Support thread: Trusting your baby and your body's timing - Page 5

[clovergirl]

just wanted to pop in and show some support for my fellow waiting mamas!

i'm either a few days past or a few days from my EDD (i have 2- a week apart). i haven't hit the complaining stage yet, mostly because i don't have anything to complain about. : haven't had prodromal labor and i'm not any less comfortable then i was last month, really.
but with my last DD's birth, i had like 9hrs of prodromal labor the day before she was born (11pm-8am light contractions about 15mins apart, just enough to keep me awake) and man did that suck! so i feel your pain, sanguine! after getting no sleep that night my DH stayed home from work and i dosed myself with valerian and skullcap and slept until almost dinnertime!

i really really hate all the time constraints put on pregancy and labor. does the baby have a calendar and a watch in there with them? um, no. babies come when babies come. now that we've past the full moon i'm shooting for an equinox birth! anyone else want to join me? it's only 10 more days away... what's 10 more days?

[qjraven8]

definitely there with ya clovergirl .... been hoping and dreaming for an equinox baby for quite a while

[clovergirl]

alright, who wants to hear me rant?
yesterday DH got an email from a friend (not a very close friend, FWIW) who is due tomorrow, i think, with her first. anyway, we hadn't talked to her in about a month so she was checking in to see if i had the baby yet, etc. then she goes on to say that she saw her OB that day and that they are scheduling her for an induction monday if her babe hasn't shown up by then because he's measuring a bit over 8lbs and they don't want to risk her having to have a c-sect. : and i have another friend (who's on these boards : ) expecting twins who's 34 or 35wks and today one of her OBs told her that they would be scheduling her c-sect at her visit next week... just because they don't want to risk anything happening. i just don't even know what to say... WTF is wrong with these doctors?
ARGHHHHHH.
the state of maternity care in our country is so out of whack. i am so very thankful for homebirthing right about now.

[time4another]

first time posting to this thread...I'm feeling the need today though.

I need to say this over and over...I am not due for another few days. Baby will come when she's ready.

I am starting to get a wee bit impatient...

Heather

[maciascl]

I had a minor panic attack last night worrying that I will go well past 42 weeks & end up in the hospital being induced or c-sect. I know this is crazy since I am not even really due until Sunday, but I can't help it. DS was born 17 days early so I feel like I am 'late' already.

I do trust that my baby will come when he is ready, but it is getting harder & harder to wait calmly. I am starting to get uptight & nervous, even cranky, which I haven't been until recently. I don't like feeling like this & poor DS ends up getting the worst of it. I am not a very good toddler mommy right now:

[littleteapot]

Cheryl, none of us are very good toddler mommies right now, I think! There's another thread on here about it...

I'm certainly not doing that great with my very spirited 3 year old!! I console myself by repeating that it WILL get easier. Once I have more mobility, less pain, I'll be less cranky. When I can just strap a newborn to my body and nurse the day away I'll be a WAY better person than my hugely pregnant self.

[qjraven8]

hello all, usually would be sleeping right now as just moved to third shift at work.... havent had any signs of anything yet ... til the day of my baby shower (today) and i keep waking up to cx. having a hard time believing its the real deal. no loss of plug yet ... but of course they're waking me up!!! of course i also dont have my bag packed for the hosp - no home birth for me at this point - so, i thought i'd get up for a few and see if that made a difference. really want some sleep as i'm quite tired :
of course i've been saying i'm getting impatient ... but now am slightly worried its just a little too soon ... so many things to do still!!! PLUS, my best friend is to be there at the hosp for me and she's at a wedding today (no cell phone) and something else going on before we have my shower!!
but, i'm really aiming at trusting my body and my baby ... and the universe's timing!

[littleteapot]

This thread needs a bump.

I'm personally feeling way better today. I think I'm starting to get excited and eager for birth, and this is big for me because previously I was terrified to give birth. My husband said to me the other day that he's proud of how well I'm doing this time, because with DD I was WAY obsessed with my due date and really freaking when I didn't have her before it. With this one I'm eager, but not pushing it like I was with her. It felt really good to have DH say that!

[bohemama]

Ahhh I need this thread today! I never thought I'd be so anxious to have this baby!!! And I really wasn't expecting to feel so impatient so soon after my due date. It doesn't help that everyone keeps asking if I've had the baby yet or when I think the baby is coming or how far my Dr. is going to "let" me go before they induce. Ummm I'm having a homebirth with a midwife. She's going to "let" me go until the baby comes out!!!:

Yesterday and today I've been all about trying some natural induction (ha!) techniques. Then I realized that I don't really want to do that. I know my baby knows when it's ready to come. I just need to let my mind off the hook and take it as it comes. I've had the 19th stuck in my head for quite a while now and I can't get over that this baby just might not be ready tomorrow. It's ok if s/he's not. I'm not going to be pregnant forever! I just want to meet this babe and find out if it's a boy or girl. Everything is ready. I just went through the house and cleaned a few things that have been bugging me. There's more stuff I can do, but honestly I don't want the house to be completely spotless because once the baby comes I won't be able to keep it up and it will drive me crazy. As long as everything is clean and put away I'm happy!

