a question about this board

[Linda on the move]

some of the boards on MDC have specifc rules, such as no post advocating spanking, so would it be a good idea or a bad idea for the homeschool board to have a few rules?

Specifically, I think that threads bashing a particular style of homeschooling could be banned.

One on hand, I think that people should be able to talk about what they've tried that didn't work. "we tried Singapore, the kids hated it, we dumped it," seems fine, but threads that serve no purpose but to bash a homschooling style seem really out of place because they aren't supportive.

I'm not sure how one could draw the line, though.

Any thoughts?

[Brisen]

Doesn't the user agreement already say that bashing isn't allowable? I think the difference with spanking is that you can't talk about it in a *positive* way, right? Hence the separate rule. We can discuss different methods, but once it turns into bashing (or if the OP is bashing), that can be shut down. I guess what I'm saying is, there already is a rule in place to deal with that, and if you run into it, you can use the "report post" button.

A sticky might help clarify what is considered bashing or not, though.

[annettemarie]

I think I hear what you're saying. Statements like "cyberschooling isn't schooling at home," "Waldorf is stupid and cult-based," "no one should unschool because it's just insane," or "if you use an online academy you're jus being lazy" all are hurtful. To me, that's a world apart from "I found Five in a Row to be a waste of money" or "Don't waste your time buying Saxon K". I do think a sticky would be helpful. We should be here to support one another no matter what homeschooling path we've chosen, not judging each others' choices.

[SagMom]

Originally Posted by Brisen

I guess what I'm saying is, there already is a rule in place to deal with that, and if you run into it, you can use the "report post" button.

Yes, there IS a rule in place, and, as long the powers that be address concerns that are presented to them, I don't see why an additional rule would be necessary.

[Roar]

I guess I'm wondering what folks need to be protected from. It seems to me if you are secure in your choices you can hear that the same choices didn't work for someone else without getting upset about it.

[AllisonK]

I have never read any threads like that here. I have not been here that long though. I find the "didn't like ......." threads helpful. Everyone here is really respectful of others (in my opinion) so I don't really see the need for a rules sticky. But either way is fine with me.

Allison

[Brisen]

Originally Posted by Roar

I guess I'm wondering what folks need to be protected from. It seems to me if you are secure in your choices you can hear that the same choices didn't work for someone else without getting upset about it.

I think there is a difference between saying something didn't work for you, and making sweeping generalizations about a method and/or the people who employ it.

[LeftField]

I haven't read the entire thread that's been referred to. But I would imagine it would depend on the language and use of generalizations. I think that many people here would have no problem saying why they don't like early academics for preschoolers, classical education and structured school at home. But whenever someone says that unschooling didn't work for them, it seems like someone tries to convince them that something else might be wrong or that they actually still are unschooling. I understand that there are heavy generalizations used but that all methods probably deal with their share of unfair generalizations. Edited to remove something I said that I now regret. I just don't want to add fuel to the fire.

I personally don't have a problem with a critique of anything, provided that the language is not truly bashing and that huge generalizations are not made.

[onlyzombiecat]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

I think I hear what you're saying. Statements like "cyberschooling isn't schooling at home," "Waldorf is stupid and cult-based," "no one should unschool because it's just insane," or "if you use an online academy you're jus being lazy" all are hurtful. To me, that's a world apart from "I found Five in a Row to be a waste of money" or "Don't waste your time buying Saxon K". I do think a sticky would be helpful. We should be here to support one another no matter what homeschooling path we've chosen, not judging each others' choices.

I agree.

[Heavenly]

Until I see a bashing thread on here I will reserve judgement. IMHO the thread being referenced to is not bashing in the slightest. I find it ridiculous to be honest that people are getting so bent out of shape about it. If you are confident in your choices then why does it rock your world for people to question them? Last time I checked this is not the unschoolers board but the HOMESCHOOLERs board which encompasses all types of at home learning that some people may or may not agree with.

[Linda on the move]

Originally Posted by Roar

I guess I'm wondering what folks need to be protected from. It seems to me if you are secure in your choices you can hear that the same choices didn't work for someone else without getting upset about it.

I think the point of this board is homeschooling support and information. I don't think that any poster here should feel the need to *defend* what works for them. Although the idea of *protecting* people is demeaning, sometimes when someone comes to a *support* board, they may actually need support.

Originally Posted by Heavenly

IMHO the thread being referenced to is not bashing in the slightest.

I didn't reference any particular thread because more than one thread prompted me to ask this question. Some of those threads were about unschooling, some were about other things.

Originally Posted by leftfield

I personally don't have a problem with a critique of anything, provided that the language is not truly bashing and that huge generalizations are not made.

This is really what I was trying to figure out -- where the line is between critiquing and, well, bashing.

BTW, none of the threads here rock my world or get me bent out of shape, but the overall tone of this board isn't what it once was and I miss the old days.

[frogguruami]

I think if we weren't able to discuss what does and does not work for us and why then what would be the purpose of this board. If there are 10000 of us on this board then there are 10001 ways to homeschool.

Of all the boards on MDC, this is the least judgemental of them. People are very accepting of everyone elses styles of hsing. I can't think of ANY threads where people have been hurtful or bashed on this board. I can think of a few threads that had slightly misleading titles or could have been misinterpreted but ultimately they were from misinformed or uninformed people trying to educate themselves.

I don't think this board can even be compared to some of the other boards. MDC supports intactness (is that the right word) so there will be no support or tollerance of pro circing. MDC support breastfeeding so there will be no support or tollerance of pro formula. Homeschooling is not as cut and dry. There are is a fairly small list of reasons people breastfeed, don't spank, don't circ and those reasons are pretty black and white/cut and dry. (and I am not in anyway minimizing those) HSing isn't like that and HSing isn't an all or nothing thing. As life changes and kids grow needs change.

I guess I think of this board as a spectrum with school-at-home on one end and radical unschooling on the other. I figure we all are on that spectrum somewhere therefore we need to be able to discuss everything that can fall into that spectrum. I also think the members of this board are fabulous at respecting the hsing styles of everyone else. There are people that think school-at-home is a bad way to hs. There are also people that think unschooling is bad. But these people can still have a conversation about their beliefs without stepping on each other and bashing each other.

[ShannonCC]

Originally Posted by Linda on the move

the overall tone of this board isn't what it once was and I miss the old days.

No, it isn't. The homeschooling forum has radically changed this summer and I think it's very sad. I used to love this place and now I no longer feel welcome here at all.

I don't think any rules can help this. There's no point.

[dharmamama]

Originally Posted by ShannonCC

The homeschooling forum has radically changed this summer

In what ways? What do you feel is different?

Namaste!

[annettemarie]

Originally Posted by ShannonCC

I don't think any rules can help this. There's no point.

This makes me sad. I have no idea what thread is/isn't being referenced, but if we want this to be a positive, supportive community, we can make it happen. Come on, Shannon. Show us your can-do spirit! (Where's a cheerleader smilie when you need it? )

Seriously, obviously I have missed whatever precipitated this, but it sounds like regardless of how some individuals personally felt about the thread-that-must-not-be named, there's a need for some healing here. Brushing off people's feelings with a "deal with it" or "grow a thicker skin" isn't helpful.

[GoodEats]

Broadly speaking, I have tired of being implicated as "elitist", "coercive" and another drudge (even unwittingly... and, frankly, that may irritate me more) in a right-wing conspiracy to take over the world. I imagine those who use a virtual academy probably feel the same way about being branded as lazy and uncreative and unschoolers as also lazy and neglectful.

It's funny, though, I don't really have a problem with threads that are created to ask - even pointedly - questions about a certain style. Really, even philosophically "bashing" threads aren't much of an issue; they're generally great sources for finding good information about the practical application of a particular style and lots of external links because people here tend to have lots of resources to use to dispell misinterpretations.

Some of those types of threads have led me to a much better understanding of the various styles of homeschooling and have led me to a place where I can embrace fluidity of hoemschooling and the changes that have and may come about in our styles, not as failures but an inevitable part of our familiy's growth.

My irritation comes up when somebody is clearly looking for support - asking for ideas, resources or other help - regarding whatever path they feel is a good fit for them and their family and a whole slew of people who clearly do not feel the love for <insert topic here> jump in to tell the OP why what they're doing is wrong/harmful/useless/whatever. It's not a matter of "I tried x and wasn't fond of it for y reasons". That seems to be the type of information people are looking for. Sometimes, though, the responses are akin to answering a post requesting reviews of breast pumps (on the breastfeeding board) with a dissertation on why the OP doesn't need a breast pump, that breastfed babies should never be given a bottle, that mothers should never have to be separated from their infants, etc. I can see where someone just starting out (new homeschooler, new mother) could feel very stressed getting seemingly hostile answers to a question not asked.

Just my 2 cents (or 500 words) on the subject. I thought I'd noticed a change of tone, as well, but I've ceratinly not been around as long, nor as prolific as others on the board.

[RedWine]

Originally Posted by Heavenly

Until I see a bashing thread on here I will reserve judgement. IMHO the thread being referenced to is not bashing in the slightest. I find it ridiculous to be honest that people are getting so bent out of shape about it. If you are confident in your choices then why does it rock your world for people to question them? Last time I checked this is not the unschoolers board but the HOMESCHOOLERs board which encompasses all types of at home learning that some people may or may not agree with.

ITA.