Can anyone help me understand this?

[JayGee]

I was chatting with a friend last week. She has a son who is almost 5 months old. She is an exclusive pumper, but not for any reason other than breastfeeding "skeeves her out". She says she pumps 6x a day and then bottlefeeds and did the same with her daughter for the first year. She says he latches on just fine and she has nursed him when she hasn't had expressed milk handy, but she just can't bring herself to do it regularly. Now while I give her huge props for giving her child breastmilk, why the heck would someone add the hassle of pumping when they didn't need to????

I have to say that the whole thing made me a little sad.

[Ruthla]

I look at it this way:

She's committed to doing what she can to provide her baby with her own milk, even though it "skeeves her out." Lots of mothers in her situation would simply use formula.

[Momtwice]

http://www.lalecheleague.org/llleade...ebMar01p3.html
http://www.kellymom.com/bf/pumping/b...xcpumping.html

I've never had those feelings, so I can't answer about your friend, but these links are about moms who do this.

[prettypixels]

Thank society for forcing the breast into the "sexual object" box and never, never, allowing it to come out... IMO, that is what is going on. This woman feels like baby sucking on her breast is sexual and thus it bugs her and makes her uncomfy. It's really sad, actually, tho big props to her for continuing to provide milk for her baby anyways! I bet actually lots of women feel this way but cite other reasons for not breastfeeding later.

[dawncayden]

I was thinking today while out walking...when I hit puberty and started developing breasts, my mom never said anything about they are there to feed my babies when I'm older. I was told I am becoming a woman and men/boys will start to notice me and my breasts are private.
I wonder if thats where the whole sexualization of breasts starts? I mean as well as tv and magazines of course. But in that immature frame of mind when your about 13 and your confused at your body changing...would it not be helpful to learn they have purpose?
And sex-ed in school, I remember seeing pictures on how boys and girls change into men and women and the miracle of pregnancy, but breastfeeding was never mentioned. :
Is this because school cirriculums (lol can't sp) are from formula feeding times like in the 50's or what?
Since there were both boys and girls in my sex-ed class you would think that would be a perfect opportunity to educate everyone about what breasts are really for!

Dawn

[Ruthla]

Wow- interesting perspective on it!

My 11yo notices that some of her criss/cross bras are similar to nursing bras, and "nurses" her baby dolls (and her siblings' baby dolls.) Of course, this is the same child who (before she had breasts) "pumped" into her dolly bottle and put it in the fridge next to the real bottle of ebm.

[frontierpsych]

I could not imagine growing up not knowing what breasts were for! Wowzahs!

[Robin926]

I'm not proud of it, but before I ever got pg, I said I was going to do what the OP's friend is doing: EP and bottlefeed EBM. I knew that breastmilk was best, and of course I wanted the best for my hypothetical babies, but I was pretty squicked out by the thought of nursing a baby. Now once I got pg and started reading, I changed my mind because I read about the benefits of nursing at the breast and of course the extra work involved! But even up until the last month of my pregnancy, I was a little apprehensive about nursing. I grew up with vague mentionings of BFing, but almost everyone FF, so it was really after I was an adult that it hit me that that's what they're for!!

Thankfully, the moment DS was born any uneasiness melted away and I never felt icky about BFing. And I'm pretty embarrassed I ever felt that way. Just goes to show you how ingrained the sexualization of the breast is, and how BFing has made such a "taboo" subject that most people don't even think about it.

[blsilva]

Well, its not perfect, but at least its not formula, right?

[dawncayden]

Even while pregnant I thought I would bf until ds was 6 months and then pump until a year. I honestly thought bfing an 'older' baby would be wierd. Thank god I had an AP friend as well as dh and I took a (great AP) prenatal class...since then the plan was 2 years of bfing. I feel I've come a long way.

Dawn

[Mrs.PhD]

For me breast feeding was natural and wonderful. While did (and does) have it's difficult moments, the benefits outweighed any tribulations of breast feeding.

However pumping I never liked, always thought it was "strange" and kind of weried me out. I did it (I worked part time 20 hours a week with my 1st born) and I didn't hate it. When my 2nd child was born and I didn't work, I barely pumped at all (except when she skipped feeding and or I was engorged.)

We had a hard time getting breast feeding to work with my 1st child. I had vowed I would pump and bottle feed as long as I had to, but I sure worked hard not let that happen.

Anyway my point is I don't understand not liking breast feeding, but being ok with pumping. : Still at least the baby got the breast milk and that is great for that mother! Good for her in that way.

[annettemarie]

This is one of those cases where I am inclined to believe their is more to the mama's feelings and experiences than we know or are being told. It sounds like breastfeeding at all was a victory for her, so good for her and her little one!

[Shelsi]

Originally Posted by frontierpsych

I could not imagine growing up not knowing what breasts were for! Wowzahs!

It's weird, trust me. I had NO CLUE that women produced milk from their breasts until I was well into college. I was absolutely astounded by it when I found out and definitely grossed out by it right away. There was this lady walking around my work (Petsmart) NIP, this is how I even found out what bfing was, and I could not believe she would just show herself like that and be so grossly obsene. ETA: This is how I felt at the time, but not anymore!!

I never heard much about bfing at all again until I got prego. Of course I assumed I would ff until I was hit with the barage of bfing information that is out there today for pregnant women. Whenever I come across something that makes me uncomfortable or scared I research it to death. So that's what I did with bfing and so of course I chose to bf my baby. Unfortunately I didn't have the info or the support to go past 4 mos bfing (and 7 mos comfort nursing), but that's a heck of a step from where I started. And of course, now that I am even more informed I hope not to make the same mistakes with any future babies.

[Arwyn]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

This is one of those cases where I am inclined to believe their is more to the mama's feelings and experiences than we know or are being told. It sounds like breastfeeding at all was a victory for her, so good for her and her little one!

:

I don't think we need to understand it, honestly. We can support her and people like her in doing the best they can - and she's doing great. Exclusively pumping is not easy.

I don't think this has been mentioned yet, but a lot of sexual abuse survivors also can't really deal with suckling a baby (and, of course, a lot find healing it the same thing ).

[hawkfeather]

not everyone enjoys the feeling.. in fact it cane be a painful trigger for some!.. i think good for her for pumping a YEAR!!!

[Joannarachel]

I say, God bless her for putting her feelings aside as much as she can, to care for her baby in the best way she can

[sun-shine01]

Originally Posted by annettemarie

This is one of those cases where I am inclined to believe their is more to the mama's feelings and experiences than we know or are being told. It sounds like breastfeeding at all was a victory for her, so good for her and her little one!

: