consequences. I just don't think I can sign it in good conscience.

We have evaluations coming up, and I feel guilty having them go through all that (and also having to go to all that effort myself) only to quit. I wanted to tell them that I was quitting before evaluations, but dh thinks they'd make my life even worse if they knew I was bailing on them. What do you guys think??? Tell them now and risk being let go right away or being treated like sh*t till Xmas, or wait til the 1st of November???

I worry about whether they'll find a good biology teacher for my students.


Editing to add: I just realized it's been exactly 2 weeks since my 1st post. Amazing how things have come to this point in such a short time... At this point it's mainly because my own 2 kids are suffering as a result of my absence:
*dd (3) sleeps with me but won't let dh near her in the bed and if he tries to cover her, she screams "NO! Mommy cover me up! No Daddy!!!"
*dd is having a hard time when the family is together, she hardly sees us together and it's like she gets overloaded (she's a high-intensity kid anyway)
*dd can't let me out of her sight when I'm home and she falls asleep on the couch waiting for me at night
*ds (1) has a bruise on his eye right now from falling at daycare
*ds isn't able to nap at daycare and is exhausted all the time
*ds is getting "unattached" from me - I don't think it would have happened had I not gone to work... he's more attached to dh now and won't cosleep with me

*and the worst... ds started walking and I didn't realize it for 2 days!

I can't keep doing this to my babies - I could go on but it would just be to justify my decision. They look awful and I don't think they feel well.. they're always sick... Is that normal for kids in daycare full time? I just don't think we're ready for this... And I know I'm not meant to be a high school teacher - I admire those of you who stick with it and feel it's your calling, I honestly don't know how you do it!!!!

[Threefold]

I would tell them now, chances are very very slim that they will fire you on the spot, b/c they will need somone else in that class first, and that someone else probably will not be easy to find. Tell them something has come up in your family and you find that you will need to resign at X-mas break.

[rliszkowski]

I just read all the posts...I honestly think you are making the right decision. It is too much, too soon. This doesn't mean you can never teach, this is just not the right situation or time for you. Your school sounds terrible which is not uncommon, but there are "nice" places to work.

I teach in a middle school and this is my third year. It is a low income school with a HIGH transient population. The staff and administration are awesome. The first year was pure hell. My kids were older, so I was able to survive. The second year was a rough start and then got much better...after I started taking anti-depressants and anti-anxiety drugs. Oh, and my thyroid was all out of wack so I started synthroid.

Then I had a baby and took a year off. I was able to get off all the drugs (it's amazing what stress will do to you) and bond with my new baby. He is 14 months now.

I went back to work this year half-time. We have a block schedule so I work full-days, every other day. I leave the house at 7:00 and I walk back in the door at 3:30. We are still nursing, but I do not pump. He nurses all day when I am home and before/after work on work days. We still co-sleep. So far it is working out well. I have already had to say "no" to lots of requests for covering classes, supervising field trips, attending meetings on my off-days. It is hard for me to say no, but if I take on too much everyone suffers.

Your babies are too young for you to be away for such long hours, especially overnight. You are making the right decision. Tell them now, if they act like jerks (well bigger jerks) leave now. Your health and your childrens health is not worth it.

[lalaland42]

Sounds like you are making the right decision. Hurry up Xmas.

I guess I would tell them now. For me, it would be a huge weight off my shoulders, but I can't keep my mouth shut anyways.

[daekini]

ARGH!!! Just when I think we've got things figured out...

DH is applying for elementary teaching jobs. We'd kind of like to move out of state.

He won't get his license til December... Some places will take apps before you have your license in hand, others won't.

Long story short - if he gets a (good!) job that starts mid-year - rare, but it does happen, right? - then I'll feel really good about quitting... but if he doesn't, he said he'd be happy to be the SAHP until the end of the school year so that I would feel better about working.

The really good thing is that it would mean I'd have a paycheck through the summer and benefits, too, and we'd have the freedom to travel around looking for jobs and places to live...

It would be much easier to work knowing that the babes were home with DH, but I'd still miss them. What to DO????

DH is wonderful with the kids, loves CDs and would even bring them to school at lunch time to visit. That might just make life bearable....

I'm so confused!

[Maggie05]

Just a small thing to consider, if you do want to teach again someday, having a year of experience under your belt would be helpful. On the other hand, leaving mid-year is not looked upon favorably by other employers, as they fear you might leave them in the lurch, so to speak.

Most employers know that if you leave a teaching job mid-year, it can be because you "couldn't take the stress".

