Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › Preteens and Teens › Teen in a bad situation
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:

Teen in a bad situation  

post #1 of 13
9/5/06 at 12:02am
Thread Starter 
Her and her friends did something super stupid. Some older boy grabbed her friend at the mall and kissed her. She was totally flirting with him, and didnt mind the kiss at all but then she felt bad or something and went home and called her boyfriend and his friend and told them about it, The boyfriend and friend told her to call this guy (he is 19) and tell him to meet her and her friends at such and such a place, so girls meet up with him,out of no where this boyfriend and friend jump him and beat him so badly that he had to have his jaw wired. He was crying and screaming and Kayla felt so bad she almost didnt run away, but they all ran cause there were people around, the cops came and the ambulance. She told me that she wanted to stay there with him and hold him till someone came to help him but her friends were screaming at her to run. So she did. Now the police want to talk to her about what happened. And of course she is going to tell the truth but I am so affraid for her and her well being. If these boys could do this to a total stranger I fear what they might do to her for talking. Not sure why I am posting or what I am asking but I wanted to vent my fears
post #2 of 13
9/5/06 at 1:24am
Oh, I'm so sorry! That is a tough situation to be in, for both you and your daughter. I think the best thing is though, for your daughter to tell the truth. What those boys did was wrong, and terrible, and they need to be held accountable.. It's probably a mix of jealously, teenage egos that got out of control, and perhaps some disorder on part of the perpetrator. I was a teen not long ago, and I can imagine very clearly what your daughter is going through. It takes a big girl to stand up and do what's right, and wish her well. Let us know how it goes.
post #3 of 13
9/5/06 at 4:38pm
.... no words to help .....


Honesty is the best policy when it comes to this, and it can also make you rethink if your friends are really worth having.....
post #4 of 13
9/5/06 at 4:41pm
How she responds in this situation will affect her for a long time. So I strongly advise total honesty. If there is a danger to her from these violent boys, perhaps she can stay at someone else's house for a while, a relative or close family friend? The police will probably have good suggestions for this too.
post #5 of 13
9/5/06 at 4:50pm
I'd definitely keep her away from those boys. The best she can do now is tell the truth.
post #6 of 13
9/5/06 at 6:34pm
Thread Starter 
We want her to tell the truth, and she plans on it. As a mom though I worry for her well being after the fact. And it really breaks my heart that she didnt stay and help that boy...
post #7 of 13
9/5/06 at 6:35pm
I think she should consult with an attorney.
post #8 of 13
9/5/06 at 7:25pm
Oh mama, what a hard situation for your DD and you to be in! I totally understand her running away, and it may have been the best thing she could have done at the time... Who knows how violent the boys could have been towards her :

I can only imagine how she is beating herself up for not staying though

Can she visit the guy? Can both of you visit the guy?

As far as police, I agree with other mamas - truth and nothing but the truth.

What does her friend (the girl who got kissed) think about it?
post #9 of 13
9/5/06 at 7:45pm
Thread Starter 
She feels bad that all of this even happened. They all do. I suggested to Kayla to call the young man but she is affraid too. I guess people he knows are going after one of the young men and her friend. So she would rather be out of sight out of mind. Thank you all fo ryour support.
post #10 of 13
9/6/06 at 3:29pm
So, I had my husband read your post. He's a law enforcement officer. He said that, chances are, because she doesn't seem to be the type to cause trouble, the police will likely just get her part in the story with an added lecture about why it wasn't a good thing to do. Having said that, they'll also tell her to stay FAR away from those boys. That kind of assault is considered a felony assault because they intentionally beat him to a point where he could have had permanent damage. Those boys are probably going to get some community service and be on parole.

The fact that she is going to be completely honest about what happens is on her side 100%. Also, her parents need to make sure that she steers clear of those boys. According to hubby, boys that react with such violence for something as 'small' as a kiss are just as likely to react violently to her if she should try to break up with them.

It may not be as bad as it seems for her. Just tell her to be honest, take her parents with her and it'll all end up being okay.

Oh yea, and good for her for wanting to stay and help the guy. She should be assured to let them know that as well. I'm sure she'll learn a lot from this.
post #11 of 13
9/6/06 at 11:55pm
Thread Starter 
Thank you so much for your reply, can you ask him for me if the police havent called us to question her should we offer her insight to them on our own?
post #12 of 13
9/7/06 at 3:41am
He said that going forward on her own is best, that way she is showing responsibility, maturity and remorse. Also, they may not have the whole picture of why this happened. He also wanted me to add that if she didn't know the boys were going to hurt him like that, then to make sure she understands this is not her fault. While she did make a poor decision, she didn't hurt him. After all, we can't stop what we don't know is going to happen.
post #13 of 13
9/9/06 at 9:50am
Thread Starter 
Thank you for the advice!
New Posts  All Forums:Forum Nav:
  Return Home
  Back to Forum: Preteens and Teens
This thread is locked  
Mothering › Forums › Parenting › Ages and Stages › Preteens and Teens › Teen in a bad situation