Attitude change

[mamarhu]

After years of answering kids' whines at the store with, "We can't afford that" I have changed to "We don't need that". I explain why the old whatever is still good enough, why buying new whatsits is bad for the environment, how we could get it at a thrift store if we really want it, etc. It has shifted the feeling, for me and the Dumplings, from deprivation to satifaction with what we have.

Minor change in perspective, but I had never thought to state it clearly to the kids before.

[A&A]

I think that really helps your kids not be so anxious about not having "enough" money as well. You're making a choice not to spend your money. That's a good attitude.

[TiredX2]

It's a hard change to make, but I find that change to be liberating as well.

[melissel]

That's great! I did that awhile back, mainly because I remember as a kid being worried about money when my parents said we couldn't afford things. I also felt disingenuous saying we couldn't afford something, when the truth was actually that xyz was not something we need or choose to spend on our money on right now, for various reasons. I always say we can put it on our birthday/holiday list, or that we can consider what we have in our piggy banks and think for awhile about the purchase. The majority of requests are never repeated and never make it to the list, and the ones that recur I accept as important desires and actually make a point to remember to access the list and add them My in-laws ALWAYS ask what they can get the girls for holidays, so it helps to have the list handy.

It's funny, but I actually found myself discussing marketing tactics (IRT coupons and commercials) and giving to charities with a not-quite-4-year-old this past week I wish my parents had been upfront with me about money and finances when I was young. It would have saved me a lot of worry about whether we'd have enough food to eat (we always did) as a kid, and a lot of credit card debt as an adult!

[lotusbeans]

Originally Posted by mamarhu

After years of answering kids' whines at the store with, "We can't afford that" I have changed to "We don't need that". I explain why the old whatever is still good enough, why buying new whatsits is bad for the environment, how we could get it at a thrift store if we really want it, etc. It has shifted the feeling, for me and the Dumplings, from deprivation to satifaction with what we have.

Minor change in perspective, but I had never thought to state it clearly to the kids before.

This is great! I think it will also teach them that just because you can afford something doesn't mean you need to buy it. I think the message with, "we can't afford that," is sort of, "if we could, we would get it." Yay!

[babyj]

My response is "Mommy & Daddy are saving their money". To me that means we have the money but are making the decision to use it differently. Sometimes we get into a discussion about what we are saving for (college, vacation, a new car). Usually, the subject drops. DS is totally into cars and the thought of a new car is very powerful to him. He's nearly 5. Won't he be surprised when we buy a not very cool used Honda!

He also gets an allowance and if he wants something he can choose to spend his money. Interesting to me that he is saving it.....

bj

[MaddieMay]

I love that response! Even though I don't have children yet, it's so inspiring to read about how many of you are teaching your children about money and the healthy attitudes you are developing.

[Mizelenius]

I love this! And it's so true . . .when it comes down to it, there are many things that we CAN afford that I just don't want to spend the money on. We just don't need them!

I still haven't figured out how to include my DD in the decision-making process though . . .for now it's just birthdays and Christmas for presents for her, and when she's older, an allowance, too.

By limiting her gifts, it helps me "keep it real" and limit my own extras, too.