About 10 years ago, I stayed in a hell school (I mean HELL) for the whole year for this very reason. The next year I was hired at a well respected, excellent high school and have been there since (but I still have kids with attitudes)

If you feel you don't want to teach again, disregard this advice!

[daekini]

consider the advice disregarded but thank you!!!

[Leatherette]

I had to resign from my job on Friday. The worst part is that I had to do it by e-mail, because I looked all over the school for the department head, the vice principal and the principal, and couldn't find any of them. I wonder what Monday morning will be like....

[daekini]

ohmygoodness!
I'm doing the same thing on Monday (but I have an appt with the principal). I wonder how long I'll have to keep working after I quit? I mean, I know 30 days, but I hope they already know of someone who can teach my classes.

Wishfull thinking probably, right?

I had decided that I'd stick it out, but my babies are really suffering, and I miss them so badly that I can hardly force myself to leave in the morning. I just can't be away from them any more!

How long will it be before you get to leave your job... and, what pushed you over the edge?

[Leatherette]

I am a special education teacher, and the principal was telling me that I could not pull kids out of their regular classes to work on their IEP goals. She wants me to use grade level curriculum for kids who are 3-4 years below grade level, and "modify" it in my spare time, as I have no planning time (oh wait, I have 20 minutes a day to plan individually designed instruction for 11 kids in 5 subject areas!!). I told her that I was supposed to be half time and have been working close to 7hours most days. Her response was, "This is a hard job." I have been paying out more in childcare than I have been making.

And no one from the building came to my last IEP meeting, which I came to work an hour early for and had to practically drag my daughter out of bed and run her over to daycare for. And I gave a few reminders to all.

So, she is asking me to break the law by not following kids IEP's, dismissing my concerns, and telling me that pulling students out to help them learn the skills they need is "disrupting learning" of regular ed students. I talked to the district's human resources about the situation, and they said I can leave whenever I want, give no notice, and still get another job in the district. So I will offer her tomorrow or Wednesday as my last day.

She never checks her e-mail, or her mailbox (although she swears she does, so I continue to try to contact her those ways to have documentation), so I will probably be announcing it for the first time to her tomorrow. But it felt good to have that e-mail written before the weekend - at least I felt like I did something. I am pretty nervous about tomorrow. But I have to focus on my sanity and my kids.

As she has not let me do anything for my students, I don't feel that my leaving will impact them too much, but it will certainly put a fire under the administration's butts to change their ways or at least put a real effort into hiring someone who is full time. And I am sure that there are plenty of certified special education teachers sitting around who haven't been hired yet for the year.....: I can't believe she is doing this. Maybe she enjoys chaos.

There are a bazillion other issues as well - with the district's human resources and the central special ed. administration. I am not sure I can work for the district at all. I think I am just going to volunteer in my son's classroom and watch carefully. I am so disappointed. I am a big advocate of public education (still am, in theory),and I really thought that despite it's problems, the district was really trying to do well. I have experienced gross ineptitude at every turn. And I think very little of it can be blamed on funding or the fact that there are a lot of low income students.

L.

[daekini]

Good luck today... it sounds like you have more than enough reasons to quit!

I'm so nervous about my meeting today that I haven't been able to sleep or eat. I'm forcing cereal down right now...

[Leatherette]

OMG, I haven't been able to sleep or eat, either. I have lost 5 pounds in the last two weeks. I am afraid to eat, because I don't think I will be able to keep it down. I have 6 years of teaching experience, and this is the only job that has made me physically ill and unable to sleep. And so angry I am perpetually tingling.

Best of luck with your meeting. I'll check in here this afternoon.

L.

[Leatherette]

Well, I am already home. Done. The principal said she got my e-mail and refused to talk to me, other than to say, while gritting her teeth, "You've made a choice." After that, it was so easy to walk out that door. But I cried after I said goodbye to my kids. It is going to be a tough year for them.

L.

[daekini]

I did it! I quit!


I can't believe this, but the administration was sooo supportive. They felt that my family should be my first priority. The person at central office actually said that I could have brought my son to school.

I gave 30 days, but rumor has it that a sub will be brought in soon (because it's cheaper!) and I'm unhappy about that because my classes are difficult to control under the best of circumstances. The administration is really going to have their hands full. I feel pretty badly about dropping the ball on them, but I really need to be back with my babies!

L, I hope you're loving your time at home. I can't imagine how relieved I'll feel when this nightmare is finally over! Everyone keeps telling me that the kids are really resilient and will be fine without me - I hope your students will be okay, too. You've made the right decision!