Sick kids and childcare...

[1jooj]

OK--here we go again! Ds spends a few hours per day, a few days a week (usually around 20 hrs) at my sister's for day care. Her place is great, and she has kids of her own, so there is plenty to do and lots of structure, home cooked food and love.

The number one problem I have though is that a nasty illness usually pops up at least every 2 weeks, in at least one if not two or more of her kids. She also co-ops care with a friend who brings her kids over--and does not hesitate to bring over kids with a fever!!! Illnesses range from goopy colds to rashes to strep to barfing flus to diarrhea. Seems like it's often, and I have to rely a lot on contingency plans.

I love what ds brings home from their house--the songs, skills, words, etc. (a few minor agression issues come up but hey he's approaching 2 now). Any suggestions on keeping healthy? What are your daycare contingency plans?

[Very Snoofly]

No real answers...just sympathy! My daughter goes to a daycare center one day a week, and ever since she started (in January), she's had a runny nose. It's finally clearing up this week, but now she's getting her molars...ah, the fun never ends.

My mother-in-law is choosing to blame the runny nose on our dogs. : What a coincidence, that she suddenly became allergic to the dogs at the same time she started daycare...hmmm...And I guess all the other toddlers in Mallory's room are also allergic to our dogs because they all have runny noses too...hmmm....

I will say that our center has a "sick kid" policy--you can't bring your kid in if he/she has a fever (of over 100, I think), diarrhea, pinkeye, and a handful of other symptoms, so that keeps the more serious ailments at bay. Maybe your sister's co-op should look into something like that, just to try to keep each other's children healthy.

As far as contingency plans, I'm pretty lucky. If my daughter's really sick, I can stay at home and get some work done on my laptop--I have a very flexible, understanding boss who at one time also had kids in daycare! And Mallory stays with my mother-in-law three days a week anyway, and mil doesn't mind taking her when she's sick.

[mamaduck]

Your state licensing people should have a list of criteria for keeping kids home from daycare, that you sister could enforce. (And must, if she is licensed. Also, it helps a lot of she insists the kids wash hands frquently using a antibacterial soap, and if she provides paper towels for drying instead of cloth towels that get shared. Also, she should be keeping a basin of water/disinfectant on her counter to throw toys in which have been mouthed, to soak and then be rinsed later.

The frequnet illnesses are something that will lessen with time. The first year my son went to preschool was hellish for us in terms of illness, but as soon as his immune system adjusted to being around other kids every day, things improved.

[ShellyK.]

venting here

I guess I feel like the best contigency plan is to be home with a sick kid. I know that I am (along with my nummies) the best comfort for my dd when she's feeling crappy. Unfortunately, this has me in trouble at work. I was given a verbal warning by my boss on Monday about taking too many sick days.

My usual daycare is Grandmacare, but last week grandma was on vacation and while dd was at the back-up, she got sick. Backup would have been willing to keep dd, but I didn't want her to be with an unfamiliar person while sick, know what I mean? Anyway, after getting a verbal warning on Monday, guess who comes down with a fever again this week? So I take off early to go to the doctor. I left her at Grandma's on Tuesday, but she was miserable with a high fever all day that lasted into the night. So Wed, I stayed home in the morning. DD was able to fall asleep at the breast and get a good nap in. The fever broke by noon so I went into work.

So this morning, I find out that because I took more sick time this week, I'm being placed on 30 day probation. Isn't that peachy. I'm obviously still very sore about this. Anyone else have this happen to them?

[pahkahsmom]

mommas not bringin home the bacon this week!

eek. just what i needed. when i was pregnant, i (blissfully) would rub my belly and reassure my boss that i would return to 40 hours only moments after our wee-one was born. they all nodded and agreed. moments turned into weeks and weeks turned into 3 months. and then three months later turned into part time. now, i'm back full time. (well, trying to do full time in about 3 1/2 days.) my daughter goes to daycare- a really incredible one too. which i love and hate all at the same time. she loves it and i hate to hear how much she loves it. cause darn it, it should be me spending time with her. and it's not that i don't want to. but see, there are a couple of issues.
1. my job gives our family insurance, which still costs us a fortune, even though work pays the majority of it.
2. i love my work.
3. my partner brings home so much more $$ than me- so when the little one is sick (which is often, thank you daycare) i stay home (thus missing work). Thankfully work is flexible. but sadly, in a way, i wish it wasn't. it might force me to make a decision instead of wavering back and forth about staying or quitting (cause at this rate, by the time i decide, she'll be in college)

how do you justify sending your precious ones to spends hours with someone else? why doesn't our govenrment put $$ and resources to moms instead of daycare providers???

ShellyK- is that legal? what about the family medical leave act? might that apply with your situation? it makes me mad to hear that your work is so unsympathetic and uncaring. being a mom is hard enough on a good day. being a mom and being stuck between a sick kid and a unwavering committment is even worse. we're forced to make tough choices.

UmmNuh- our daycare definatley has a sick policy. (for good and for bad) yours really should. as convenient as it might be for kids to be there (despite boogery noses and runny bums) it takes its toll not only on you and your little ones, but also on them- when my daughter is sick, there's no one better than mom or dad to snuggle away an earache.

thanks all for talking about this. it is so hard and something that i think about (struggle with) every day. anyone else?

[1jooj]

Thanks for your replies. My sister does try to enforce the sick kid policy--and it's only one other family she swaps time with--but the friend has played the Tylenol trick on her already!!! We were both furious over that--she ended up with a house full of strep (ds managed to avoid it). And her friend's job is only a few hours a week, and extremely flexible with hours...she just decided she'd rather go to work that day than care for her own sick child.

Grrrr.

Anyway, I feel worse about it for my sister than for myself. I have plans B and C (have used both this week), and if both fall through, I have flexibility at work. In the meantime, she gets illness after illness rolling through her home.

[1jooj]

By the way--I also thought Family Medical Leave Act protected our right to stay home with a sick child. Does is not? Dh said at woman at work has her job on the line over the same thing.

[Chelly2003]

My son is in a traditional day care, for the first two years of his life he came home with a LOT of colds, green snot the works.... I used all my sick time, some vacation time, dh used a lot of days (he doesnn't get sick pay) anyway.
All of a sudden, on his third birthday (or close) we changed day care, but it was amazing, all of a sudden he's not sick at all, I see kids at school with snot everywhere, and he just doesn't get it anymore (I think he has HAD it all at this point)
They've had strep, fifths and a few other nasties, but he's been fine, I've kept him home 2 days in 8 months - they were a few months apart, and it was just because he had a fever the night before, and the other time he had a snotty nose. (the fever turned out to be something up with his ear - it cleared up within 24 hours)

I think most children eventually get over being sick all the time, for the record for whatever difference it might make, my son is not vaccinated at all.

Chelly

[Marlena]

No, the FMLA does not apply to a worker who's out to take care of a child with a generic cold or flu. Here's a nutshell:

Employers who employ at least 50 employees (on an average day of the year; I forget how it goes) must allow up to 12 weeks unpaid leave to an employee who's been employed by that employer at least part time (1250 hours over the course of the year) for at least 12 months. The leave may be taken for the following conditions: birth or adoption of a child; care of a family member with a SERIOUS ILLNESS, or care of self with serious illness. (edited to add: I think there may be one other reason one can take leave, but I'm not coming up with it)

"serious illness" is defined as follows: "The term "serious health condition" means an illness, injury, impairment, or physical or mental condition that involves

* (A) inpatient care in a hospital, hospice, or residential medical care facility; or
* (B) continuing treatment by a health care provider."

Staying out to take care of a child with a generic cold or flu, again, won't cut the mustard under this definition (if someone knows of a caselaw interpretation that's contrary to this, please let me know!).

I take a sick day to stay home with my child when she's ill.

[ShellyK.]

Thanks for that clairification about the FMLA, Marlena. I suppose they were justified in taking this step because I have been using up my sick days basically as fast as I've been accruing them. I'm trying to see it from my employers perspective - I wouldn't want to be supervising someone who takes a lot of sick time. I'm guess I"m just most troubled by how these events unfolded. In my probation letter, my boss said that I should have found an alternative to taking sick time to be with my child and that it was "unacceptable behavior." I did that on the Tuesday that week - she was with Grandma - but she was miserable and didn't sleep long and didn't eat well. I guess the key thing is the breastfeeding that I'm able to do that no one else can. It provides comfort, food and hydration, the ability to sleep and it provides immunities: all things that help in recovery from illness!

[tessamami]

Originally posted by mamaduck
it helps a lot of she insists the kids wash hands frquently using a antibacterial soap, and if she provides paper towels for drying instead of cloth towels that get shared.

Antibacterial soap, now that's kinda silly. SOAP is antibacterial. I really think that "antibacterial" stuff is overkill.

But ITA with mamaduck on the sense she makes about paper towels, washing toys, general housekeeping, etc.

[Mere]

That's terrible that those kids are sent to daycare sick, not to mention completely unfair for the rest of you. If she suspects that the kids are sick, your sister should call her friend and insist that she come pick them up immediately. End of story. In addition to the usual 100 degree fever policy, they also use the criteria that kids should not be in daycare if they cannot go about their usual activities. So for example, kids can have runny noses for forever, so as long as they're acting normal they're allowed to be in daycare (and they're probably not contagious at that point anyway). But, if they have a fever - even one that's been reduced with Tylenol - they're still going to acting lethargic, cranky, etc. right? Home they should go.

[1jooj]

We have also determined that our ds is probably allergic to the dogs my sister keeps. We have decided to try another provider, and pay more $$.

[1jooj]

We have also determined that our ds is probably allergic to the dogs my sister keeps. We have decided to try another provider, and pay more $$. We also have food issues because of religion (people around here eat a lot of pork...), and we are trying it out with Muslim friends.

[Foobar]

Goo goes to a daycare center. When she is sick, she must come home. If she vomits or fevers, she must wait 24 hours before returning. This weekend, she developed this hideous rash. Turned out to be her body finishing off a viral infection. We had to run to the doctor's, comfirm what it was (I was terrified of something contageous) and then get a note for daycare so they could take her back today.

They looked at me like an alien bringing her in today, but she isn't acting like the rash/hives are bothering her.

Dh stayed home with her on Tuesday. We switch who stays home with her when she is sick.

I would LOVE to have a back up person to come to my house and watch her when she's sick. Then I could get some work done and still be with her when she's grumpy, and know that she is in good hands.

[rockergirrl]

My DS goes to daycare and they have a sick policy but I see way too many children get dropped off there who I feel are too sick to be there. I don't think it is fair or right. When my DS is sick I am sorry but there is no way I am bringing him in. Work is not that important. Children are more important and I don't think it is right to have day care workers care for sick children. Not only does it get the other children sick but it also gets the daycare workers sick which means they have to take time off and not be caring for your child. I know in my day care the workers don't even get health benefits so it is not a good deal for them. Sorry to go off on this but it just makes me mad.