So, when are you . . .

[gretasmommy]

. . telling your friends/families/coworkers?

older siblings??!!!

This is my second child, and I am reeeeeally excited, bursting with the news! But, I don't want to share too soon. And what is too soon, anyway?

With G, we shared with others news of our new babe around 9 weeks or so. What are you planning at this point? I was thinking of getting an "I am the big sister" shirt for G (easily made, inexpensive, she'll love it!), and giving it to her, taking her pic in it and sending it to grandma. I think she has all but given up on more grandchildren!

[MommyTeesa]

I considered posting the same thing! I'm only 13DPO, but have told my mom and my almost 3.5 year old daughter knows as well (she handed DH the pregnancy test ). The in-laws have no clue we were even TTC, so it will be a TOTAL SHOCK! Here are some thoughts: Grandparents day is Sept. 10 (have considered the shirt pic idea); we will go to visit them sometime before mid Oct., but that seems so far away, I'll feel like we are lying if we don't tell soon. With DD we told them and my dad at 5 weeks (again, my mom right away).

[darsmama]

****EDITED TO ADD THE DISCLAIMER THAT I AM IN NO WAY SAYING THAT WHAT IS RIGHT FOR ME IS RIGHT FOR YOU! ALSO- THIS POST WAS MOSTLY JUST WONDERING ALOUD IN CYBERSPACE. YES, EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT.****


Everyone already knows. Not to sound all condensending or anything like that, but for me, personally I trust my body to do the right thing, whatever that is. If forbid, I had a m/c, I'd rather have some help and better understanding from family/friends then if all of a sudden I sprang it on them "I'm m/c" and they didn't even know I was preg. to begin with!

Kinda OT, but I wonder why we always wait to tell people? I mean, we are TRAINED to wait until atleast after 10 weeks. Is that so we don't inconveinance people if something bad happens? I never understood it, kwim?

Plus, I wanted some sympathy for my laziness. I'm pregnant, you know?
I think the right time is up to you individually.

[kdtmom2be]

I'm feeling a little stuck. I want to tell so bad but had just tested the night beore when I took my mother to the airport so she could fly out to see my dad and I wasn't sure that I wanted to tell so soon. She's not back until Oct 6th so I think I'm going to arrange with my brother to pick her up and tell her then. It's her first grandchild so I wanted to tell her in person.

At work, I am up for a promotion, and I hate to say it, but knowing that I am PG would undoubtedly affect thier decision to promote me. I don't want to work for them long-term anyways, but the benefits are good and I would be happy there barring any better offers and need to get into mid/upper management SOON so it will be easier to get a job when kiddos are in school. It's all a bit convoluted, but I have a plan! Anyhow, I'm going to hold off telling them as long as possible. So far I am not having morning sickness and can hide my exhaustion most days. They know I don't sleep well on the best of days (chronic insomniac) so that's nothing new. I've only made a few brainless mistakes so far and that was before even WE knew!

[stanleymama]

We have already told my parents, dh sister, my brother and a couple friends back in WI. WE are trying to get in touch with mil to tell her, but she is really busy right now.

My b-day is a week from tomorrow and dh is planning a "surprise party" for me with our class friends here at school. Only they don't know that I know and that the real suprise is telling them that we are pg!!!

Personally, I am ready to spread the news. Makes it all more real. But in the past we have waited because some family have not been excited or supportive, so why put a damper on our happiness by telling them. Yet now, I just don't care so much and it seems that since we have taken a break, everyone is once again happy to hear that we are expecting.

I agree with a pp, its all a personal choice as to how and when you want to tell.

[jandj+1]

I'm torn. I lost my mother in March, so I know it would really make my family happy to know there's something good coming out of this cursed year. And that makes me want to tell everyone NOW. But, if I do miscarry (threatened already ), I don't want to add any more sorrow. Our plates are full already, you know?

So, I'm thinking we'll compromise and spill the beans after we have a confirmed heartbeat.

[clavicula]

i found out i was pg a week after my dad died, so i told my mom. dh knows of course, and some friends, but noone else yet.

[darsmama]

Jand I am so very sorry to hear about your mom. I know you must miss her terribly ):

Clav, and to you too regarding your father ): Very sorry for both of you ladies.

[Slingin'Momto4]

We already told our other kiddos who are SIKED. My Aunt knows, I didn't tell her she guessed. We have also told one friend. We are not going to tell my Mom, sister or his parents bro/sis for a little while. I am not sure when but I just don't want to hear any negative comments.

[MommyTeesa]

Not that I should defend my decision ... I am conflicted because I would love to tell family in person, but we are 6 hours away from ILs and my dad. We aren't going down this long weekend or the next. I agree that I want my family to know I'm pg, even if I miscarry. DH kinda wants to wait, not sure why, probably he think his parents will be overly excited - what's the harm in that? Anyway, there's just no way I will wait until I'm 10-12 weeks - I'm not that strong. Who knows, maybe we'll spill the beans today.

