Support thread: Trusting your baby and your body's timing - Page 2

[ComaWhite]

Omg Babs, that soaker is sooo sweet! I wish I could knit like that!!!

Id be up for that draw considering Im sure this baby and many others here are not going to be ready any time soon. My dd was 9 days past her due date based on conception, so I am not expecting this baby earlier than Oct.2nd based on the same # of days... even though my official due date is Sep. 23. Im sure Ill be posting on this thread for the next month with the rest of you Excited? Yes! But Ive waited this long already, I can certainly do another 4 weeks!

Ill be honest here and say this is my grouchy pregnancy-hormones talking but Im really sad about all the panicing and whining and harassing of babies that goes on the last month of pregnancy. For example "natural" induction? Theres nothing natural about forcing your baby to come out early, herbal or not! Im not trying to offend anyone here, Im just trying to voice my concerns over whats really happening here and Im not so good at comming across poltely. A babys transition from womb to world is the first HUGE step in its life. It shouldnt be forced, rushed or mucked with. Let the soul some forth when it is READY to! Can you imagine standing on the edge of a 200ft cliff preparing yourself to bungee jump for the first time and having someone run up behind you and push you off before you are ready? Same thing! Im just a really strong advocate of leaving well enough alone.....

[AppleOrangePear]

mantra that really helped me during the whole prodromal labour and endless labour feeling was this: every contraction I'm having is bringing my body closer to birth. Every contraction is needed, wanted, loved - because it brings me closer to my baby. No contractions are 'pointless'; even the smallest step gets me closer to the finish line.
There is no such thing as taking a step backwards in birth!

Babs I thought this way when in labor with Kai (ds1) I think this is what helped tremendously. I never let it in my mind the thought of "oh im gonna be like this forever, is he ever gonna come out" I was total opposite I was more like "ihe is coming he is ready"(during laboring/contrax)

This time now that i have Kai occuping me I have to remember how many weeks i am and i believe im even MORE relaxed then i was pregnant with him #1 reason knowing i will not have to go to hospital to birth ( that stressed me out leaving even thought i knew i was passed transitioning..i did think.. what if i reallllllly wasnt as far as i thought.... This time its nice to know IM home to stay .. i dont even think of what if ER transfers what if this went wrong so on..... it doesnt pay and can hurt in the long run to think negative.

I feel great pregnant and gosh i started at about 126 and now up to 165. I KNOW i will lose it all i did with DS1 i dont worry about it i just trust my body and know once im a 24 hr milk making mama it will fall off

AND I keep my ringer really low so if people start calling me off the wall to see if i had the baby yet i probably will not even hear the ringing


Our bodies can have babies big and small, naturally, safely. Sure contraxs can tough but HELL look at the gift in the end that was worth it. I also made sure to REALLY appreciate the breaks in between i think i had 2 minutes in between. Thats what i thought of instead of the contrax

(OH yeah jumping in from OCt)


Also i did have one internal and at about 36 weeks i think i was already 0station 4 cen dilated and 90% effaced and still made it to 40wks ( a couple days before my due date)

My thing is you can be 0 station, 6 cent, 100% effaced and STILL have days or weeks.. Our bodies are aware of what they are doing.

Michele

[RainbowsMum]

Yeah my EDD is still 2 weeks and 5 days away... (Not that I'm counting... I'm sure my body knows what it's doing (and I'm positive baby knows) it just feels so frustrating not knowing exactly whats actually going on in there : and as I'm not even due yet, the frustrations only bound to grow : So a positivity thread is a fantastic idea

Someone mentioned a little way up they got their first "have you given birth yet?" phone call... I got my first "have you given birth yet?" text message the other day, I was like "Ah... I'm not due for another 3 weeks!!"

*sigh* baby will come in due time when she's ready I'm sure before I know it I'll blink and she'll be walking and talking and doing other little person type activities...!

[littleteapot]

A friend of mine went 45.5 weeks (by conception) and got sooooo sick of the phone calls. I believe she put an answering machine message on that said something like, "Don't call us: we'll call YOU".

[RainbowsMum]

Originally Posted by littleteapot

A friend of mine went 45.5 weeks (by conception) and got sooooo sick of the phone calls. I believe she put an answering machine message on that said something like, "Don't call us: we'll call YOU".

: : : Love it... Maybe I need to send a bulk text message saying something simmilar - "Don't text me: I'll text you"

[littleteapot]

My personal solution was to tell everyone I'm due in October, and the relatives I hinted at being due in LATE October (not true, my 'due area' is around the cusp of Sept/Oct). That way, unless I'm REALLY overdue, they'll be surprised by the phone call!

