Newbie: writing with 3 1/2 mo old?

[eco-girl]

Hi everyone,

I've published some short stories and a poem, but this is the first time I'm trying to write at home alone with DS since DH went back to work today.

I love DS and spend a lot of my time BF-ing, playing, changing CD's, etc. I feel guilty parking him in his vibrating chair or whatever when I try to write, especially since he lights up so obviously when I pay attention to him. I tried to write, but didn't really get anything done until just now, after DS is asleep, DH and I had dinner, etc.

So my question is, how do you buy yourself writing time during the day with an infant? And does anyone else feel guilty about it? Leaving writing 'til late, I don't have as much energy to write queries, send out short stories, etc. I know I'll have to find a balance between the two of us. He wouldn't nap except on me today.

Part of me whispers, You'll never have this time with him again. Enjoy it. The other part of me wants to write.

Thanks & looking forward to meeting you,
Melissa

[boatbaby]

Well I hate to be the one to say it -- but this is going to be your best opportunity to write while your baby is small and non-mobile.
I would use his nap time to get on the computer and start jotting things down. When you progress into a one-nap active toddler (which will come sooner than you realize) it gets harder to carve out the time.

I still manage to make a full living writing - and spend full awak hours with my son. It is not easy. But I wear him down during the morning, make the most of nap time, and then when DH gets home I use the evening hours while DS gets some daddy time.

I also dedicate some weeken time while DS and daddy do stuff.

Try to come up with a routine that works for your family. And stick with it - you CAN make it work.

[eco-girl]

That makes sense, boatbaby, and congratulations on your baby and your writing. I just wonder if you have any specific tips for the "small and non-mobile" age, like what activities/play centres, did you sling him for naps, and does anyone else feel guilty about wanting to write while with your babe, and how do you deal?

[**guest**]

now that i have a 4 year old and a 20 m old, i am painfully aware how much free time i had when dd was 3 months old! seriously.

it is much harder to find the time now.

i write at short intervals during the day, and then after they are asleep. sometimes if dd plays by herself when ds naps, i write then. but i think he is giving up his naps.

when ds was little, and even now, i do a lot of writing while bouncing him to sleep in the moby on the exercise ball he loves it, it is some exercise for my thighs, and i do two things at once. then when he is asleep i put him to bed to keep on napping or for the night, and spend some time with dd, 1:1.

i used to put him to sleep while lying down with him and nursing, and it took longer, and i thought about it as a waste of my time not any more. sometimes i wish it took him longer to fall asleep

honestly, when they are little, it is the best time. then i am looking forward toa year from now, i think i will have a bit more time then. maybe not.

what is your submission strategy? i have several stories on line, and 2 in small print mags. i stil can't figure out where to focus -- print or on-line. i write mostly flash, so the on-line market is not considered to be less serious than print. do you know about duotrope.com?

[eco-girl]

Hi!

Yes, I'm sure I'll look back and see the free time, but I spend a lot of time BF-ing and playing and holding him and trying to catch up on my sleep. Thanks for the tip, I love the image of you bouncing with him on the Moby. My guy often wakes up when I put him down, but I guess I have to keep trying.

Right now, I'm concentrating on submitting novels, but for short stories, I do use duotrope, and I like it. I also use ralan.com for more speculative stuff. I have subscribed to writersmarket.com, which I haven't used a lot yet, and Publisher's Market to get to know the names of editors and agents and figure out the biz. I try to sell print because I find them more established, often pay better, and easier to limit the copyright. OTOH, I'm in the middle of a long selling drought, so it's a good thing we're not relying on this for income!

What sort of things do you write about in your flash fiction? Thanks for answering!

[**guest**]

Originally Posted by eco-girl

What sort of things do you write about in your flash fiction? Thanks for answering!

oh, about all kind of things i'm applying for an on-line writing course, so i've tried to think about common themes for the cover letter, and it seems that i write about "mental and physical illness, displacement, and identity" huh? a friend of mine says that i often have cruel mothers and misunderstood daughters in my flashes. though sometimes the other way around.

there are links in my blog

what are your novels about?

[eco-girl]

Sorry I'm late to write back. I saw your blog--very nice, and I'm excited you're Canadian too! Baffin Island, wow. I live in Eastern Ontario, about 1 h away from Ottawa, but have worked a bit in Nunavik (N. Quebec), so I love the north, too.

Gosh, your writing sounds complex. I write from my subconscious. So...mental illness also comes up in mine sometimes. Feminism, magic, love, religion, grief--lots of stuff! :

Hope to hear from you soon & that your writing and life are going well.

Today is my birthday, gotta go celebrate!