Anyway, thanks for letting me rant! I just need to remember that my baby knows when it's supposed to be born and that I'm not going to be pregnant forever!!

[littleteapot]

I wanted to share what I NEVER have before:
When I was pregnant with my daughter, and overdue, I was really impatient. I woke up disappointed every morning when I hadn't gone into labour, and went to bed praying I'd go into labour. I pushed her hard, emotionally, and sent her constant messages that I did not want her in there.

The night I went into labour, I tried nipple stimulation for over two hours straight. I started with irregular contractions and eventually went into 44 hours of hard, non-progressive labour. It ended in a natural, vaginal birth - but it was hard.
My daughter, who is now three, has proven to be the type to NEVER be told what to do. Ever. Not unless I want a war of the worlds. I believe that, among some other reasons, this was why she took so long to come out: I tried to push her and she dug her heels in for two solid days until the day she was MEANT to come out on.

I never told anyone that because I was a little ashamed that I'd tried to push her, and my body, when neither were ready. At least she taught me something important!

[mojumi]

I trust my baby's timing but it makes me nuts to feel like my due date was my 'expiration' date. Immediately everyone starts asking when I'm going to be induced, or acting like I'm going to explode. (Now, true enough that emotionally I may be ready to explode but not physically ... ) And of course everyone wants to know if I'm effaced, dialated, etc. I say 'well, we know I'm not in labor so that's irrelevant" and people stare like I have three heads. (I've had no internals since my initial prenatal exam 30-odd wks ago. And no intention of having one to satisfy strangers in the grocery check out line.) Everyone wants to tell me a horror story about how 'late' they were, or their friend, how the baby was too big, they needed a section, blah blah blah. And then I want to shake them when they tell me they went to 39 weeks and had to induce because the baby was almost 8 pounds. Oh, really? My first was over 9 pounds and a day shy of 42 weeks, but that worked out fine I'm sure this will too, thank you very much.

Rant over. Deep breath. Thank you.

[time4another]

Well...today's my "due date" whatever the heck that means...

What it means is this: DD's classmate's parents start telling me that they hope they don't see me 'next week', they tell me I look 'done', I don't even want to show my face for dance or to pick DD up from school.

DH asks me on a daily, almost hourly basis 'how I'm feeling' um, yeah dear, I think I'd tell you if I felt any different than when you asked this morning...

I'm getting sad because of all the 'predictions' that friends/family members are making...DH predicted last Saturday boy was he wrong, his sister choose the same weekend and MIL thinks that 'today's the day' (um sorry MIL, but *I have no signs at ALL* of giving birth within the next 12-14hrs).

I'm also EXTREMELY upset by people telling me when I can or can't have the baby, including myself I admit. Except now, I have my calendar cleared and she's free to arrive at any moment. I'm annoyed that I have to keep the Patriot's home schedule in my head for the next few weeks. I'm annoyed at myself because I am utterly aware of what days would be better than others (Mondays and Fridays DDs have dance). :

I'm anxious for her to be born. I can't wait to see her. I can't wait to nurse her. I can't wait to have the whole HB experience. I know perfectly well she'll choose her birthday when she's ready. Its hard right now though because, well I'm tired, cranky, my body is just huge and achy-heck, I bent over the other night to pick something up off the floor and almost fell onto my face! : My other two were both born within 3 days of thier due dates so I know it could be very soon too...

I feel like a watch pot & I want to go hide and not talk to anyone until she's born.:



Heather

[maciascl]

Originally Posted by mojumi

I trust my baby's timing but it makes me nuts to feel like my due date was my 'expiration' date. Immediately everyone starts asking when I'm going to be induced, or acting like I'm going to explode. (Now, true enough that emotionally I may be ready to explode but not physically ... )

: My MIL is calling me literally EVERY DAY to see how I am feeling. She knows she is one of the 1st people that will get a call when I go into labor becuase she is going to help take care of DS. Yesterday my mom AND my Step-dad called too. MY SILs called over the weekend so I am sure they are due to call again soon.

What do these people want me to tell them??? I am crabby & I don't want to talk to you!!! Because that is how I feel Oddly enough when my friends call I am totally fine, but I don't think my friends are expecting me to 'explode' at any moment quite like my family is. Truely I appreciate that my family cares & is intrested, but I just don't know what they expect me to say to them. I realize I've not had my baby yet & I am TRYING to remain calm & relaxed about it...and your calls are not helping me!!!!

OK I am done now I kep telling DH I am just going to put a message on the answering mach saying that I am still preg & will let people know when I am not anymore & stop answering the phone, but I'm afraid to hurt peoples feelings because I know they are only calling because they care...grrrrr...so frustrating

[elanorh]

DH asks me on a daily, almost hourly basis 'how I'm feeling' um, yeah dear, I think I'd tell you if I felt any different than when you asked this morning...

I told dh last night (about the tenth time he asked me this yesterday) - "You know, honey - you're the person I am MOST going to need with me when I go into labor, don't worry, I will definitely tell you if things start changing!!" He keeps hoping/wondering/worrying. And was horrified when I told him yesterday that, just because in retrospect I was having some signs of early labor (a couple contractions) earlier in the day before I knew I was going into labor with Ina --- doesn't mean I'll have any signs like that *this* time and I could very well just go into labor and deliver a few hours later. His reaction: !!

