Oops...I did it again...

[ladybugchild77]

I am a raging lactavist (at least my dh told me that a few minutes ago) Chalk this up to pregnancy hormones - I have four friends and a cousin who are all expecting. I was looking through the registries and only one out of four has any sort of breastfeeding related items...sigh...I was venting to my dh about it and said I might send them a few things they want off the list along with some friendly BF literature or some Lansinoh or something and he YELLED at me! : He told me "different strokes for different folks" and that just because I chose to BF (and still am) our dd tha tnot everyone else feels that way. I KNOW that - I am just diappointed. I understand that formula is necessary for those who cannot BF but to chose it over BF is beyond me - especially when they have me as their crunchy, BF friend. I *could* be wrong here but it certainly seems like they will not be BF as there are copious amounts of bottles and forumas on their registries...thanks for listening...

[sapphire_chan]

Make up a gift basket with things from their registeries and a breastfeeding book--preferably one you've used. Pretend like you never even saw the formula, et al on the lists and gush about how helpful the books were for you as a new mother if anyone asks. Heck, if they'll all be at the first shower, I'd even go "and I got the books for *all* of you, here's your copy and here's yours, but the rest of your gift will be a surprise at your shower!" Think "peppy" "cheerful" and "blissfully certain you are helping".

[Robin926]

I like what sapphire said. Just act as though NATURALLY everyone BFs and assume they will too. Don't be rude about it, just casual. Like "Oh you know XYZ is really helpful when you're nursing." I would definitely include BF info or supplies, just say that you know that info/product was really useful for you.

I'm sorry your DH wasn't understanding though.

[Serrendipity]

Isn't there some rule that husbands aren't supposed to yell at their pregnant wives??

Hugs mama! I think you're right on to give your friends BFing stuff, because even if they tell you they won't need it, it might open up a dialog about why they aren't BFing. And you might be able to talk them into at least trying. It's worth a shot anyway.

Serendipity

[hawkfeather]

aww.. your thought about the gifts is so thougthful and caring ..

I am sorry yer dh reacted so harshly.

[tash11]

my husband is that same way. he is supportive of ME bfing. but as far as other people are concerend.... anyway.....

[dukeswalker]

husbands? well...I'll just let that one go this morning - as HE woke dd up by going to the bathroom at 6:30 this AM and now I am the one sitting on the comuputer while he snoozes. grrrrr....:

But, yes, for sure give them something (a book would be great - something light hearted tooo - I usually hand out "So That's What They're For")....After having my 1st I was determined that I would never try to nurse a child again. : A friend of mine and LLL leader had asked me if I planned to nuse when I was expecting my 2nd - I flat out told her "Nooooo way." and she said "Well, hey, if you change your mind here is a great book- it's really funny too!" And the seed wad planted!

[ladybugchild77]

Thanks, ladies! I really needed all of those hugs! Here's one back: I will definitely look for that book and include it as well as some Lansinoh in their boxes - unfortunately I cannot go to any of the baby showers as they are all in different states form me. I also am going to put together a "Top 10" list of things I wish I knew before I had a baby: breastfeeding tips will definitely be on there...along with my phone number in case they need help @ 4am! Thanks again - it is so nice to come here and have people who understand give support. Now I don't feel like the breastfeeding "wierdo" I am made out to be a lot around here...

[LydiaJW]

Haha I had a similar thing happen. I was shopping off a registry with a friend, and said "I REFUSE to buy any FF stuff..." (Bottles, etc) She of course rolled her eyes at me. In the end I just made my own gift for her, not really including a whole lot of BF stuff but at least some books by dr. Sears. So hopefully that will help.

[prettypixels]

Just a thought... how about including some tasty snack/granola/protein type mama bars in there and comment happily about HOW MANY CALORIES breastfeeding burns! I mean, who doesn't love that?!?!? Good luck

[ColoradoMama]

He YELLED at you? Is he still alive? Because if so, I'd say you're a very patient and understanding wife!!!

If this is their first baby, they may not have even thought about that stuff really. I remember getting bottles from a friend as a baby gift (and I was planning on bfing), and honestly, I didn't even think anything about it. They were Winnie the Pooh bottles and all I thought was, "Aw, how cute!" They decorated the nursery (which dd never used) for months before it even hit me about how odd it was!!! Definitely give them the book! One of dh's co-workers is expecting (he is sort of her boss actually). She is planning on going back to work after the baby is born. I'm going to give her a copy of "Working Mother, Nursing Mother" (or whatever it's called!). I have no idea if she's planning on bfing or not!

[frontierpsych]

I like raging lactivists!

[utahandy]

I never registered for any breast feeding stuff either. I already had what I needed :2bfbabe: and I had pads because I start leaking about 6 months along . just because they don't register for a pump,boopy, books ect... does'nt mean there not nursing. Those things aren't needed that's just my 2 cents

[ladybugchild77]

Originally Posted by utahandy

I never registered for any breast feeding stuff either. I already had what I needed :2bfbabe: and I had pads because I start leaking about 6 months along . just because they don't register for a pump,boopy, books ect... does'nt mean there not nursing. Those things aren't needed that's just my 2 cents

I agree with you, however, there WAS formula and tons of bottle son the registries which leads me to believe they ar enot nursing. I don't want to make assumptions though - you are right...

[St. Margaret]

I say go for it, offer gentle encouragement like others have said, like you didn't even think about it-- I love the idea of snacks and the book. You never know, and you might help change SOMEONE's mind, get them to think outside the "mainstream" box a bit...