[RainbowsMum]

Thats a really good idea... Never thought of that.... At least I'll know to do it for next time

[dakotamidnight]

I know I should trust my body and baby's timing - but it's just soo hard

I'm not used to trusting my body for anything - it's always been out of whack for one reason or another. Nerves issues in my back, and other things. Plus everyone keeps asking when I'm being induced - and I just want this babe to be here already.

I'm exhausted - I slept for nearly 24 hours yesterday only getting up to eat, check email, & use the RR. And I'm still just as tired as I was before doing it. My back & hips are killing me, and I can barely feel my left leg because my nerves in the lower back are messed up so bad. Add in mild contractions for the past few weeks {getting stronger, but never really progressing}, and I'm mostly just miserable.

Plus I'm terrified of this babe taking after me - I was a 45 week baby {dates were very certain}, and only came then due to induction because of severe pre-ecclampsia.

I still have another 5 days until my Due Date - and my OB will only allow me to go 1 week past my Due date before inducing me {which I'm trying to avoid, since I'm not delivering with my OB clinic & affiliated hospital}.

I know I shouldn't panic yet - I still have time and tomorrow's the full moon

Guess I vented a little on here - huh?

[myhoneyswife]

Originally Posted by dakotamidnight

Plus I'm terrified of this babe taking after me - I was a 45 week baby {dates were very certain}, and only came then due to induction because of severe pre-ecclampsia.

44 week baby here... And maybe induced because of pre-e? Sometimes the story goes that pre-E was found upon being admitted to the hospital in labor, somtiems the story says that I was induced because of pre-e. Sheesh, people, get your facts straight! lol. I'm guessing that she was in labor, and then was given Pitocin to speed things up, but that's just my guessing... Not that it really matters, but anyway!

[maciascl]

Yesterday at my mw appt she explained to me what they believe causes the body to go into labor under normal circumstances. It was very intresting!! The baby's adrenal system sends a message to the moms body & then they communicate back & forth to get things going.

She also said that right at the end baby is growing lots of brain cells & gaining 'brown fat'. Brown fat helps baby regulate it's body temp & helps improve metobilization. Hopefully a better metabolisim means this baby will not have as hard of a time gaining weight as DS did.

Anyway I just thought that was intresting & this would be the place to share it... Even though I am still hoping the full moon helps encourage my baby out SOON!!! :

[Piper's mama]

[QUOTE=maciascl] Hopefully a better metabolisim means this baby will not have as hard of a time gaining weight as DS did.
[/QUOTE]

That's actually a good point. I totally believe that bigger or "older" babies have a much better time of it. DD went 10 days past her EDD, and weighed 8lbs 12 ozs. It took her about 15 minutes to demand food. And the kid was an expert breastfeeder. Plus she slept in 4 hour intervals. It does make the waiting a bit bearable to think about it that way.

[_betsy_]

I have a fight on my hands. Doc scheduled an induction for next Weds. at Tuesday's appointment. For NO REASON other than I will be three whopping days past my EDD. When did an ESTIMATED due date become a deadline? I was so shocked he was suggesting it and so utterly shocked my DH was going along with it that I sat in there in silence, on the verge of tears. This PG has been very smooth sialing, no medical issues, no high blood pressure, no excessive weight gain, no low fluid, nothing to suggest I need to be induced. I have another appointment Monday, with an US to check fluid levels, and I believe I will refuse to be induced then. I just can't believe that my healthy, normally-progressing pregnancy somehow STOPS being normal and healthy just because we've hit the EDD. It's an ESTIMATE, not a deadline. My periods have always been unpredictible and we weren't charting. Isn't the gestational period for MOST healthy, normally progressing first time moms 40 weeks PLUS 8 days? So 41 weeks, 1 day? I am in no hurry to have this kid. I am not incredibly uncomfortable. I am having no issues to suggest an induction is necessary. The placenta is NOT going to shrivel up and die just beacuse we are a couple days past an arbitrarily chosen date on a calender.

The doc even said he was scheduling it because it was EASIER ON HIM AND THE HOSPITAL than to have laboring women just show up!

What really is eating me up is DH ate it up and is gung ho about induction, DESPITE knowing my concerns and my desire for an intervention-free labor.

Help me fight this. I know, my first and obvious mistakes here are 1) OB birth 2) hospital birth and 3) not standing up for myself at Tuesday's appointment. But nothing is set in stone, I don't HAVE to show up at the hospital next week against my will. And hey, maybe baby will come on his/her own this weekend and it'll be a moot point.

Help me fight this. Arm me with words.

[maciascl]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

I just can't believe that my healthy, normally-progressing pregnancy somehow STOPS being normal and healthy just because we've hit the EDD. It's an ESTIMATE, not a deadline.

Well you answered that with this...

