uniform rant

[Montessori Mommy]

this isn't the end of the world or anything, but i am a bit annoyed...

my 2 dds are back in Montessori today. This is their second year at this particular Montessori school, and oldest is in KG this year. We went to meet the teacher day last week (a-hem, 5 days before the first day of school) and I received and read the new and improved student handbook. It said all KG wear a uniform now, and this is the first i've heard of it?!?! I asked her teacher about this new addition and she told me not to worry about it for the first week, she wasn't sure how it was going to work, and she'd get back to me.

I've already done all the school clothes shopping (and some of it periodically over the summer at thrift stores), one of my shopping trips was to use a 15% off coupon, etc. So yes, I'm annoyed that ample notice wasn't given by the school and I've already spent money for school clothes (and can't return those items) and now I have to spend more to get the uniforms.

Secondly, and this annoys me even more, it seems only KGers wear a uniform. Both DDs are in the primary class for 3-6, some kids have to wear uniforms (KG), some don't (under age 5). That doesn't make sense to me. The admin told me a lot of school do it that way. I think uniforms are great and all, but put them on everybody or nobody. I'm already hearing the morning arguements that my oldest will have will me about why does little sis get to wear a pretty dress and she can't, or she's sick of wearing the same outfit everyday and some kids don't have to, etc. Really just venting, but anyone else heard of half a class wearing a uniform?

[flyingspaghettimama]

Nope. I haven't. It sounds really weird to me, and economically unfair to you.

[Flor]

Why just kinders? That's weird!

[Lillianna]

What is the uniform like? It seems like if they want some to wear uniforms, they should have everyone wear them. Did they explain why they are requiring some and not others? Our school doesn't do uniforms except for gym class. It was pretty unfair of them to give you such short notice!

[Montessori Mommy]

the uniform is nothing fancy, we don't need anything with a school emblem or anything, we can puchase them anywhere, but they need to have specific colored pants/skirts (khaki material), and tops (polo or button down). DD is big on fabric comfort for one thing, she only likes "soft pants" (those leggin type tee-shirt stretch kind) or dresses. It will be hard to explain to her why only half the class must dress this way, she doesn't quite understand what being KG means vs the non KG in her class, the ages are all mixed together. To me, uniforms convey fitting in or being alike (and school is not a fashion show, yada yada), where in this situation, it seems to make them somehow different from their non KG classmates, which I don't think Dr. Montessori would stand behind.

[Montessori Mommy]

okay, now I'm angry. I went in to speak to the new director of the school today and bring up my concerns about the uniform. This was the first time I've actually met her. (a little background, this school is only 2 years old, we decided to go there because we knew some awesome teachers that were going to teach there and we followed them. last year they had a wonderful director, she was great at listening to parents and handling situations from the people side of things. she was abruptly fired over the summer for reasons nobody knows. perhaps her paper pushing skills weren't up to par, who knows, but like i said, she was great from the parents' perspective.) The new person that was hired was being touted as the best thing since sliced bread, according to the letter of introduction the school sent us. she has this degree and that degree, blah blah blah. Can I say I am unimpressed?!?!

I introduced myself to her and welcomed her to the school. She LITERALLY looked down her nose at me and did not respond or shake my hand, tell me her name, etc. oooooooookay...I proceeded to tell her that while I understand and even support having uniforms, I didn't understand the reasonings behind the uniform policy and that, to me, uniforms mean uniformity, but when only half the class wears them, it means 'you are different from the rest of us.' In the most rude and authoritarian tone I can possibly recall anyone speaking to me during my entire adult life, this woman said that "they are in KG and they ARE different." period. she then said it would be "absurd" (and that's a quote) for toddlers to wear uniforms. okay, well the primary class is not the toddler class. why not have *all* primary students wear uniforms? to which she responded, we are preparing KG for further schooling either public or Montessori and they need to get acclimated to wearing a uniform. okay, whatever that is all about. do you have to ease a child into wearing a uniform? is this a slow, multi-year process?

I ended the conversation with bringing up that it was also a sudden thing to hear about the uniforms 5 days before school (and it was news to DDs teacher who has been there for 2 years as well). She told me they had this policy last year and I curtly let her know that if it did exist last year, none of the KGers in DDs primary class ever once wore them. I thanked her for her time and ended the conversation.

I am so angry that she took this road rather than something along the lines of "i hear what you're saying, I understand your concern, but we've thought a lot about this and think it's the best way..." you know, a diplomatic answer, AT LEAST. I really really really LOVE Montessori and LOOOVE DDs teacher and want her to be in that class, but I am so mad, I've thought of pulling them out today! I am homeschooling next year for many reasons, and dealing with people like this who talk down to me for standing up for my children and think they know more than they know about children and their minds is one of the reasons! i think i need a hug. ugh! :

[Lillianna]

OMG!!!!

Big

Good for you for voicing you concerns! It sounds like she was ready for you. I completely agree with you - there really is no purpose to having them wear uniforms except to prepare them to be like everyone else. Those uniforms sound like getting ready for prep school. Also, the purpose of education, according to Dr. Montessori, is to prepare a child for life, not for further schooling. Public schools and Montessori don't usually require uniforms, so her argument was mute anyways. What are her credentials???

Good luck.

[flyingspaghettimama]

Originally Posted by Montessori Mommy

okay, whatever that is all about. do you have to ease a child into wearing a uniform? is this a slow, multi-year process?

That is hilarious.

In any case, I somewhat doubt this woman's credentials as some sort of Montessori expert. There is no "Kindergarten" in Montessori (Lillianna, correct me if I'm wrong). There are third-year students, but no Kindergarteners, and it's sort of strange for a directress to refer to them as such? I would challenge this woman to point to ANY evidence in any of Montessori's books in support of uniforms. Or using the word "kindergartener."

[Montessori Mommy]

Yeah, there is no official "KG" in Montessori, but several schools apply the term to 3rd year primary. Our school also only goes up to 3-6 primary, and indeed, the KGers are all going to move on to different schools, I think that's where the distinction comes in. If the directress knows your child will be going to a non-Montessori, they break from protocol and encourage certain activities to prepare these eager intrinsic learners for the more rigid forced curriculum they will encounter in public school. It not purist, but it is reality. Some parents are in Montessori for the methods, but many of them just look at it as a good preschool, or even...the most expensive daycare ever!:

I'm sure others can relate, but I can't tell you how many parents in Montessori don't understand the basics of the philosophy and bug the "teachers" to make sure their child can add, subtract, multiply, read and write, and when are they going to "teach" these things...

[Ruthla]

That has got to be the most stupid "uniform policy" I've ever heard!

I'm not overly familiar with the Montesori class descriptions, but it would make sense to me if the kids in the 3-6 class don't wear uniforms but the kids in the 7-10 class do (or whatever the cutoff points are.) It makes absolutely no sense for half the kids in the same classroom to wear uniforms when the other half doesn't.

[Montessori Mommy]

yay! i spoke with the owner of the school today about my concerns. she completely understood my stance about only half of the children wearing uniforms and decided that no uniform policy will be enforced this year, and that hopefully next year, it will be school wide.

she also apologized for the new director and reassured me that she is overwhelmed and well intentioned, but not a "sugar coating" type personality. I reminded her that this woman does work with children, and while she may be a great director and methodically efficient, she could use some polish on her tact and civility without being saccharine. She agreed and hopes that we will see some change in that department.

I'm happy now!

[cinnamonamon]

congrats! And good for you for taking it up the ladder, so to speak!