And, all the calls and emails from friends "just checking in" with us - not so frustrating as family. I can understand friends wondering, "Well, did they have the baby but forget to call or email?" But relatives -- obviously they're going to get a call.

Anyway - we're approaching the due date quickly now. I've been calling it the "due estimate" with people. Wish I'd heard that suggestion back when we first HAD a due date. Our Ina-watchers are all super-busy this weekend, so it's pretty likely that baby will arrive sometime this weekend (and quickly) since it is more likely that this weekend, we would have a situation where we couldn't contact anyone fast enough to get her cared for.

[elanorh]

Thought I'd check in again ....

SIL has a friend who is due the same day we are - at her appointment today the doctor wanted to schedule the induction for next week "in case" she doesn't deliver before then. : Friend thinks this is ridiculous, fortunately. And so does SIL.

DH told his dad tonight that, "You do realize that we could have this baby even in October, there's a two week window after the due date?" His dad was flabbergasted. What's with treating the due date like it's an absolute finish line and if you haven't had babe by 12:01 that next day, something's wrong??? : Fortunately, dh is on board with the "no induction without a medical indication (distress)" approach.

OB is also quite laid-back. At my appointment yesterday he said, "Well, I'll see you next Thursday if not sooner!" No talk about inductions, etc. at all. I suppose if I'm in the office next Thursday, we'll talk about it a bit - but I think he'll respect our want not to induce unless there's a medical concern; he's pretty laid-back.

I really think next time I'll "over" estimate by about 2 weeks with everyone (except dh and maybe my mom) -- and just remind people that babies have about a month+ window for when they will decide, on their own, when to come.

We're getting a lot of calls. DH is getting annoyed even! He's the one who answers the phone most of the time.

And my "to do" list has gotten much shorter. All I have "left" to do now, is scrub the kitchen floor -- everything else is frosting on the cake (extra sewing projects completed etc.).

[maciascl]

Originally Posted by elanorh

We're getting a lot of calls. DH is getting annoyed even! He's the one who answers the phone most of the time.

Uggg...the phone calls are insane!!! My MIL is calling everyday & DH got really ticked yesterday because my MIL called me in a panic because I didn't answer the home phone (duh I was out : ) & he didn't answer his cell, which never rang...I think she is making things up now. I appreciate that they care, but don't they realize how draining their constant calls are? Oddly enough friends calling doesn't bother me. I think becuse they are not acting like I am about to expode at any moment & my family is.

Anyway I had my first session of real strong, painful, timeable ctx that petered out last night: : I got up to go pee & when I tried to get off the toilet I couldn't move. It was very strange I felt very open & it seemed to last forever. Finally I went back to bed & timed them for about an hour. they were mostly about 10 min apart & 1 min long. Then I had to pee again & I was hungry so went potty & had a snack & the ctx disapeared. I am very bummed because I really kinda hoped they'd just start up again this morning...but nothing yet. Please baby please :

[Diprincess]

I really thought last night/this morning was it. My dh and I went for a 3 mile walk Wednesday (my due date) and a 3.5 mile walk last night. Nothing happened after Wednesday's walk, but last night I started having contractions every 4-5 minutes for 2 hours. They started slowing down at about 1am, so I made myself some RRL tea, and they started up again around 2:30am or so. They were every 5 minutes for the next 3 hours, and have been pretty much gone since then. I've been pretty disappointed today because of that, but my mom said she'd come watch our ds again so we could go for another walk. Hopefully that will help.

[time4another]

well my body's practicing too. Nothing too close together, just very noticeable and crampy. I felt very different yesterday afternoon, she's dropped some more. Nothing today though...getting depressed. This is officially my longest pg yet, as both DDs were born by this GA. I keep thinking that next weekend at this time I'll be holding her...and muttering behind my breath 'I sure hope so'.

I wanted to walk a couple times today but its raining out. I've finished up everything I could think of to do. The only things I've got on my list now are ordering invitations and party favors for DD1s BDay party next month and weed & tend to my roses, which I can't do now, cuz its raining of course. We're going out in a bit to do some window shopping for a new fridge (write down model #s and such), then have really bad for you food. That'll accomplish some walking at least.

Tomorrow, if I'm still pg then i'll do my rose garden. Its also suposed to thunder tomorrow...so I'm hoping for a big storm & big change in barometric pressure.

sigh...

Heather

[ComaWhite]

Well, its my due date today and my body is doing NOTHING!!!!! no bh, no nothing at all. Ah well!
I wonder how much longer this little one needs to cook?

Im anxious to meet him/her but I really am enjoying these last few days alone with and totally focused on my dd. I really love my girl and Im so excited because I know shes going to be a great big sister

[quinbearzmama]

It is such a relief to read these posts and know that I'm not alone in becoming really anxious. I feel like my mood swings have hit an all time record as I try to stay positive but 30 minutes later have convinced myself that this baby is going to be 2 weeks late. : Glad I have all of you for support