Originally Posted by _betsty_

The doc even said he was scheduling it because it was EASIER ON HIM AND THE HOSPITAL than to have laboring women just show up!

How horribly frustrating especially since your DH is not in agreement with you about it. Personally I just would not go. The only other thing I can suggest is to make the OB tell you why this needs to be done & if he doesn't have a legit reason (which you've said he doesn't) then say something like 'since it's not medically necessary, no thanks, I prefer to just let my body do what it needs to right now'. Good luck!

[littleteapot]

I agree with that. ^
Tell him NO. Say it loud and proud. You will not submit to an unnecessary induction and will not even TALK about it until you're getting toward 43 weeks, positive about your due dates (this includes a reevaluation) and showing zero signs of impending labour. If he wants studies to show that going postdates is safe, offer to provide them.

Also, you can switch to a midwife at *any* time.

[crazyeight]

betsy--talk to your dh first. i think that if you feel more backed up by him then you will certainly have the "courage" to tell your ob to lay off. since the ob said he wanted it for his comfort ask him if hes been pregnant!! say thanks for thinking of ME (sarcasticly) but i don't care about YOUR schedule this is your job!! i am not being inducted see you next week!!

[dakotamidnight]

woohoo! Just got back from OB appt - and things are working!

I'm a loose 1 cm, according to my OB. She offered to strip my membranes, but I didn't let her. Maybe if I make my appt in a week, then perhaps I'll allow it. They won't start talking induction until next week - so hopefully she'll be here before this coming thursday.

I'm soo glad to know things are working! Course now I'm super crampy from the exam - so I took a very long walk and maybe things will get going.

[MovingMomma]

Originally Posted by _betsy_

Isn't the gestational period for MOST healthy, normally progressing first time moms 40 weeks PLUS 8 days? So 41 weeks, 1 day?

Yes, average gestation for first babies is 41w1d. http://www.plus-size-pregnancy.org/figuring.htm

Originally Posted by _betsy_

The doc even said he was scheduling it because it was EASIER ON HIM AND THE HOSPITAL than to have laboring women just show up!

That is soooo wrong! :

Originally Posted by _betsy_

What really is eating me up is DH ate it up and is gung ho about induction, DESPITE knowing my concerns and my desire for an intervention-free labor.

Why did he think it sounded like a good idea? Hopefully a good talk will convince him otherwise.

Originally Posted by _betsy_

Help me fight this. Arm me with words.

Here's your word: "NO."

And as littleteapot said, it is not too late to switch providers. At least use this as a learning experience...as hard as it was to speak up in his office, it will be so much harder to disagree when you are in the middle of laboring.

[elanorh]

Betsy!!

Help me fight this. Arm me with words.

Check out the information in this thread (link below) from the Birth and Beyond forum here. There is a discussion about inductions, how well they "work," and due dates etc. With links to information (only about 10 posts thus far). Review it and discuss with your dh ASAP. C-Section rate is higher with inductions - does dh want to put you/baby through major surgery to make things more "convenient" for the doctor?? After reviewing the information -- I bet your dh will be on board with you. With a united front, you can definitely confront the doctor, stand your ground, etc.

http://www.mothering.com/discussions...d.php?t=516328

I'd tell doc that the only induction you're having is if there is medical proof that you/your infant is *at risk*. Not a "guess," not "convenience," but literally signs that your infant is in distress. And - I'd do some research about local mw practices or ob/midwife practices and see whether someone could take you on at this late date. Maybe even before you have your conversation with the OB - so that if you have to get up and leave in a huff, you can do so without feeling fear that you won't have anyone to take you on, if push comes to shove (pun intended ).

I love my OB. They aren't *all* bad -- I had my appointment today for 37 weeks and we were talking about how it's better to have a "fully baked" babe for breathing issues, nursing, etc. etc. He totally understands why dh and I would actually like to overshoot our "due date." And asked if baby will be "living with you and dh, or in a crib." I said - living with - and he said, "Good, that really does work better for everyone I think." I know OBs who are supportive of NCB, BF, etc. etc. are hard to find .... but wanted to let you know that they are out there (a few) - which is good because there were no midwives in this town 'til this spring.

[noteworthy]

A statistic that I learned when doing my maternal nursing class was that 80% of babies are born 2 weeks on either side of their EDD. So, we all still have plenty of time.

[noteworthy]

Originally Posted by MovingMomma

At least use this as a learning experience...as hard as it was to speak up in his office, it will be so much harder to disagree when you are in the middle of laboring.

Don't forget the nurses. Ask his nurse to help be your advocate. Even at the hospital, nurses are supposed to be the patient's advocate at all times. Get them in your court and it will be a lot easier. Talk with them and you will be suprised at how well they can "run interference" between you and the doc.