10 year old and TV issues

[twinkltoes]

Hi all,

I have a 10 year old who, for lack of anything else to do, has the TV on non-stop after school and it drives me and my husband NUTS! I have tried limiting it in the past and punishing her if she exceeds her TV limits but it has not worked.

So I'm trying again. I told her yesterday that this year, she is allowed one hour of TV per day (which I still think is a lot but....ok) and that she could decide which hour so she said 6-7. Fine. But then last night she was crying because she was bored. I'm dying for her to read more - we have TONS of great books in the house AND she has a library card - but she hates to read. I've taken her several times for eye exams thinking maybe that was why but her vision is fine. I've suggested that she start cooking more from the cookbook that I bought her (she rather likes to cook) but that idea didn't turn her on. We live in an apartment (no yard) so it's not like I can suggest she go play with her sister outside, ride her bike, teach her to garden, etc.

I'm at my wits' end. I need IDEAS........

Thanks.

[SamuraiEarthMama]

i'll let you in on a little homeschooling secret: a little boredom is OK! it's when they get bored that they break out of old habits and try something new.

musical instrument? dance? sport? have some friends over and cook... write and film a movie... make a lemonade stand... dig a garden... volunteer at the animal shelter or wildlife rescue... make some "have a nice day" cards for the local nursing home or iraqi soldiers... make a neighborhood newspaper... start a new craft, like beadwork, knitting, sculpy, sewing, quilting... have a tea party... volunteer to babysit a single mama's baby so she can nap...

it all depends on what your kid likes to do. have fun!

katje

[BelovedK]

Those are great ideas I have the same challenge with my 11yo DS. He is into gaming and TV (how did I get us into this???!!?) I thoroughly blame myself. He almost panics when I tell him only 1/2 hour of TV a day, and 1/2 hr of gaming. That is what it is on school days though. I find that when they aren't watching, they do get more creative with their time. DS draws (I can't seem to get him into reading) he DOES read comics, cleans his room...reorganizes and such. DD will play by herself in her room (she is younger)

There, I admitted it...it doesn't feel much like NFL

[Roar]

I think you need to stick with your limit and she will realize that complaining won't help. I'm also wondering what you could offer her in terms of a structure activity with you. It could be: taking a walk, cooking together, a craft together, etc. You aren't obligated to entertain her the whole time, but picking some activity you can enjoy together would be good. Just an idea but my child is about the same age and we've really enjoyed using the Knifty Knitter. It is quite inexpensive and can be fun to work on together while you hang out.

[Linda on the move]

It sounds like she needs help finding a hobby. Why don't you help her look for some items at the library that are things to do -- books about how to draw, tapes on learning a foreign language, books with science projects, books with indoor garden projects, how to knit, etc.

[MrsCorell]

DS is 11 and the same way for awhile. We don't do TV, but we do have gaming systems. I had to MAKE him limit himself or he'd play straight from school until bed. I swear, he wouldn't even stop to eat.

When we started making him limit himself, he would spend all day complaining that he was bored. We let this go on for about two weeks until he eventually created things to do. Now, he's painting, drawing, skateboarding. He's even taken up photography! Just give her some time to think about maybe what she likes? Or, like everyone else said, try out some new hobbies with her and see if she likes any of them. I'm sure with time it'll get better and you won't hear "Mom, I'm bored" as often.

[alllyssa]

If you have a relatively new TV, I would suggest getting to know how to use your V-chip. It is a parents best friend. You can program the tv to only work at certain times, block channels, limit shows based on ratings, etc.

For example, I have my v-chip set to have the tv off 24 hours a day. The tv can't go on w/o my password. If I wanted to have it off every hour of the day except between 6 and 7pm, I could program it to do that.

There is also a program for your computer - called "Log off". It helps parents to not have to be the bad guy and just turns the computer off when their time is up.

Alyssa

[Momtwice]

When my kids are bored I ask them what they are going to do about it. Puts the responsibility on them. And there were several years we were in an apt. We have a lot of arts and crafts supplies, books, and I love the idea above about doing an activity together if that works for you.

I agree that boredom leads to creativity.

[ani'smama]

We tried limiting TV to an hour per day but we finally ended up having no TV at all during the week. I found that when I allowed them an hour, it was causing more conflict than it was worth, i.e., if they had a busy afternoon and it was 8:30 and they still hadn't watched TV, they would still want their hour. So, for the past two years we haven't watched TV during the school week and it has been WONDERFUL. It took a couple weeks to adjust, but once they did, they haven't missed it. And on the weekends when they are allowed to watch a few shows we have DVR'd or a movie, they probably only watch 4 hrs. or so for the entire week(we usually watch a movie or two as a family on the weekends).

I recommend doing away with the tube during the week - I don't think you'll be sorry. The temporary boredom they experienced when we first turned off the TV has most definately led to creativity.

[StarChild]

We also do no tv during the week. I do let dd, who is 9, get books on tape out of the library. It seems like she needs some time after school to just do what she wants with no help or instruction at all. She also hates to read. She will often come home, have a snack and then listen to a book tape while making a book of her own. She loves to illustrate books, then she does eventually write in the words. I give her about an hour with this unless it is a really nice day and then we go bike riding or something.
Trying to get her to help more with preparing dinner too. She loved that when she was a preschooler, where did those days go?

[Marsupialmom]

Boredom is a start of creativity. Have games ready, art stuff, also books read together. The love of reading isn't always about reading solitarity. Books on tape can also be a fun activiy for you all.

Because she is 10 and can read alone doesn't mean is is always the best.

[wakingup]

Cold turkey was best for us

I had two little tv-maniacs. We put the tv in the attic for a year. It was hardest on us parents. The key is that no one including adults can watch tv. But a TV free household was definitely a better behaved household. (They were 5 and 7 I think)

We put it away again for the summer this summer. It is back out, but there is absolutely no TV watching during the week and only educational computer. (email grandparents, play chess, practice typing game) On the weekends, if we aren't busy they can unwind with a TV or DVD or play one of their computer games.

It took about a day before the kids didn't miss it. Every once in a while they would ask for it back, but they were only really sulky that first day.

[frontierpsych]

I used to have a book called "Rainy Days and Saturdays" when I was that age, and I loved it! I wonder if it's still around. Maybe you could Google it? It's a book filled with all kinds of things to do, and it was pretty fun stuff.

[mamalion]

Yep, this book is still around. I have it. I think I ordered it from some book club a few years back. It's great!

[mommy68]

Originally Posted by SamuraiEarthMama

i'll let you in on a little homeschooling secret: a little boredom is OK! it's when they get bored that they break out of old habits and try something new.

ITA without a doubt! My t.v. is never on during the day. Mine were homeschooled until last school year and now are in school but they still don't need t.v. They have musical instruments they play, one likes to read a lot and the others like to paint/draw. They will watch some t.v. at night during the week (before bed) but not a lot. They do homework, play outdoors and look for creatures to capture (run in and out slamming doors, I love it) and they read or play around indoors with stuff.

The bottom line is that you're the parent and you CAN set limits and you should. For a child that has been at school all day long the last thing they need to do is watch t.v. obsessively. So turn off the t.v. and it may take a week or two for them to figure out what to do with themselves but they will take up other interests that will be much better for their brain and their body. For some children it takes forcing them to stop watching t.v. or using the computer in order to figure out there's more they could be doing with their time.