Oh, there are a couple people who know we are ttc - my 2 internship surpervisors and my daughter's preschool/daycare provider - and I will tell them soon, esp. when I start feeling tired and pukey. I kinda wish I'd have not told - generally I'm too forthcoming and keeping a secret is kinda fun, but also feels like lying.

[darsmama]

Ohhh, I hope no one thought I was attacking or anything like that. ): I just started rambling and didn't stop..
I didn't offend anyone in my PP did I?

[MonkeyPrincess]

The only people who know are my dh, my midwife (I saw her the day I tested!), my sister and her husband (who live with us right now) and my best friend (who I just told two days ago).

I wanted to have the "secret" to myself a little bit and enjoy it for a bit. I know my family will not be so thrilled...they weren't really with the others, so I can't imagine why they'd change their reaction for number 5.

I am planning on telling the kids asap, I have a couple things left I want to get to help me tell them. I'm trying to make telling them super fun, since they will probably be the only ones that are excited!

You know what, my neighbors will be happy for me and I am looking forward to telling them. Two of them are pregnant right now, one just about ready to deliver. And another one is trying to get pregnant.

One of the reasons I wanted to wait was that one of my best friends just had a miscarriage and she is having a difficult time with hearing other people are pregnant. She already told me that she will probably not talk to me for a while, if I get pregnant first. So I'd like her to tell me she's pregnant again, then I could tell her!

[MommyTeesa]

I hoped the would show I wasn't offended - anyone have insight to help us with our decision? And I'm so sad to hear about the recent losses of parents.

[darsmama]

Originally Posted by MommyTeesa

I hoped the would show I wasn't offended - anyone have insight to help us with our decision? And I'm so sad to hear about the recent losses of parents.

DUH!

I'm sorry, both my daughters have the flu and I haven't went to bed yet! Too sensitive/overtired/horomonally charged still!!!

[darsmama]

Originally Posted by MommyTeesa

Not that I should defend my decision ... I am conflicted because I would love to tell family in person, but we are 6 hours away from ILs and my dad. We aren't going down this long weekend or the next. I agree that I want my family to know I'm pg, even if I miscarry. DH kinda wants to wait, not sure why, probably he think his parents will be overly excited - what's the harm in that? Anyway, there's just no way I will wait until I'm 10-12 weeks - I'm not that strong. Who knows, maybe we'll spill the beans today.

Oh, there are a couple people who know we are ttc - my 2 internship surpervisors and my daughter's preschool/daycare provider - and I will tell them soon, esp. when I start feeling tired and pukey. I kinda wish I'd have not told - generally I'm too forthcoming and keeping a secret is kinda fun, but also feels like lying.

IMO: I'd totally tell everyone with a picture of your DD wearing a "Big Sister 2007" tee or something.
Maybe doing the Home alone face!

[crazyknitter]

Not sure when we will share. 9/28 would have been my edd if I had not miscarried last march, maybe then??
I do think we will tell our kids today, they can keep a secret. As for family, not sure. I will tell close friends, as I need the support.

[EricaE]

I've told a few co-works of mine, but I haven't told any family yet except my mom (try as I may, I cannot keep secrets from my mother ). We have suffered many early pregancy losses, and so we're waiting until at least we have a heartbeat before telling family.

[gretasmommy]

So sorry to hear of your losses, Clavicula and JandJ+1. It's so difficult to feel rboth really happy and terribly sad both at once. I remember that feeling with my forst pregnancy, as I was about 14 weeks mid September, 2001. It was absolutely awful, and I felt so conflicted about being even the least little bit happy. Hopefully your new babes will be the center of joy for your families this spring.

Darsmama - I totally agree with you about wanting and needing the support during the difficult first weeks . . .. bit the thing is, I am enjoying my little secret! As much as I am bursting to tell others, I am really loving this special time when DH and I share a moment together, knowing about our little one as someone else is mentioning a friend/relative having a baby this spring. This happened at Meeting (we are Quakers) this morning, and it was so nice! An older Friend was telling us about her upcoming second grandchild, due to join us in late February. I just wanted to tell her about our little one as well, but then it was nice to feel DH just gently squeeze my hand and smile .

Anyway, not sure how/when we will share with the world . . for now, it's nice to have it be "just us" for a little bit longer!

[Lizzo]

I am waiting untill I am 12 weeks to tell almost anyone. My m/c was so horrid and people were pretty cruel to me (friends,family)..I would have rather dealt with it all alone.
I am so excited though!

[gretasmommy]

How awful for you, Lizzo!

People can be terrible, can't they.